Funny stuff my kid says

link1896

Mr Greenfield
I think my 5 year old daughter would fit right in on Rotorburn.

Would you like to go to Auntie Freddy's and ride scooters in the street?

Yes. I will take my scooter.
And my white bike.
And my purple bike.
I will be changing my bikes.
Just wait till you hear “why don’t I have a carbon fibre bike daddy?”

or as I did “my daddy is buying me a carbon fibre bike for my 10th birthday”.
 

DMan

shawly the least hangeriest guy on rotorburn
Just wait till you hear “why don’t I have a carbon fibre bike daddy?”

or as I did “my daddy is buying me a carbon fibre bike for my 10th birthday”.
You're a good Daddy! Better have carbon wheels too for good measure...
 

mas2

Likes Bikes and Dirt
Just got reminded of this one:

When my youngest was about 6 years old he saw an ad on TV for the RSPCA.
He yelled out for me to come and see it because it had his favourite pet on it that he has aaaalllllllllways wanted.
The next day we were watching the tv and the ad came on and he excitedly pointed which one it was.

It was a dachshund in a wheelchair.
 

cammas

Seamstress
So this afternoon I walked out the front door with my grandson and his cousin, my granddaughter, who is all of two turned around after the front door shut and muttered “Fucking Pa” apparently she was not impressed that she stayed inside and didn’t get to walk out with me.
 

ausdb

Being who he is
So this afternoon I walked out the front door with my grandson and his cousin, my granddaughter, who is all of two turned around after the front door shut and muttered “Fucking Pa” apparently she was not impressed that she stayed inside and didn’t get to walk out with me.
Thats like the little kid and the Fucking goat on YT
 

cammas

Seamstress
I had to chuckle when the daughter-in-law told me, at least it was in the right context and she is this tiny little girl but must be hanging out with her dad too much in the shed when he’s working on things.
 

Switch

huskier headed gent
Having a shower the other morning and 5yr old son walks in;

Wow, you've got a big willy Dad
I'm playing basketball
I like your big willy, bye!

If only his mother thought the same way, and didn't know the truth of the situation ;) :D
 
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LPG

likes thicc birds
My little one has demonstrated he is a sponge for words. At ~15 months old when he was just getting the hang of saying some basic words and colours I caught him rifling through "the" bedside table drawer and pulling something pink out. Knowing my wife was walking in the room and happy to stir things up I use it as a learning opportunity and say "Pink Dildo". I get scolded and have a laugh and promise I won't do it again. Surely he won't remember, it was only once...

Fast forward 6 months and fortunately he got over going through every drawer fairly quickly. We were unsuccessful trying to get him to nap and he goes to the drawer and pulls something out from the back and screams " PINK DILDO" with the proudest look on his face. Tonight (3 months on) he wanders into the spare room and comes out proudly shouting " purple dildo" before using it like a phone; "hello".

We really don't have a house littered with sex toys, we have just managed to raise a child with a real nack for finding and identifying them. One day we will be visiting someone and he will seriously embarass them.
 
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