Bumping mostly in response to the other related thread that started from not finding this one, but my little saga has an epi-epilogue......
After another lengthy break, earlier this year J randomly messaged me with suggestions of resuming intimacy. I thought long & hard (there may well be a double entendre there
) about it, but radio silence resumed from his/its end soon after, and nothing eventuated. Advice from here about overcooking cabbages came back to me, and I finally decided to cut all ties for good and deleteted all contacts and message streams. It took me a long time to realise that although we have similar emotional problems, and I still empathise with him (it?) and hope he finds his path in life, we're simply too different to be able to make a proper thing happen. The rollercoaster still has a few lumps on its runout, and in some ways I do miss J, but on the flip side there are aspects that I'm really glad to leave behind me and overall I know that I'm mentally better off on my own.