From your perspective, is this okay?

[Pebble]

I've no idea about menopause. I'm married with two kids and almost 33, from what you posted in the first post my initial thought was that it doesn't sound normal at all.
If it was happening like once or twice a month I'd have put it down to "hormonal" moments. I know I can sometimes feel well you could say depressed I guess. Life might be perfect...you know nice house, 2 kids, loving husband but for no particular reason I can feel like I'm a bad mother, useless person or whatever...just a bad state of mind, get emotional or unhappy with life in general, but this sort of thing doesn't last long and there's the up side when you feel on top of the world for no reason at all!!

If she's been like that all the time then something isn't right, from OCD to hormonal imbalances to maybe some kind of vitamin deficiency. I would be consulting a doctor if you're really worried. I guess the hardest thing will be trying to talk to your Wife about it in the right way.

 

[nathanm]

As has been stated you seriously need to see a relationship counsellor. I've been with my wife for over half my life 17+ years and have a 4 year old.

After the birth of my daughter things went really pear shaped with our marriage and after nearly 4 years we were ready to split and I pretty much hated her.

With the help of counselling we've been able to start reparing our marriage. However some of the issue's you talk about certainly point to more serious issues.

You've got to think about your child most of all is this the environment you want them to grow up in and how long can you go on for being treated that way.

It's hard but you have to make big decisions sooner rather than later. Good luck.

 

[workmx]

Thanks to everyone for your comments.

Vi, you raised some ideas that are useful.

The behaviour increased after our daughter was born.

It was horrific: 33 hour labour and a 3B tear.

Neither of us slept, ate or drank in that time.

My wife almost died, she lost so much blood.

A 3.5kg overdue baby in a 42kg body just doesn't work.

 

[indica]

Wow.
Just to reiterate that it is not normal, but I guess you know that.
Professional help is where it is at.

 

[Nerf Herder]

Thats sad ... just remember the woman you fell in love with, got married to and had a child with ... then fight the power and get some form of professional help. Good luck Dood.

p.s the Ladies on here know shizzle aye:cheer2:

 

[0psi]

That's crazyness man.

I'd say it's not 'normal' but probably just an outlet for some other issue she has, probably one that even she doesn't know about, which is entirely normal.

I was extremely depressed a few years back and didn't really know about it. I basically went nuts and partied non-stop, drank enough to kill a small African nation and kept the drug cartels driving Ferraris. I thought I was living life but looking back it was just a self destructive pattern brought on by being depressed, obvious to everyone but myself. Still to this day I don't know what that was all. Fortunately for me I woke up one morning and thought what the hell am I doing? This isn't me, I should be out riding bikes and stuff, not sitting on the couch nursing a hang over.

Your wife may not be so fortunate and could go for years either suppressing something or not knowing that there's anything there at all. It's probably nothing that can't be worked through it's just staying sane and supportive while you work it out that's the trick. Like has already been mentioned, there's a girl somewhere in there that you fell in love with enough to marry, now she needs a little help and support from her husband to get through some shit. Good luck mate.

 

[RJS]

Professional Help

Hi Mate

If you are looking at professionals, check to see if your work has access to counselling service. For example government workers get psychological services through Davidson Trahaire, you being in Canberra means you may be a government worker. Also some unions / professional associations provide similar access to counselling services.

Nothing to add to the ladies comments but good luck as your current situation seems difficult and unsustainable.

RJS