Happy mental health week
I'll add my story. I suffer from generalised anxiety disorder. A dysfunctional family growing up and the reasonably traumatic births of my children (and subsequent broken sleep) all added up to a bit of a break down. I had chronic insomnia and some fearsome social anxiety and I was very very agitated (and unpleasant) all the time.
Even before the breakdown I had been getting some therapy with a psychologist. We'd been trying conservative therapies like cognitive behaviour therapy, sleep hygiene management, healthy eating, exercise, schema therapy, melatonin, benzodiazepines and I was also trying meditation. Some of this helped a little, but until I started medication (SSRIs) it didn't really make much of a dent. My personal insight is that meditation really does not work if you have strong and pernicious anxiety - it makes it worse! I already ate reasonably healthy, exercise enough and I don't really drink much alcohol, so upping those had absolutely no impact (exercising more just made me more anxious - how to fit it all in one day??? Needing to be super organised is exhausting).
The final straw was when I told my 'friends' that I was sick. One of them (who had been my friend for many years) actually told me that they couldn't be nice to me anymore. That stung a lot. It precipitated a mini break down and started me on the meds. And they are not my friends anymore.
The difference with the medication is amazing. I don't feel any different, but it is like the weight of worry has just gone. Disappeared. When I do meditation it actually works! I've been on the meds for most of the year and I am in no hurry to get off. I am enjoying, for the first time in years, peace and serenity. My plan is to build my supports while I am on the meds and eventually go off them in a year...or two. In some ways I am like "why didn't I go on the drugs sooner?" but I am also glad I tried the conservative methods first. You don't know if they will work until you try them.
The SSRIs have some weird side effects. I yawn all the time. I yawned so much I even started hyperventilating (I even went to the doctor and got my lungs x-rayed because I couldn't catch my breath!). I have also put on some weight, but that may have more to do with the proximity of accessible chocolate in my office
Meh. I don't care. My riding has vastly improved as now I just don't worry as much. Lol. And now I am spectacular at heights, where once I was quite timid - I'm not reckless, just not excessively worried.
I visit the doctor and the psychologist reasonably regularly to check in and my partner is very supportive.