Jokes Thread.

mattvincent

Likes Dirt
hey all im quite board and in a lil bit of pain and need some humor.

post your jokes.

NO RACISM JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ill get it started. lame jokes are always the best so heres a lame ass 1.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light globe?..................FISH
 

fattyandthepiemakers

I ride an STP
Master Betty: I have been called bad before. Many have said I do things that are not correct to do. I don't believe in such talk as this. I am nice man with happy feelings all of the time. First a joke. What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?

...My ass. Nyahahahaha.
 

Renegade

Likes Bikes and Dirt
How many Emo's does it take to change a lightbulb
100... 1 to change the lightbulb and 99 others to sit on the ground and cut their wrists with the remaining broken glass.

Dont go off at me for that I herd it from someone else.. blame them!
 

brad of sydney

Likes Dirt
i am not bagging out emo's in any way but:

how do you get an emo out of a tree?
cut the rope.

why did the plane crash?
because the pilot was a tomato.

whats brown and sticky?
a stick.

well thats all my pathetic jokes for now.
sorry for wasting your time.
 

Andy MTB

Likes Dirt
I bought a packet of batteries the other day. But it was only when i got home that i realised that the batteries weren't included, so i had to go and get some more.
 

|Matt|

Banned
Renegade said:
How many Emo's does it take to change a lightbulb
100... 1 to change the lightbulb and 99 others to sit on the ground and cut their wrists with the remaining broken glass.

Dont go off at me for that I herd it from someone else.. blame them!
OR
How many emo's does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they prefer to cry in the dark

donthucktoflat said:
what to you call it when 4 emos go off a cliff in a commodore?
a damn shame, commodores can fit 5
OR
What do you call it when 5 emos drive off a cliff in a commodore?
a shame, you can fit another 3 in the boot
 

Dozer

Heavy machinery.
Staff member
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but I don't know how they got in there.
 

wtr

Likes Dirt
fattyandthepiemakers said:
Master Betty: I have been called bad before. Many have said I do things that are not correct to do. I don't believe in such talk as this. I am nice man with happy feelings all of the time. First a joke. What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?

...My ass. Nyahahahaha.
Here's two more..

Master Betty: I'm going to do something very evil that'll kill a lot of good people, I think it's good because it's so bad.

Master Betty:Ouchy, I fell and hurt my tummy..
 

dazz

Downhill Dazz
You know how people say the Irish are dumb?
Well did you know that the scotch finger biscuits!

...da boom tish...

Why did the wife buy her husband gold coloured condoms?
Because he always came first.

I'm done.
 

t

Likes Bikes and Dirt
gee petrol prices are expensive, huh :( ..... apparently petrol sniffers are switching to coke.
 

luke.b

Formerly DH Maniac
How many emo's does it take to unscrew a lightbulb:
Three. One two unsrew the bulb, one to write a song about it, and one to cry about it.
bahhahahaha
Why do women have small feet: So they can stand closer to the sink.
(hmm, that last one might just land me in trouble)
 

Anthonaut

Likes Dirt
peachy said:
what do you call a black man driving a plane???


















































a pilot u fkn racist!
Stolen from a future episode of the OC.

Well, thats where I heard it.

EDIT: Beaten
EDIT 2: Looks like that episode has been on tv already.
 
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