Confessions from the fuckwits

Z

Zaf

Guest
Oddjob said:
Why not just unlace the front rim which I assume is symmetrical and put it on the rear. Then wack the asymmetric on the front. Ok you need new spokes, but the current spokes are a sunk cost anyway.

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The front is a W33i (28h drilling) and a 33mm internal.
The rear rim is a W30, which has a 24.7mm internal and 32h drilling.

TBH, it's a very small offset in the rim profile, and the hub flanges are so ridiculously wide given that it's a boosted single speed. I think having mismatched rims would bother me more at this point than the minor dishing it would take to make these work, that will still produce a ridiculously strong wheel; or more accurately, the offset will build an indistinguishably "weaker" wheel.

I'd rather spend the money on other suspension stuff for the build at this point, than any more wheelsets, so I'll likely live with it and be happy.
 
Oddjob

Oddjob

Merry fucking Xmas to you assholes
I think your inner ocd is broken. Just reading your description of the mismatched rims made me a bit ill. 28h and 32h on the same bike wtf?

Running non boost Hope hubs in a boost bike with spacers is the best setup for ocd types. The flanges end up being equidistant from the centreline and allow you to run a single length spoke front and back on non-offset rims. The tension differential side to side also comes within 80%.

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Z

Zaf

Guest
Oddjob said:
I think your inner ocd is broken. Just reading your description of the mismatched rims made me a bit ill. 28h and 32h on the same bike wtf?

Running non boost Hope hubs in a boost bike with spacers is the best setup for ocd types. The flanges end up being equidistant from the centreline and allow you to run a single length spoke front and back on non-offset rims. The tension differential side to side also comes within 80%.

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That's normal, mismatching spoke count.
I think, put simply, mismatching rim brand would annoy me more than running 95% same tensions on a boosted single speed hub.

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Oddjob

Oddjob

Merry fucking Xmas to you assholes
Different spoke counts, different rim brands? Get away with your devil talk!

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Z

Zaf

Guest
Oddjob said:
Different spoke counts, different rim brands? Get away with your devil talk!

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No no, if I continue with the asymmetric rim, I keep brand matched.

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Minlak

Minlak

custom titis
Ok Gentleman it has take a week and a couple of days but I think I am ready to tell the tale of the "Cut Finger".
Short version my wife almost took the top of my finger on a recent hunting trip the long version below is far more humiliating and hilarious.

Sit back grab a beer and read on.....
Around nine months ago I had gastric bypass surgery (makes you lose massive weight and not be able to put it back on) and since the operation certain foods now go straight through me in a very runny consistency and with some urgency. There is very little warning on what is called "Dumping" and is a side effect of the operation. The challenge is sometimes the foods are perfectly fine and others not so much. So with the preface taken care of let the frivolity begin.

We were camped 100km's from the nearest town out past Mitchell in Queensland on a hunting trip on a 40,000 acre property. We had set up an ensuite and used a 20 litre bucket, lined with plastic garbage bags and a pool noodle on it as a toilet. This was housed in an ensuite tent on one side and shower on the other. We had an Up & Go for breakfast as it is a good source of protein and energy and as we were heading out from camp at daylight it was quick and easy. After 3hrs ish of hunting we returned to camp for some proper breakfast and refresh and this is when it all went pear shaped.

As I exited the vehicle I was struck with a very sudden urge to go to the toilet and made straight for the ensuite. The ensuite is zippered closed (to keep snakes out and has mesh flooring) as I undid the lower half of the zipper my bowels vacated into my pants before I had removed them (I shit my pants). Not wanting to make a mess in the ensuite as we have a limited water supply on board I asked my wife to assist. She removed the bucket (toilet) from the ensuite and placed it the middle of the paddock. Not wanting to get poo any where else or on anything else I pulled down my pants and lowered my underpants to mid thigh and sat on the toilet.

If you have read this far you and not turned away disgusted then here is your reward.

Not wanting to make more mess than I had already I decided that cutting the underpants off and throwing them away was the best course of action. Thus I asked my wife to go and find a pair of scissors to cut said underpants. Wife was unable to locate scissors (she should of looked in the first aid kit as were just about to discover it holds scissors) so I suggested "Just get your knife" so she did. Now gentle reader you need to understand I take particular pride in my hunting knives and the one I had ordained her to carry in the field was my Benchmade Skinning Knife. An extremely sharp high quality knife. There I am sitting with my underpants stretched between my thighs with a payload of poo awaiting the ceremonial cutting of the ribbon.

Now some of you may be a lot smarter then me and realised already what occurs when you cut elastic? Caught on yet? Yup that is right as the elastic beside the right leg was cut the underpants flung across to left leg slapping against my left inner thigh and covering my thigh in the aforementioned poo. Now I start making ewww / squealing sounds and knife safety seems to have gone out the window and the wife tries to help only managing to slash my left ring finger to the bone.

After fetching a bandaid from the first aid kit (and discovering the scissors) I look down to see a 10cm round pool of blood and more blood streaming from my finger. Now I am perfectly fine with other peoples injuries however personal injuries of a severe nature tend to result in fainting. So I was not looking closely at the wound until the original source of the wound was addressed.

Easter weekend 200 kms from the nearest medical attention we just made do with the first aid kit on hand. It took 4 days for the blood to completely stop coming out. About 3hrs later we were driving the paddocks again when I burst out laughing thinking about if some one was to discover the plastic garbage back bag at camp with cut undies, shit and blood all through it.
 
Mica

Mica

Likes Dirt
Sounds like you had a real shit time...sorry couldn’t resist. I kind of think that post deserves a whole new thread.
 
Mr Crudley

Mr Crudley

Glock in your sock
Mrs Minlak is excellent to put up with this prize winning fiasco.

Geee, she is a keeper even if she laughed in your time of need covered in your own crap, underwear at half mast with half a finger left swinging in the air.

Hope you are all recovered both physically and mentally.

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downunderdallas

downunderdallas

Likes Bikes and Dirt
That is all time fantastic!! I was laughing so hard my son made me read it out loud. He said it sounds like you are about to poo your own pants!!
 
Mr Crudley

Mr Crudley

Glock in your sock
A worthy effort but big call. Surely there is no pinnacle for fuckwittery.

It is human nature to outdo each other with unlimited capacity to do it. Just when you think it can't be topped then someone comes along and says 'Ha, let me tell you about.....'

It would be wrong to ruin someones future efforts.

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moorey

moorey

call me Mia
Mr Crudley said:
A worthy effort but big call. Surely there is no pinnacle for fuckwittery.

It is human nature to outdo each other with unlimited capacity to do it. Just when you think it can't be topped then someone comes along and says 'Ha, let me tell you about.....'

It would be wrong to ruin someones future efforts.

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Start your own thread. You can call it ‘the also rans’
 
link1896

link1896

Mr Greenfield
Good luck at Christmas dinner Minlak when your wife retells the story for the 47th time. She's a keeper for sure.

"No wait, wait, fucking shut up and listen, it gets better....."

Not many stories are going to top this one that aren't covered by doctor/patient confidentiality laws.
 
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