Funny stuff my kid says

[Plankosaurus]

You forgot the bit about lighting farts.

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My ibs makes me godlike at this

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[mas2]

Conversation with my 6 year old.

Him: "You know those, like, shoes on the bike?"
Me: "You mean tyres?"
Him: "Yeh those"

 

[Art Vanderlay]

"Dad, whats the worst thing you ever did as a kid?"......anyone know a good lawyer? Told him I'd think about it and get back to him...

 

[Labcanary]

Mr 5, wearing pretend glasses and holding a clipboard and pen:
"Hmmm, yes, I can't actually read you know"

 

[link1896]

“What’s care free mum” says miss 10 to her mum, as mums cooking dinner, stacking the dish washer and drinking a tee.

The 5 emotions I witnessed via body language in the few moments of silence was golden as she realised the 6yo’s were in ear shot.

 

[sane]

Things I never thought I’d hear my kids say.

Went for a walk with the youngest this arvo and when we got home she was hitting me up for some iPad time. I say, come on, you’ve had enough time on that thing today. She turns to me and says, but dad I haven’t played iPad since the earthquake. Floored

 

[Labcanary]

Mr toddler was sitting at the table saying "Fuck, fuck, fuck". I looked at him and then at Mr 5, who informed me that "He said fuck!"

 

[PJO]

Mr toddler was sitting at the table saying "Fuck, fuck, fuck". I looked at him and then at Mr 5, who informed me that "He said fuck!"

Wonder who taught him that?!

 

[Labcanary]

Wonder who taught him that?!

Definitely Mr Canary. Couldn't be me...

 

[PJO]

Definitely Mr Canary. Couldn't be me...

I though it might have been the guilty conscience of Mr 5

 

[mike14]

Me trying to help the 9 year old with some school work, "c'mon buddy, you know this."
His reply (totally deadpan), "no I don't dad, the education system has failed me..."

No idea where it came from but I couldn't stop laughing for about 5 mins

 

[stirk]

Me trying to help the 9 year old with some school work, "c'mon buddy, you know this."
His reply (totally deadpan), "no I don't dad, the education system has failed me..."

No idea where it came from but I couldn't stop laughing for about 5 mins

For us right now in lockdown us parents are the education system!

The kids school just sent us a recognition award for home schooling efforts, now that made me laugh. I can relate to this.

 

[stirk]

I made a desk for my daughter and it inevitably got drawn on. I've never paid attention to the scribble but saw this and cracked up.

 

[Norco Maniac]

Not what kids say but a grandparenting moment from the weekend - "Wolfgang, don't sit on your brother's head without undies on!"

 

[LPG]

I made a desk for my daughter and it inevitably got drawn on. I've never paid attention to the scribble but saw this and cracked up.

View attachment 381153

Excellent! Can you read/figure out what the arrow is pointing to in the poopers hands?

 

[Chriso_29er]

Excellent! Can you read/figure out what the arrow is pointing to in the poopers hands?

That's the newspaper or magazine right?

 

[LPG]

That's the newspaper or magazine right?

That's what I assume but the note and arrow seem to be calling it something else. Too big to be the phone on rotorburn.

 

[dirtdad]

Kid 1's joke of the day...

Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
WT1 - What sort of music do you like listening to?
WT2 - I'm a big metal fan.

 

[beeb]

Kid 1's joke of the day...

Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
WT1 - What sort of music do you like listening to?
WT2 - I'm a big metal fan.

Techincally incorrect, but I do love a pun!

 

[dirtdad]

Techincally incorrect, but I do love a pun!

Technically
I too love a pun. (Plus, I don't know what % of metal content makes for a metal fan. Is it by weight/volume/area? Can I include nu-metal? Too many questions!)