Hey
@Minlak crashing sucks but I have to say I reckon it partly did what you wanted it to, that is distract you from whatever you were thinking, if only for a few seconds/minutes (I'm writing this as I watch and I just see you have recognised this already).
It sounded to me like you were trying to achieve some riding zen, personally I've achieved that zen whenever I have pushed myself closer to my limits, nothing else enters the mind and the focus is on riding, afterwards I come away with a revived feeling. I think riding closer to your limit forces you to focus on nothing else, so maybe I'll disagree with you slightly on how to achieve zen. Talking to the camera is distraction from riding so it might be difficult to achieve the zen you are after if you feel compelled to commentate, I venture that it may even be distracting enough that it has influenced the theme in your videos. When riding with mates, we only really have conversations on the ascents and save the focus for riding on the descents (apart from the odd woot).
Also I reckon Strava PBs are only one small marker of success. Other markers (in no particular order) are: riding sections cleanly without dabbing a foot, going back and redoing a section until you ride it cleanly, achieving a feeling of flow where you know the trail enough so you can smoothly transition from one obstacle to the next, coming away feeling good from a ride (having achieved some zen), riding with old mates, riding with new mates, just riding...