Confessions from the fuckwits
- Thread starter moorey
- Start date
Oddjob
Merry fucking Xmas to you assholes
Bah, don't flatter yourself. Everyone knows that story.
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pink poodle
気が狂っている男
silentbutdeadly
has some good things to say
Zero to RB Hero in just one post...fuck I laughed.
hifiandmtb
Sphincter beanie
Went for the first ride in six weeks after FUBARing my shoulder. Bike was rather non-plush, photographic proof that I had the fork locked out the whole ride (took random bike photo halfway along).
Found it locked out at the end, but assumed I’d *just* fiddled with it:
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Found it locked out at the end, but assumed I’d *just* fiddled with it:
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Not mtb related but worthy I think .. This morning my kids are cleaning their teeth and step on the drain cover which is old and a bit fragile , it snaps and a piece falls in and they run out to tell me freaking out the drain will get clogged .
No worries , I'm pretty lean , ill just reach in and grab the missing peice before it floats away - arm goes in no problem , its deeper than it looks , nek minit stuck to bathroom floor and can't reach peice or get my fkin arm outta the drain ...
Shit I'm thinking fire brigade / hammer drills etc - oh well at least I'm not one of those people with a phone stuck up my arse I console myself .
I get my son to grab some dish washing liquid and water and viola - I'm saved from further humiliation ! Fkn sweet .
Phew - what a fuckwit . My Sunday morning brain didn't think that through at all ... Anyhoo I'm fine , just a bit of a red face and elbow
Ultra Lord
Hurts. Requires Money. And is nerdy.
thanks for the laugh dude, thats hilarious.
Now we need to teach the kids camera first, help second.
Now we need to teach the kids camera first, help second.
Spike-X
Grumpy Old Sarah
Working on a friend's bike, removing the stem and bars to replace with spares of mine because hers are those narrow scooter bars from twenty years ago (bar ends and all!).
Bike's on the stand, I loosen the stem, pull it off, and am startled as hell to see the fork and front wheel drop out of the bike and hang there from the front brake cable because I've only been working on bikes for three and a half decades and apparently know nothing.
Bike's on the stand, I loosen the stem, pull it off, and am startled as hell to see the fork and front wheel drop out of the bike and hang there from the front brake cable because I've only been working on bikes for three and a half decades and apparently know nothing.
Plankosaurus
Spongeplank Dalepantski
Was loading the bike up yesterday for a ride and when I lifted it the front wheel spun a little and I heard a "ting" from the rotor fouling the caliper. I'll be stuffed if I'm listening to that for two hours so I lifted the front wheel for a better listen/look and spun the wheel.
I'm not sure what my brain was thinking when it sent my hand down towards the rotor to feel what I could hear and see, but send it down I did. The ting ting ting was suddenly stopped and replaced with some colourful language as I splattered blood all over the bike from the new slice in my thumb. Yep, confirmed what most people inherently know - don't stop a moving rotor by sticking an appendage between the rotor and the caliper.
...my brain is a dickhead
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I'm not sure what my brain was thinking when it sent my hand down towards the rotor to feel what I could hear and see, but send it down I did. The ting ting ting was suddenly stopped and replaced with some colourful language as I splattered blood all over the bike from the new slice in my thumb. Yep, confirmed what most people inherently know - don't stop a moving rotor by sticking an appendage between the rotor and the caliper.
...my brain is a dickhead
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ianganderton
Likes Dirt
I kinda knew that was coming but didn’t want to read it but couldn’t help myself
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stirk
Burner
Bikes blooded now, will you call it Christine?
safreek
*******
pink poodle
気が狂っている男
So much ouch with that one!
link1896
Mr Greenfield
Stumpy, was it a left or right brain failure?
Plankosaurus
Spongeplank Dalepantski
Yup, still tingly and slightly numb. Two big slices through the width of my thumb and a nice dent in my thumbnail.
Worth it though, the rubbing disc would have driven me insane
Between the two sides they couldn't stop me sticking my thumb in a place a thumb shouldn't go, I'd call them both failures.
Would this be a good time to admit this isn't the first time I've learnt this particular lesson? My old a2z sawblade rotors did an extremely good job of removing a chunk of flesh from a finger a few years back.
...my brain is a dickhead
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pink poodle
気が狂っている男
It sounds like you need to lay down on the lounge, shelve a few endone, and reinstall your brain overnight.
cokeonspecialtwodollars
Fartes of Portingale
......downloading _brain_rev6.4.0
......error _brain_rev6.4.0 file is corrupted