Star Wars, The Last Jedi

pink poodle

気が狂っている男
The animated series was quite good. *where is the behind sofa thing again?
The clone wars? The was a great kids series with enough of an edge for parents to enjoy watching it with the kids. I know a few youngsters that were really into it, and one that loved the idea of it...but was too scared to actually watch it!

I was thinking a band of brothers type show following a unit of "rebels" from signing up through to victory day. It would be a good way to grow characters and also see how the system works.

Anyway back to the thing that brings us most joy, hating on this current shit heap of a film! The Maz Kanata character really sucks balls. I thought the entire visit to her seedy bar in force awakens sucked harder than the vacuum of space. I wasn't sure how it could get any worse...oh I was wrong! Her brief appearance in last jedi was tortuously bad. I did love the brainwashing that Disney inserted about the evil workers unions...with Disney having a very poor reputation for worker exploitation. And fuck the code breaker idea, can they not just fly in with R2D2 or the ball sack robot and resolve the issue?
 

Kerplunk

Likes Bikes and Dirt
I like the Rey character.

Poe - I liked the interaction at the start, but his character hasn’t been built. It is shallow. He is there for action figure sales.
Phasma - what’s the point. What has been done by this character that could not have been done better by an unnamed character. She is there for action figure sales.
Poe character could have developed into a future resistance leader sort of thing.. rather than doing the dumb bloke that needs a female to do things properly shtick..

I liked all the ideas and change of story direction for the next movies. I just thought the execution was crap..
Interesting to see the huge difference between the critics reviews (+) and the punters..
 

stirk

Burner
Plenty of negative critic reviews available as well.
I agree with alot of the negative call outs but always remember the fun and good more.

If I'm going to be negative I'll call out the the whole Rey and Finn relationship as the most fucking frustrating friendship ever, they hardly know each other yet are best mates so the character development failed there.

The original had lots of suck balls crap too, c-3PO is still going, I wish his batteries would run out!

I mostly just enjoy the space fighting stuff lazer beams and the rest is just filler.

Battle of Britain fan I am.
 

Moggio

Likes Bikes and Dirt
I just thought this was great fun and I was thoroughly entertained and taken away for 2.5 hrs. It felt as fun and escapist as when I watched the first three films as a little kid (with three year gaps between them and no opportunity to watch them multiple times.) Some things that were a little iffy but WTF? Still awesome.
 

Beej1

Senior Member
Man ... that was a thoroughly underwhelming film. I probably didn't hate as much of it as poodle did, but I sure found a lot of it dull, a heap of it unnecessary, some of it more repeated bullshit, and a few parts having a completely retconning effect on the whole saga thus far. The writing was pretty terrible - the plot just didn't flow at all.

One thing is clear ... after 4 films of being 'The Rebellion', they have learned absolutely nothing in terms of military or tactical knowledge. The WIRED article on the subject does better justice than I can (given it's written by a Military Writers Guild member), but yeah ... I was scratching my head a lot at the choices these folk made, especially Poe who seemed to be getting set up as a badass fighter pilot in The Farce Awakens, only to become a bit of a dumbarse throughout most of this film.

Bits I didn't like:
- In The Farce Awakens, I really liked Kylo Ren ... right up until he took his helmet off and became a whiny emo sooky la-la. He whinged, killed someone important in his life (Han), chased down the Jedi antagonising him (Rey) and fought angry, and got thoroughly schooled. In The Last Jedi, he briefly donned the helmet again (hiding his stupid sooky la-la face), then took it off, killed someone important in his life (Snoke), chased down the Jedi antagonising him (Luke), fought angry, and got thoroughly schooled.
- Boba Phasma - again, the Boba Fett of this trilogy (cool suit, helmet, don't see the face, sells lots of action figures) goes out like a complete chump.
- Slowest. Space Chase. Ever. How many hours did The First Order have to jump ahead and take them out?
- to save time, I can sum up the bits I didn't like as "Pretty much everything up to Hyperspace Kamikaze was utter crap, especially the totally unnecessary casino planet"

Leia's space-swim? Ya know what .... that didn't grate on me as much as pretty much everyone I know who also disliked the film. Other than only a few small moments mentioned previously here we've never seen her force ability. To have her wield a saber or shoot lightning would've been ridiculous. But given she's about to be written out of the franchise (which they never knew when filming this), I found this scene to be a somewhat majestic way of showing there's more to her than just some military figurehead. So yeah ... compared to other parts, this was OK by me.

As for the aforementioned Hyperspace Kamikaze - wow! What an amazingly awesome scene. But ... Why didn't she do that about 2 minutes and a dozen destroyed transports earlier? Why didn't she do that as soon as the transports left? Why didn't they just abandon one of the other vessels as soon as they realise they were fucked hours earlier, and auto-pilot hyperspace jump it at Snokes ship? Why didn't they hyperspace jump one of their ships at the Death Star in Ep IV, or EP VI? Or down the gullet of Starstupid Base in Ep VII? And don't give me that "Oh but the Death Stars are so big, it woudn't work!" Pfft ... look at how big Snoke's ship was ... cut through it like butter. Send a couple at the weapon crater of a Death Star and it's toast or out of action for enough time to hijack a few more ships and do it again. Seriously ... it looked cool, but I always just assumed hyperspace was not regular space, and never shall the actions in the former affect the latter. It's nitty-gritty tech nerd-dome, but other than Han's hyperspace plotting comment in the YT vid posted earlier, which makes sense because he's talking about super-massive objects and how they warp spacetime, there's no indication hyperspace is just regular space. I mean ... when they look out the window in hyperspace it looks like some tunnel. A tunnel through space. But now we can hyperspace at anything and cause catastrophic damage it seems.

New Rebellion Strategy: Hijack ships, kamikaze them into the enemy strongholds at hyperspeed.

Bits I liked:
- Luke's force projection. So well done. And the all-too-brief sabre fight with Ren had many aspects of Seven Samurai about it (the shifting feet positions - fantastic). But overall I thought it was the best way to write that whole conflict - the ultimate fuck you to Ren: "Look what I can do you fucking muppet! And you never saw it coming, and now you failed to wipe out the others."
- Rey's rockshift right as Luke mentions he's not the last Jedi ... spine tingling.

... that's it. 2 aspects of the movie were good. The rest was pretty fucking woeful.

I'll sign off with why the lightsabre battles in Phantom Menace are so lame:
 

pink poodle

気が狂っている男
I too (as already mentioned) loved the light speed attack. But!!! But...why create a whole new character, totally fail to develop the character, use.a fairly average actor (the farewell between her and Leia was woeful), then when the character starts to show why she is a revered leader...write out the character? WHY??? Did they not already have a legendary Admiral in the pile of Star Wars toys that could have undertaken such a role? I say give Ackbar a decent send off rather than what was effectively an off screen death "Admiral Ackbar is dead." wow...what a flop move.

The whole character of Vice Admiral Hold the Door should not be in the film. The legendary move would've suited The Mon Calamari win at all costs approach that Ackbar and Raddus et Al have shown in the past and been a fitting send off for a fairly popular character.

And it isn't like Disney are above recreating deceased actors...
 

Skydome

What's invisible and smells like hay?
I saw it with my brother last night, both of us thought it was good.

but there were lots of little annoyances for me too ranging from all the forced try hard comedic commentary and etc and those bird things that kept popping up through the movie, like it was funny the first, maybe second time but after the 900th time it got old,, FAST.

Also,, am I the only one that notices all the flaws the orders destroyers drednots (SP) has in them?

Like you'd think with that hatch they used to drop the round bombs in it that the order would see that as a weakness and placed a curved cover on it to stop that from happening and why doesn't a big fancy drednot (SP) have shielding?

it seems that the rebellions ships could just slip through without meeting any sort of shielding?

maybe i'm been too nit picky here but damn man.
 

Beej1

Senior Member
Yeah would've been a good sendoff for It's A Trap Ackbar ... I wonder if they could've conveyed the emotion of him realising what he was doing with that squid face of his? I mean ... "It's a trap!!!" Ackbar face, and "Can somebody get me a soda up in this bitch?" Ackbar face don't really look that different.

Fuck me! I eagerly await the day when I finally stop talking about this shit film.
I still find myself wanting to talk about how crap Farce Awakens was. It's not like I lose sleep over it. It's more that I can't think of a bigger wasted opportunity to do something great, and instead roll out re-hashed mediocrity, followed by utter bullshit.

Rogue One stands above both in my opinion, but that isn't saying much since it had quite a few flaws and was marred by a seemingly clusterfuck of a production and studio interference (as is the case with the Han Solo film ... though I think they just decided to start over once they fired the Lego movie guys) which made the whole last act a little disjointed. But man ... that's one gorgeous film from a cinematography point of view.
 

Calvin27

Eats Squid
Rogue One stands above both in my opinion, but that isn't saying much since it had quite a few flaws and was marred by a seemingly clusterfuck of a production and studio interference (as is the case with the Han Solo film ... though I think they just decided to start over once they fired the Lego movie guys) which made the whole last act a little disjointed. But man ... that's one gorgeous film from a cinematography point of view.
I'd put rogue one above all the modern remakes including eps 1-3. Character development was much better, deaths were aplenty but very fitting.

If disney wanted to create a whole new star wars universe then they should have done that instead of pretending to make it a continuation.

Is there any precedent for superseeding piss poor movies and effectively writing them off as mistakes?
 

Beej1

Senior Member
Is there any precedent for superseeding piss poor movies and effectively writing them off as mistakes?
X-Men Days of Future Past effectively retconns X-Men 3 into non-existence where it belongs. Superman Returns picked up after Superman II as if Superman III & IV never existed.

The first example is a Bryan Singer success story. The second is a Bryan Singer failure - big time. Say ... whatever happened to Bryan Singer. Hmmmm....
 

John U

MTB Precision
Jumping to light speeds a fucking joke. At light speed there’s years between stars, let alone galaxies. They’ve got to completely divorce that shit. Wormholes is the only place it’s at.
 

Beej1

Senior Member
Jumping to light speeds a fucking joke. At light speed there’s years between stars, let alone galaxies. They’ve got to completely divorce that shit. Wormholes is the only place it’s at.
Unlike Trek, Star Wars is notoriously inconsistent with its intermix of science fact and science fiction, and general mish-mash of terminology ... as well as pronouncing "Han" different ways throughout.

You're correct that throughout the OT they say "make the jump to light speed", but just as often they correctly say "hyperspace" which is their fictional version of faster than light travel.

I just read a comment about 3 times the length of my hate speech above, explaining the hyperspace kamikaze as something along the lines of hyperspace jumps requiring accelerating to light speed before entering hyperspace, and thus still interacting with real space till that point, and also making "jump to lightspeed" not sound stupid, because they're getting there in order to get beyond. Bit of a stretch ...

And it doesn't make The Last Jedi any less of a turd.
 

mik_git

Likes Bikes and Dirt
Jumping to light speeds a fucking joke. At light speed there’s years between stars, let alone galaxies. They’ve got to completely divorce that shit. Wormholes is the only place it’s at.
Dont they travel through hyperspace at lightspeed? So you jump to hyperspace, alternate dimension type thing, which allows you toshortcut through space (like wormhole, but not) then you travel at lightspeed + to get through faster. Still takes a long time ona tractor, but not a long time on tractor with litepeed)
oh yeah, and you also accelerate o litespeed while doing the jump to hyperspace)
 

pink poodle

気が狂っている男
Is there any precedent for superseeding piss poor movies and effectively writing them off as mistakes?
You mean like Batman? Or superman? Or spiderman? Just say reboot and the masses will come.



Jumping to light speeds a fucking joke. At light speed there’s years between stars, let alone galaxies. They’ve got to completely divorce that shit. Wormholes is the only place it’s at.
You've gotta.start thinking in parsecs man.
 

Spanky_Ham

Porcinus Slappius
After spending the last week in insane levels of stress (the shit stained meat sack will update later) The porcinated one took a timeout to see this movie (as you call them) and enjoyed it.... like sandpaper on the genitals.... it was not too bad....
 

slowmick

38-39"
saw it today with my mum. she made me clean my room to see Star Wares way back when. It was the perfect Christmas movie. there were some old friends that you got to enjoy some time with, some people who were there making up numbers, lots of shooting and sword fighting. there were laughs and silliness. there was also air conditioning, reclining chairs and no interruptions for almost 3 hours. if only i'd remembered the leftover chocolates from Christmas day.
 
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