Spanky_Ham everyone. Enjoy..
1/ Who/what are you?
Well, there's two of us here, on this end of the intermewebs... me, the
meat sock. Im a flabby white nerdy nerd nerd, who excels at nerdy stuff,
loves computers and technology, works in a Biotechnology research
lab...My head also has a, well, squatter -> spanky_ham - my lycra loving
alternative psychotic foul mouthed bacon flavored doughnut/chico roll
powered personality... who likes to ride bikes... since spanky cant
type, or apparently clean up after himself... you'll tend to find me not
too far away, just out of range of the fecal flinging...
2/ I've heard from sources that you actually ride bikes? Is this true?
Me Ride? Ahh, sh*t no... seems to sweaty, dirty, smelly, lack of
computers, and nerdy stuff- but it's a perfect pig environment..., and
spanky loves to ride... its like pig heroin. Unfortunately for spanky, I
have to work in the shitty city and live in the boondogs, so, currently
spanky's riding time is being reduced severely.. leading to unhappy pig.
Hopefully, there will be another period of riding to work soon...not
good, but better than nothing.. Keeps spanky riding! Spanky can't jump,
go uphills, go downhills, round corners, ride on dirt, on tarmac,
basically just remains upright some of the time...
3/ What bikes do you have?
Spanky's main bike is the Yeti 575, there's a 1996 heckler that's half
way back together, early 2000-ish bighit, and a Giant ATX something
something something that's got the spin rims - that lives on the lounge
room trainer (thanks again toxic!) for late night bordem... I caught
spanky raiding the chico roll change bowl.. apparently he now wants me
to get the heckler back for him asap.
4/ What was your most memorable ride?
Some of the Blue Mountains Psycho Night rides were just awesome, cussing
at BM_Epic and Moggio... Dark as the inside of a pig Yellowmundee runs
with just Toxic and spanky was gold... have done wicked oaks at night,
... any ride is awesome... riding to the chico roll dealer to get on...
spanky did just put a dent in the wall after trying to get off the track
bike... that was pretty memorable!! A couple of runs of a track in
Rotorua called Gunna Gotta will never be erased from spanky's memory
5/ What is something about you that few people know?
Spanky's having trouble seeing the positives for this... but we've
started the enrollment process to go back to uni next year..... to do
Secondary Education, you know.. high school teacher... Have you ever had
a more compulsive argument to keep your kids at home and home school the
I'm trying to sell it to spanky based on the shorter days, long
holidays... he's looking through the law books...anyone know about the
legality of tasers/mace in the class room? So far... the pigs not buying it.
6/ What does your boss think of Mountain bikes?
Im very lucky, my current boss is fully supportive of mountain biking...
and when spanky's allowed to ride to work, the bike is allowed to live
in the lab... which is pretty cool. Come to think of it... last few jobs
have been really bike friendly... every job we've had for the last...
what >7 years has been very bike friendly. The lab looks out onto the
bike rack, so spanky also keeps an eye on the rack for others... f*cking
7/ What does your boss think of Dissociative identity disorders?
Spanky and my boss go drinking, so, Mr Boss Man is totally cool with
it... women on the other hand are apparently scared to meet spanky...
cant work that one out. Spanky would also like to point out he fully
supports Beyondblue (small plug) for helping out people with mental
issues... something society really needs to start accepting... no one
asks for cancer, and no one asks to be schizophrenic or have mental
issues. Next time you see someone acting well, left of centre, don't
point and laugh and call them a spaz.. spanky can move his flabby arse
quicker than you'd expect.
8/ Last time you got approached by the police?
Well, first it was the nicest dog... Awwww, he had such big sooky
eyes... and then spanky points out the fact the dog was attached to a
cabal of po-leece sheeple... sh*t... A Chico Roll Sniffer Dog??? No,
apparently it was a 'Controlled substance' dog... we have no idea why
the dog liked us, maybe it could just smell the bacon.
9/ The last time someone yelled at you?
Not many people speak to spanky, little own yell at him... but he did
overtake a really old man in one of those electric cart thingos.. being
nice, spanky said "Alright mate?" as he went past on the footpath - the
old guy really lit up and gave spanky a complete serve! Spanky slowed
down for a few seconds to see if the old guy would calm down. No! Now
spanky thinks -> Old people are cool...
10/ What are you on and where can we buy it?
Homebrew beer, current batch aint too good, only 40 more bottles to
empty.... new batch down now. Everyone should try brewing beer. So much
fun. Then you drink it.. so much drunk.
11/ Highest speed you've reached in a car?
160km/h on a Dutch autobahn, in a VW golf with 6 people in it... been
much much faster on motorcycles... much faster... have just given up the
motorcycles...and sold it to buy spanky another pushbike...
12/ Your worst alcohol related experience?
As a piglet, got into a litre bottle of Malibu rum, a bottle of midori,
and a box of cigars... still to this day, the smell of coconut oil, an
over ripe watermellon or a filthy cheap cuban can get the dry retched
going..almost 20 years later. So kiddies... choose the alcohol you don't
like to get drunk on...
Almost everytime we go drinking... so many times spent in gardens
sleeping it off till the trains start running again the next morning..
or in a karaoke bar... love those 3am karaoke spells. Working in a
university means there's usually drinks at work, work desk has half a
bottle of chivas regal on it... and a tank of crayfish.... and lots of
toys.... yeah.. work.
13/ If you could travel to anywhere on earth where would you go?
Spanky so wants to go to south america... Oh god that place looks the
sh*t... they know how to eat, party, party, and eat.. The Mardi Gra over
there - :) looks good. Scotland (again, if they'll let spanky back
in)... Tasmania, never been there...
14/ Who will win the world champs at Stromlo?
Spanky really would love for Sam Hill to win it... but with all that
peddling at Stromlo.. ummm, no. probably Minaar or steve peat
15/ Will you be at the world champs?
????????? Not sure yet... will have to leave that decision till the last
minute unfortunately... it really does depend on work.
16/ The best prank you've ever pulled?
Not sure if it's spankys best.. but there's currently a student who
cannot understand how both their index fingers are turning bright
blue... Spankys gone through a box of gloves and put a fairly colourless
powder that turns royal blue when it comes in contact with moisture in
the tip of the index finger...Oh, and it stains protein.. like, say...
finger nails. Spanky doesnt wear that size gloves... HA!
That'll do pig, That'll do.