Women, etc.

Elbo

pesky scooter kids git off ma lawn
By the sounds of it, I need to be less of a Christian than I already am. I just need to ball up and dive into the deep end rather than trying to nice my way into a girls heart (pants).
I don't think you need to be less of a Christian to attract women, you just need to show that you don't really care what she, or anyone else thinks of you, and don't be more emotional than she is. In general, some things church culture demands of men these days (depends which denomination) seems to reduce their masculinity, and therefore their attractiveness to women… again, generally speaking.
Plenty of 'nice christian guys' I know meet 'nice christian girls'. But I also know a lot of christian girls who are frustrated because they can't find christian guys who will actually be the guy in the relationship.
 

Knut

Troll hunter
What are you thinking? Is your user name "For those about to sit down with a packet of Tim Tams, play some Beth Orton and discuss the political strength of the CWA"?

Dozer has some good points. However, there are some I dissagree with.

The push her against the wall (ascertively, definately not aggressively) like you are going to lay one on her, I get. I also get the do it in front of her (girl)friends. She will look like a rock star in front of them. Everyone wants to feel good in view of their closest piers. The box thing... Cool idea. Tease her with it (the box) as you press against her. Let her know that you do have a heartbeat. Then stand up straight and walk away. She will immediately feel a sense of loss. She has your number, she can call when she is ready. She will because you just gave her a taste of what she really wants.

Do not dive through a window. You will not only plummet to the ground in a bleeding mess, you will be 'the loser on a hospital bed who tried to kiss some dude's girlfriend and then ran like a bitch'. Not only that, you will be unable to defend yourself from any Big Hairy Dude who just saw some skinny punk kiss his girlfriend.

As for the Big Hairy Dude. If this girl is as good as you say, then he will be her equal. Kissing her in front of him, not a good career move. He will turn you into a human javelin and you will be going through that window, like it or not. Then he will chase you, break down the wall to fuck your shit up.

The bracelet, come on dude. That is too far. Buy her an iTunes gift card. If you had a girlfriend and she bought you a watch 'just because you are friends', you could count the seconds before one of thse relationships ended. If she wants or expects more of a gift from you, then she needs to get closer to you.

The Christian part. Well mate, if God wanted you together, he would have miracled your ass to her house by now and you two would be doing the helicopter right now, for real, not in your imagination.

Now grow some si-yu-en tea and let her know that she is about to be rocked!
 
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Registered Nutcase

Likes Bikes and Dirt
I am all for Dozers approach, in fact that is my usual style when it comes to woman, but I ONLY ever buy flowers, girls love them and they are cheap and easy, I do get a nice card with it. It can be construed as a plutonic but meh, if you are buying gifts for girls you may as well pay for a prostitute
 

wilddemon

Likes Dirt
Safari theory

Dozer's tips reminded me of a few travel stories. Here's something for you "for those about to rock"...

So I'm going to divulge this theory. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone this but I've kept it secret for over 12 years and I'm married now so I don't need to keep it secret any longer. Besides that, the guy that told me was an asshole anyway. It's not like I used it, much. Just a couple of times. But I've seen it used successfully a lot of times.
So I was partying in Prague back in 2000 getting loaded all day, every day. You know there was a smoko bar just off the main street? Cops and military guys used to go there and everything. Probably not there anymore... So I made a lot of friends and it was just one bender after another, and we ended going down to Ceske Krumlov and living in this medieval hostel place and just got smashed constantly for a month when I wasn't at hospital.
Back in the day I did alright with the ladies, hell we all did in places like Czech. I've since talked to Czech girls and apparently they were keen to try out western guys coz all these new things from the west were pretty good, so we did pretty good with them. But mostly we partied with the travellers that weren't too hard either but yeah you had to work a bit.
So this one guy, the silent operator, me and all these guys would be drinking and chatting up birds and the silent operator would just be sitting there in the corner and sipping away at his drink but every night he would pick up with some fine, fine lady. One night pretty late we were at the snake pit getting shitfaced and silent operator was making out with this unbelievable bird. He left soon after and later in the night I dragged my ass back to the medieval bat cave. So I open the door and the silent operator is pounding away at this bird like a champion. The poor bloke in the next bed had just come from a kibutz or something and had to be exposed to some pretty extraordinary scenes. Once he's had his way he grabbed her clothes and shoes and kicked her out making some hollow promise to email. The next morning the guy from the kibutz was gone and the hostel managers never sent anyone else down to the bat cave. Anyway sorry for the long story, but we got ourselves out of bed and down to the nearest bar and smashed a few beers for breakfast while we got on the internet. Afterwards, we got on the scotch and got to talking about the silent operator's stellar performance and he told us all the secret of safari theory.

Everyone has watched some nature shows, a bit of discovery channel or whatever. So he tells us you need to consider yourself as the lion. The lion is only good for a short sprint but he can bring down all but the biggest prey by force. It's important in the wild that the predator gets more energy back from the hunt than is put into it. And gazelle, well they can run for miles, so don't try to chase down the first gazelle you see because you're just going to end up spending all of your energy and having nothing to show for it. When silent operator is sitting in the corner he's just watching what is going on, like the lion. The lion watches the hyena chase around the gazelle, but the hyena doesn't have the balls or the size to bring down the gazelle, especially not by itself. The hyenas are the "players" trying to "get" girls and they just chase them around and the girls just run and run. After a time, and a considerable amount of drinking, the hyenas are pretty tired but so are the gazelle. The lion picks the right moment when a gazelle is split from the herd and the hyenas are not looking, the gazelle's guard is down and the lion moves in.
When the shark attacks and the teeth sink into the prey, apparently the shark can tell in a split second whether they will be getting fat, or muscle and bone. Fat is where it's at, it provides more energy and a better return for the kill. Muscle and bone is more effort to eat, and digest and gives less energy return. So it's pretty common for a shark to bite something meaty and then just leave it. When you go for the kill, which will be brutal and savage, you will know in a split second whether you are getting the fat or bones and muscle. If you realise that you are not getting the fat, quickly retreat. If you are getting the fat, you should tear the prey to pieces, quickly and efficiently. Remember that the hyenas will be back in larger numbers to try to stop you and take the scraps. I'm pretty sure there was a whole lot more to it, but I hadn't eaten lunch and was pretty tanked by then so the rest was a blur.

Anyway, I was never a big subscriber to this theory. And once the silent operator had divulged this "secret" we all just sat there drinking watching everyone else like a pack of weirdos so that didn't work. Being some snake in long grass isn't especially cool in my books. But anyway, take some lessons from this, don't be a total tool but don't be the nice guy that finishes last either. And try not to hit the scotch before lunch.

Demon
 

Ek155

Likes Dirt
My god Dozer that is fucking gold.

Finally broke up with my partner of nearly 4 years today, christ, break ups are full on even when it ends for the right reasons.

Good luck with it all man, keep your head up.
 
As awesome as all this advice is, all I wanted was some gift ideas for a female friend. As much as I like the girl, making her my girlfriend is not exactly my highest priority. And, for the record, she's a dog girl and I have, on many occasions, used our beagle as a means of attraction. As for her bf, I daresay I could take him and that's not just me blowing my own whistle. He's not a bad guy either, so I'm not in the position to be a dick to him.

As for what Elbo said, I was kinda just going along with the other dudes. I'm not about to stop believeing in what I believe in just to pull a chick. I just need to find the happy median between Douchebag and Mr. Nice Guy.
 

Big JD

Wheel size expert
Have some wild flowers (not roses) delivered to her personally (away from her BF and friends) without a card and sit back and watch her try and figure it out over the next few days. When she asks you if you sent the flowers - tell here that you thought that she would like them as they were so beautiful. She will say "thank you" and you can say - "you are most welcome - happy birthday Sarah/Tina/Melody or Anna". You will show you care, that beauty is important, you arent being sleezy and that you are thoughtful without being a sap.
 

Norco Maniac

Is back!
this is probably not the best place to put this but i'm at a loss.

i'm watching a train wreck happen right now. short story: naive guy takes on woman with a child and a drug habit and background of abuse, foster homes, etc. ends up having child with her, marries her. she gets progressively worse - physically, emotionally and financially abuses him, then kicks him out. repeat this scene over two years or so till he finally meets someone else. she finds out, damages his property and refuses access to their child. she threatens him with violence, again, and files for divorce. four months later, she sends him an email telling him she's always loved him. he's about to be sucked back in...

then she posts photos of her dope plants she's growing at home in her housing commission house on Instagram, and i stumble upon them. she's also breeding pit bulls illegally.

am i bound to report her? or am i being a total bitch just because she's screwing my mate over?

EDIT: adding to this, she was the reason he tried to commit suicide three times last year, and she is holding that against him, as a reason she won't let him see the kids. she is an abuser of amphetamines, oxycontin, valium, antidepressants and pot. i sincerely doubt she'd pass a drug test.
 
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Morgan123

Likes Dirt
EDIT: adding to this, she was the reason he tried to commit suicide three times last year, and she is holding that against him, as a reason she won't let him see the kids. she is an abuser of amphetamines, oxycontin, valium, antidepressants and pot. i sincerely doubt she'd pass a drug test.
How would you feel if they did get back together and he killed himself? It's a big decision but i'd probably dob her in or at least have a very-fucking-serious talk to him.
 

downhillar

Likes Dirt
As for what Elbo said, I was kinda just going along with the other dudes. I'm not about to stop believeing in what I believe in just to pull a chick. I just need to find the happy median between Douchebag and Mr. Nice Guy.
I say you pick a fight with her dad. It show's your crazy AND irresponsible, and girls love a fixer-upper.


Personally I'd have no qualms about dobbing her in, the only issue might be that she might think the husband did it, but I'd probably do it anyway, they're better off apart.

Either that or bash the guy into submission so that you become his new leader.
 
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rednightmare

Likes Dirt
As awesome as all this advice is, all I wanted was some gift ideas for a female friend. As much as I like the girl, making her my girlfriend is not exactly my highest priority. And, for the record, she's a dog girl and I have, on many occasions, used our beagle as a means of attraction. As for her bf, I daresay I could take him and that's not just me blowing my own whistle. He's not a bad guy either, so I'm not in the position to be a dick to him.

As for what Elbo said, I was kinda just going along with the other dudes. I'm not about to stop believeing in what I believe in just to pull a chick. I just need to find the happy median between Douchebag and Mr. Nice Guy.
Just get her a card and some kind of goofy present. Anything too serious (incl. flowers) would be a bit of a shit move considering she has a boyfriend.

If it were me though, I'd move on. She's got a boyfriend and it's not like there aren't plenty of other girls to chase. As for how to behave, just be yourself. Try to be funny and confident but don't be too keen. If you 'friend zone' girls, they'll often be more keen, at least initially. You're always more attractive if you are just out of reach. Just don't wait too long to make your move. My 2c.
 

@nDr3w

Likes Dirt
am i bound to report her? or am i being a total bitch just because she's screwing my mate over?
Technically, legally, you are. However, snitches get stitches, and all that.

trouble with that is the courts cannot order someone to go into rehab.
You're still in NSW, yeah? They sort of can, but it's as an alternative to gaol (same as community service, etc). But even then, if she's growing heaps of it, good chance of her getting locked up anyway. NSW Courts are pretty strict when it comes to drugs, and they don't play that "I'm addicted/couldn't help it" shit.
If it's another state, I have no idea.

Long story short: It's on you and whether or not you want to interfere.
 

tc2233

Likes Dirt
Alright guys, I need some help. Fortunately (I think) I'm not tryin to woo the heart of some fine lady. Instead, I'm stuck with buying a birthday present for a girl. I automatically thought of a nice bracelet or necklace or any number of those type of things girls like, however our history makes me hesitant. For the better part of the year, we were pretty close, we had our fair share of intimate encounters. UNfortunately, it never went any futher than that but we were, and still are pretty good friends. She now has a boyfriend which doesn't help my cause...

As I said, I'm thinking of a bracelet or something similar but I don't want it to send the wrong message. I don't want to seem like I'm trying to outdo her dude, nor do I want it to seem as though I'm trying to re-ignite something. I want it to be simply a "we're good friends and, as you're a girl, I'm getting you a nice girly gift for your birthday." Maybe I'm over thinking it, but some advice would be handy in determining what to get.

My housemate suggested I get her a gift card but that's a bit of a cop out present...
In my opinion, giving her anythng jewellary related is just going to send the wrong message to her boyfriend. I know a gift card is a bit boring but at least you wont be in the boyfriend's bad books...
 

redbruce

Eats Squid
this is probably not the best place to put this but i'm at a loss.

i'm watching a train wreck happen right now. short story: naive guy takes on woman with a child and a drug habit and background of abuse, foster homes, etc. ends up having child with her, marries her. she gets progressively worse - physically, emotionally and financially abuses him, then kicks him out. repeat this scene over two years or so till he finally meets someone else. she finds out, damages his property and refuses access to their child. she threatens him with violence, again, and files for divorce. four months later, she sends him an email telling him she's always loved him. he's about to be sucked back in...

then she posts photos of her dope plants she's growing at home in her housing commission house on Instagram, and i stumble upon them. she's also breeding pit bulls illegally.

am i bound to report her? or am i being a total bitch just because she's screwing my mate over?

EDIT: adding to this, she was the reason he tried to commit suicide three times last year, and she is holding that against him, as a reason she won't let him see the kids. she is an abuser of amphetamines, oxycontin, valium, antidepressants and pot. i sincerely doubt she'd pass a drug test.
A sad story but is dobbing her in really going to make a difference? Basically he needs to move on (yes I know easier said than done).

Leave her alone, put your efforts into supporting your mate. He clearly needs a true friend.
 
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Just get her a card and some kind of goofy present. Anything too serious (incl. flowers) would be a bit of a shit move considering she has a boyfriend.

If it were me though, I'd move on. She's got a boyfriend and it's not like there aren't plenty of other girls to chase. As for how to behave, just be yourself. Try to be funny and confident but don't be too keen. If you 'friend zone' girls, they'll often be more keen, at least initially. You're always more attractive if you are just out of reach. Just don't wait too long to make your move. My 2c.
I eneded up with a Star Wars (see previous posts) iPhone cover, a Jb Hifi gift card and a bottle of Tequila. Again, she's my friend. We have been for a few years, it was just the start of this year that things got serious. Sure, if she said that she'd broken up with her boyrfriend and realised that I'm the guy for her, then I'd be trying to persue a relationship but as far as everything goes at the moment, we're simply friends.

Unfortunately I'm going to miss the party (pretty much just going out to the local pub) so there wont be any fighting nor jumping through windows done by me.
 

Norco Maniac

Is back!
Technically, legally, you are. However, snitches get stitches, and all that.



You're still in NSW, yeah? They sort of can, but it's as an alternative to gaol (same as community service, etc). But even then, if she's growing heaps of it, good chance of her getting locked up anyway. NSW Courts are pretty strict when it comes to drugs, and they don't play that "I'm addicted/couldn't help it" shit.
If it's another state, I have no idea.

Long story short: It's on you and whether or not you want to interfere.
i'm in SA these days, @nDr3w.

i know it's not illegal to own pit bulls here but they have to be registered and desexed. it's illegal to breed them. the problem i have is that if i dob her in, my friendship with my mate will be over, because i'd have to either tell him what i've done or keep it a secret. either way, no good. if i don't dob her in, he'll get sucked back in, again, and he's just started a decent full time job, best chance he's had in years. she's ruined his chances twice before and another time made him resign to stay at home with the kids, then held the finances against him. she's a total control freak.

i sat him down last night and showed him the Duluth wheel of power and control (domestic abuse) i don't know how much actually sank in tho.
 
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