Blondeness

Arete

Likes Dirt
My ex was blonde and we were walking up the dodgy tunnel the end of Broadway (in Sydney) one night and this seedy dealer guy came up to us:
Dealer: "Hey, want two trips for $30?"
Blonde ex: "Where to?"
Me: Raucous laughter.
The dealer got scared and ran away.

Also, in my first year biology prac we were doing that swab the inside of your mouth and look at the cells under a microscope experiment, and a blonde up the back of the lab put her hand up and called the professor over.
Blonde: "What's that wiggly one there"
Professor:"That, my dear is a sperm cell. Did you enjoy your lunch break?"
She ran out of the lab and I never saw her again.
 

nick

Likes Dirt
Arete said:
My ex was blonde and we were walking up the dodgy tunnel the end of Broadway (in Sydney) one night and this seedy dealer guy came up to us:
Dealer: "Hey, want two trips for $30?"
Blonde ex: "Where to?"
Me: Raucous laughter.
The dealer got scared and ran away.

Also, in my first year biology prac we were doing that swab the inside of your mouth and look at the cells under a microscope experiment, and a blonde up the back of the lab put her hand up and called the professor over.
Blonde: "What's that wiggly one there"
Professor:"That, my dear is a sperm cell. Did you enjoy your lunch break?"
She ran out of the lab and I never saw her again.
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha these are absolute pissers keep em coming :D
 

mattydownhiller

Likes Dirt
nick said:
Arete said:
My ex was blonde and we were walking up the dodgy tunnel the end of Broadway (in Sydney) one night and this seedy dealer guy came up to us:
Dealer: "Hey, want two trips for $30?"
Blonde ex: "Where to?"
Me: Raucous laughter.
The dealer got scared and ran away.

Also, in my first year biology prac we were doing that swab the inside of your mouth and look at the cells under a microscope experiment, and a blonde up the back of the lab put her hand up and called the professor over.
Blonde: "What's that wiggly one there"
Professor:"That, my dear is a sperm cell. Did you enjoy your lunch break?"
She ran out of the lab and I never saw her again.
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha these are absolute pissers keep em coming :D
now thats golden
 

RCOH

Eats Squid
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?" "No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"So then?" "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
 

tu plang

knob
Arete said:
Also, in my first year biology prac we were doing that swab the inside of your mouth and look at the cells under a microscope experiment, and a blonde up the back of the lab put her hand up and called the professor over.
Blonde: "What's that wiggly one there"
Professor:"That, my dear is a sperm cell. Did you enjoy your lunch break?"
She ran out of the lab and I never saw her again.
 

fatkat

Likes Dirt
donthucktoflat said:
a professor was telling his science class about substances that contain glucose and at the top of his list of glucose strength was semen. a blonde at the back of the room piped up and said
"well why doesn't it taste sweet then?"
immediately realising what she'd just said she went bright red and picked up her book and left the room. just as she was leaving, and with a totally straight face the professor replied
"because the taste receptors for sweet things are at the tip of your tongue, not at the back of your throat"

GOLD
actually- that exact situation happened in one of my friends classes at school... so that is actually a true story!!!
she was the class slut aswell!! hahaha so hilarious
 

tu plang

knob
fatkat said:
donthucktoflat said:
a professor was telling his science class about substances that contain glucose and at the top of his list of glucose strength was semen. a blonde at the back of the room piped up and said
"well why doesn't it taste sweet then?"
immediately realising what she'd just said she went bright red and picked up her book and left the room. just as she was leaving, and with a totally straight face the professor replied
"because the taste receptors for sweet things are at the tip of your tongue, not at the back of your throat"

GOLD
actually- that exact situation happened in one of my friends classes at school... so that is actually a true story!!!
she was the class slut aswell!! hahaha so hilarious
... so you didnt witness it... and then along came somebody else with the exact same story... coincidence?

as funny as the story is...
 

fatkat

Likes Dirt
no i didnt witness it but an entire class did- but she didnt get up and leave straight away.. the teacher just said it to her quietly when the bell rang.
 

cheese

Likes Dirt
Here's my favourite.

There was a man driving along a country road when he saw a blonde standing in a field. As he drove past he slowed and said out the window "Excuse me, what are you doing?". The blonde replys "trying to win a Nobel prize", "A nobel prize?" says the man in the car. The blonde says "yes, I heard that to get one you had to be outstanding in your field".
 

W2ttsy

Likes Dirt
i was at the dodgy hungry jacks on the weekend, and there was this blond behind the counter. i sware she was being paid just to smile and stare into thin air.

:roll:

W2ttsy
 

W2ttsy

Likes Dirt
or trainees.

none of the people there knew what was going on. and there were like 5 people serving each customer. i shit you not.

i had a 1 person take my order, then another fill my coke cup, then another put the burger on the tray, then someone did my chips and then someone else handed me the tray.

blah, thats launceston for you.

W2ttsy
 

Arete

Likes Dirt
tu plang said:
Arete said:
Also, in my first year biology prac we were doing that swab the inside of your mouth and look at the cells under a microscope experiment, and a blonde up the back of the lab put her hand up and called the professor over.
Blonde: "What's that wiggly one there"
Professor:"That, my dear is a sperm cell. Did you enjoy your lunch break?"
She ran out of the lab and I never saw her again.
Actually, when your biology professor is one one Australia's leading experts on human mating behavior (Dr David Briscoe), a lot of stuff like this goes on
 

sich nich

Likes Dirt
blonde is taking a nice drive thru the countryside, on a sunday afternoon, enjoying the company of no one but the radio.
she notices in the paddock next to her, way out in the canola, another blonde in a boat, furiously rowing her way to no where.
immediatley, the blonde driving the car slows and pulls over.
"oi!" she yells out. "WTF are u doing u idiot!?"
the blonde in the boat cries back, short of breath, "i'm rowing goddammit, deerr!"
dumbfounded, the driver blonde yells back,
"but ur in the bloody paddock! how the hell do u propose to get anywhere in that damn boat? Its dickheads like u that give us blondes a bad name! Jeez! If i could swim id get out there and kick ur ass!"
 

Arete

Likes Dirt
Yeah, try 1st year anatomy. About 60% female, 480 18/19 year olds in the same lecture theatre...all learning human anatomy... that was the class it was in.
 

Bonnet

Likes Dirt
Arete said:
Yeah, try 1st year anatomy. About 60% female, 480 18/19 year olds in the same lecture theatre...all learning human anatomy... that was the class it was in.
mate, Tourism Management.

70/30 chicks/guys

field trip to Rottnest island

Bikinis

Beach all day

no work

me = :lol:

'nuff said
 
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