Confessions from the fuckwits

Pastavore

Eats Squid
Glad I can brighten someones day.

I'll make it work ;) Will post photos of Ghetto-spec 3900 when I finish moving house (and ghetto-speccing my bike)
Oooh, I'm looking forward to this one! I am envisaging a a handlebar complete with 2 sets of brake levers, the integrated ones with the cables removed flapping happily under the (typically appalling) avids.
 

kwikee

Likes Dirt
Oooh, I'm looking forward to this one! I am envisaging a a handlebar complete with 2 sets of brake levers, the integrated ones with the cables removed flapping happily under the (typically appalling) avids.
Hacksaw and gaffer tape. Oh, and tie wire.
 

schred

Likes Bikes and Dirt
mail ordered parts incl chain for commuter, measured chain, installed chain, new chain was sticking, POS should have got XT, lubed chain, was better but still couldn't dial out the weird shifting, was an 8 spd chain on 10sp setup.
 

beejay

Likes Dirt
Borrowed a mates bike for a friend, seat post was too high so loosened the seat clamp bolt only to find the seat post stuck hard? Pulled, pushed, swore with no luck. Friend rode the 20km loop of davies creek with a seat that was.... well let's just say uncomfortably to high (what a trooper) only to realise the next morning that it was a "twin" bolt seat clamp!!!!! I'd only loosened one side :der:

Me=fuckwit
 
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foxpuppet

Eats Squid
Confessions from the fuck wits

Just drove 45 minutes between jobs to go for a quick bash on the Serrata trail. I get my bike out of the van & notice a little movement in the front wheel as I put it on the ground. Grab the rim and give it a little bit of side to side jiggle and there is definitely play coming from the hub. I'm not far from LBS so I figure I'll ride the trail anyway and see how it goes and head over there if it gets worse.

Whole ride the wheel is pinging off rocks and moving side to side, braking is a bit weird but I persevere. 2 laps and call it done.

Get back to van try calling LBS to see if they can help, phone engaged.

Jump online searching for Hope EVO pro 2 blah blah, find thread running through things like bearing toasted, hub body worn or Cracked, thinking great this is gonna cost me.

See reply in thread

"have you tried tightening maxle?"


ImageUploadedByTapatalk1417741848.555352.jpg
 
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Diablo

Squid
Figured seeing as i was out for a solo ride this afternoon and no one was there to see my fuckwittedry....... i would share.

Have some hills behind where i live i ride as regularly as i can. Think fire trails, with some particularly steep sections, loose off camber corners, and well rutted (found that out the hard way a couple of months ago with an OTB moment) with large loose rocks, and little to no real grip.

Ok, so i have recently got some SPD pedals and shoes. im sure you can all see where this is going but bare with me. This isn't quite my first rodeo so to speak, I rode some of the trails on the weekend and had no problems (a few close calls though) and spent a while last week in my street playing around clipping in and out.

So i got home from work early this afternoon and decided to get a quick ride in. All was going well, until i got to a particularly steep section and thought i would be able to get up a little further before i had to walk it. well one loose rock later, and ever so slowly i was rolling over. must have panicked as i'm pretty sure i tried every which way to get unclipped i could, other than the correct one. So extremely ungracefully i find myself lying in the rocks with the bike on top of me.

Shaken, not stirred, i wasn't about to let it beat me, and persevered up the hill. was a good ride through the flatter trails. then i found myself at a nasty down hill section. I had that voice in the back of my head telling me clipped in was not a good idea, but hell, i know how to unclip, not going to make that mistake again..... well i did. haven't been down this little trail in a while, let alone since all the recent rain dug out the ruts even more. so i head down, rear wheel locked up most of the time, front boarding on locking up, just trying to control my speed, being as cautions as i can. then there is a bit of a drop, so have no choice but to left go of the front anchors and pick up a bit of speed to get through..... somehow im making it down, but with increased speed which i cant do anything about. well the choice of bad and worse ruts coming up fixed that. being spat off the bike with it still attached is a new experience, and again i have all the grace of a a bag of bricks). thankfully i landed on my side and came unclipped. bike was unharmed (landed on me first i think). few more scratches, but all good. Phew, that could have been worse. starting to think i should have had my flats on now... but nearly ad the bottom of this section so onward i go. its all pretty easy from here on.

as the trail flattens out a little get some good speed up and enjoy hitting the large tree roots and getting some air, then im back in my little subdivision. down the last little gravel section i go. well with all the recent rain the developer or council has been in and changed the little stream at the bottom i like to gap. wider, deeper, and steep blue metal gravel sides. probably would have been all right with a little more speed, but didn't carry enough in, and slowed down in the loose rock coming out too much. cue panic, and slow motion fall onto the same side as the two previous times.

so hopefully someone gets a laugh out of my misfortune. pretty good effort i reckon.
 

moorey

call me Mia
Long time burner, first time fuckwit..

Bought JTMofo's sweet spitfire frame and dropper. Box arrived this morning. Had to leave it in my ute in town all day while at work. Fickwit.

Anyhoo, got it home, kids excitedly helped me unpack everything.
Mainframe. Check.
Rear triangle. Check.
Box of dropouts and chips. Check.
Spare hanger. Nice bonus. Check.
Dropper. Dropper....dropper... Dammit, no dropper.

C'n'P of convo with Johnny:

Gday Johnny, quick Q...dropper post? Wasn't in the box with the spitty.
Did I miss something?
Spitty looks great btw, can't wait to build.
Cheers.
Moorey

Fucking joking me? It was wrapped in cardboard with the cable attached! Was the niner box open or anything? I wrapped the box up in film at taped the shit outta it too.

Box intact, not in there. Didn't leave it at the PO or something? Boxes with the dropouts and chips etc in there. Hadn't been opened.

It was wrapped up separate to the frame but in the same niner box. The 2 dropout boxes were taped together, and dropper was on its own. I'll check at home but I'm 100% I was in the box. I packaged everything up on my balcony so if it's not sent then it's out there.

Was sorta hoping to hear, "fuck, here it is, on the work bench...."
Doh.


I'm out now, I'll be home in 10 and double check.

No worries man...hope the see this end up in the fuckwits thread.....

Me too.....Just checked everywhere it could be, which isn't hard coz I live in a 1 bed apartment. U 100% sure it's not hanging about in the packaging somewhere? I compressed it down and slid it in with the 2 dropout boxes so I'll will be shorter than expected.

Off to the fuckwit thread I go. My kids had helped unwrap/unpack and musta sat it in the pantry.....
Measure twice, cut once.
Doh.

Ah thank Fuck. Glad ur happy with the frame, it'll be an awesome build. Now...off to fuckwits...ya fucking fuckwit!
 

marc.r

Likes Dirt
had an early finish from work. its nice and cool out and i was gaggin for a quick spin.

filled my camelback. got dressed and ready. checked tyre pressure.

started walking out the door and realised I left my shoes and helmet in my mrs car, dont worry I have an old pair... cant find them so call the mrs... hey they are in the car too!... FUCCC she doesnt get home till 10pm tonight. considered ridding with joggers and cross fingers for grips on the spds but that would remove all possible enjoyment everytime i slipped off the pedals and cut up my shins....just like it did last time I drove 3 hours to spend the day ridding stromlo and forgot my shoes.

:-(
 

Minlak

custom titis
Road two hours today thinking my rear shock needs a service as there was a bit of a bumpy feel when pedalling seemed to be when the shock would be compressing. Got home and something didn't feel right so wiggled the back wheel it seems the Maxle wasn't done up tight enough. It was by like a quarter of a turn feels too tight to close it off now. Hope I haven't broken something :(
 

moorey

call me Mia
Road two hours today thinking my rear shock needs a service as there was a bit of a bumpy feel when pedalling seemed to be when the shock would be compressing. Got home and something didn't feel right so wiggled the back wheel it seems the Maxle wasn't done up tight enough. It was by like a quarter of a turn feels too tight to close it off now. Hope I haven't broken something :(
Pfft. Blame JTMofo. He's as shady as the Black Forest.
 

JTmofo

XC Enthusiast
Pfft. Blame JTMofo. He's as shady as the Black Forest.
Hahaha Moorey.... I think you should start a fuckwit thread all of your own.....

Had me running around like a tit looking for something that was on your kitchen table. Thought I was going mad!!!

Advice to anyone selling to Mr McFuckwit himself.... Get photographic evidence of everything you put in the box.... Or else he'll swear blind it's not in there!
 

nitro01

Likes Dirt
Farkwit of the week could quite possibly go to me

So long story short, seat on the Makulu was a bit gnarly and ripped up so I'd thought I'd go get a new one. Got it on the post alright, tightened it up lovely juvely, looks real noice.

Go to adjust the height of said post so it doesn't rip the nice new seat up and as I'm tightening the clamp with a torque wrench, 5nm and PING, bolt snaps in half and flies out at a gazillion miles an hour and wallops my arm :(

Go and get a new QR seat clamp from the LBS and as I finally sort the height out I wonder why the post itself is so loose in the frame

OH YOU FARKWIT PREVIOUS OWNER

Too small of a post in the frame, and bolt in old seat clamp had been overtightened so that's why it snapped! :frusty::frusty:

I has shiny new black post with shiny new black and red seat attached to it and a shiny black quick release collar holding it all together.... :) bout time too.
 
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