Never seen that page before, f'ing hilarious. Not surprised to see so many idiots crashing their cars. Been in the nasho many times and it never ceases to amaze me the idiots who treat it as a race track, even during the day.
Just a thought. Have you checked that the base of the battery isn't also connected to the negative. If you have a multimeter do a voltage test with the negative lead on the base and see if it is connected.