So i blew $1k to get the missus riding and she is useless.

Sethius

Crashed out somewhere
Do you want to ride with her or is her idea of bonding? I found mixing these things isn't always best.
 

AaronM

Likes Dirt
I spent $1k on myself to have a go at riding back in July and the first couple of kilometres on flat grounds around my house sucked. I was winded, my arse hurt, and I could barely stand. Yeah I can walk 25km in a day every now and then, do the 10000 steps most days etc but there’s no way I was bike fit.

I persisted for a couple of weeks then went on holidays for a month. Came back and am entering into my third week of trying to get my bike fitness up.

Along the way little things like getting my seat height right (20mm change and the arse pain is much less of a thing) and doing more urban riding focusing on finding a cadence that’s comfortable for cruising have made a huge difference.

Now I’m starting to ride some of the bushland walking trails. Stuff I’ve walked through hundreds of times, and yet on the bike it’s a challenge, trying to relearn the lessons I learnt as a kid on a bmx 35+ years ago. I don’t have a riding buddy, my friends don’t ride so I’m taking my time and just trying to have fun.

The moments it all comes together it’s awesome, but 11km out in the sun in a rocky hill that the legs won’t climb it really does feel miserable.

Cut your wife some slack, help her get fitter on the bike. Ride the casual trails until she gets a feel for the tyres/grip moving around in loose surfaces. Just get out in the sunshine and nature together. Let her build up to “downhill”, otherwise she will quit even having a go and will resent the time you spend on the bike.
 

nathanm

Likes Bikes and Dirt
When anxious people get worked up their brain turns to mush, even if they're trying to have a good time.
Seems like she might be anxious about crashing, but also about not enjoying something you love
Absolutely nailed it there. I believe this was the major contributing factor, combined with my absolute lack of compassion.

So back to gradually building up again and I will try my absolute best to not be me and instead be patient, kind and understanding
 

Jpez

Is bad
Could be a blessing in disguise. I love my missus but I use my ride days to have time to myself and the lads.
The last thing I’d want is her tagging along.
 

mas2

Likes Bikes and Dirt
Honestly if I went riding for my first time and crashed twice I would hate it too. Apart from lessons does her bike have a dropper? Just wondering if she got launched over the bars from a seat being too high.
 

John U

MTB Precision
Then we get into some tight teccie single trail and it all goes to shit.
Why are you taking her on tight techy singletrack when shes a beginner? By doing this, the result that you got is the exact result I would expect.

The majority of beginners are the same in any sport. If you throw them straight in at the deep end they're going to crash, get hurt, feel stupid and embarrassed, and lose confidence.

Some people are not good at passing on their skills, others are. If you're in the former then get her some coaching. If you're in the latter coach her yourself, but make sure you teach her the basics first, on easier terrain, using shorter rides, and build up to the techy stuff. Be there spotting for her if required.

I'm assuming she's doing this because she wants to be there with you and get involved with your sport. That's fucking awesome! She could be sitting at home, on the couch, watching reality TV, turning her brain and body to shit. It might cost you some riding time but her enthusiasm for the sport is not something you can buy at any price.

Good luck. Your problem is an excellent problem to have.
 

safreek

Vealcake
Keep taking her, my partner is a shit rider, slows me to the max. But I see the long term achievement of biking together. Don't do it every ride though, you need to let loose at times
 

Flow-Rider

Wheel size expert
@nathanm Send her off to some basic skills coarses, it will save you a lot of headaches and your insanity. Some feel more relaxed and confident around other ladies when learning how mtb.
 

Lazmo

Old and hopeless
Reading between the lines, you don’t want her riding and that’s okee dokee. Pull the pin before you spend any more dosh. But if she wants to, and you really take the time, start softly, and maybe get her some coaching, you may end up sharing a passion for the same sport.

My wife is my riding partner. Every weekend, every day off, every holiday ... whether in Oz or overseas, involves mountain bike riding. She’s always had good bikes, often better than mine, and other than magpies, she rides all year round. But she is fit as fuck... runs, swims and rides, so that helps.

But, we are mates, and want the time together, and that’s really the crux of the matter. Do you want that?
 

Calvin27

Eats Squid
My 2c. If they haven't ridden as a kid forget mountain biking unless she is really hungry to learn it.

Same goes for regular riders like us all. If you weren't on a bmx or similar as a kid, then you are already quite disadvantaged wrt cooridnation. I gave up on my other half riding at all (just flat path, not even mtb) and now making sure my little one grows up climbing trees and doing sick manuals because mine are choppy even lol.

I get the solo riding thing, But given the choice i rekon having a riding partner is heaps better.
 

link1896

Wheel size expert
Calvin and Lazmo are on the money.

I’d add to this, infants that weren’t swung around airplane style by parents have a less developed (or maybe it’s less responsive) inner ear balance system.

One way to avoid this with adult partners is a tandem bike. This way you take them out of control (or lack there of)


I’ve a partner that also has worse separation anxiety then a puppy dog. I love her to bits, but riding is my alone time. I don’t want to feel guilty doing it
 

Spike-X

Grumpy Old Sarah
Absolutely nailed it there. I believe this was the major contributing factor, combined with my absolute lack of compassion.

So back to gradually building up again and I will try my absolute best to not be me and instead be patient, kind and understanding
Good man. I was going to say you were being an arse, but it seems you've already figured that out.
 

fatboyonabike

Eats Squid
get her a really comfy seat, one of those lounge chair ones filled with that gel crap.. noobs like to sit down a lot when riding, until they learn that getting your arse off the seat , you can control the bike and weight distribution a lot more...no one likes to be in pain when out riding, it takes your mind off more important things like staying upright, once her sit bones get used to riding, upgrade to a more appropriate saddle.
do some straight speed runs around home, and show her the difference it makes using front brake only, back brake only and both together
and then do the same trials with sitting vs attack position
simple fundamentals!
 
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Haakon

veni, vidi, volanti
And whatever you do, just happily take the blame for everything and don’t even think about getting snappy...
 

pink poodle

Our man in the West
I think this whole story belongs in the fuckwit thread. There's some good all female coaching/riding groups up her, fly up with her for a weekend. She can ride and learn, you can try and punch me in the face like you've often threatened, I can laugh it off. Better come soon though before it gets too hot.
 
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