Women, etc.
- Thread starter Matt H
- Start date
Urban DH
Likes Bikes and Dirt
what do you mean by the answers?
well at the time no, a wise mate said just leave her and give her time to miss you and hope for the best and when she starts talking to me again ask her how she feels and see where we go from there
hach_bee
Likes Bikes and Dirt
Learn how to split up a sentence? That gave me a headache...
Anyway, surely it didn't come from just nowhere... if she's not talking try someone close to her perhaps, though tread carefully. If she's worth it, fight for it.
Knut
Troll hunter
Grow up idiot. A Burner needs a help up.
Anyway...
Communication is the key. Body language is really important too. If she is giving you nothing then you are going to have to make some big calls. These d's can only come from you. Your balls on the chopping block.
Wise words from hach. If she is the chocolates, then you need to tool up and be prepared to face a two way range. Rarely chicks drink s cup of coffee, look up and say "I think we're drifting apart". So find out what you did to turn her. By getting a head mechanic, you will find the answer without asking her. She will think you're a deadset champion because you worked out that you were a dunderhead all by yourself. She will be impressed. I doubt it's because you left the bathroom light on two weeks ago.
Now use this time to change. She will be hoping for that. You never stop loving someone.
I reckon deep down inside you know. You can do it. It's tough. But by your description she will be worth it in the end. Good luck dude.
Bermshot
Banned
You joined to be popular yeah? Or have you been banned already and now just gnawing gristle? Pelican
downhillar
Likes Dirt
I would just like to point out that it is not necessarily your fault that she left. She may have left for a number of reasons e.g. Met someone else, family trouble, stress from work, etc. Do not blame yourself for her leaving you, that is a massive massive mistake that will fuck you up mentally. Maybe you were doing something that annoyed her but how are you supposed to know that if she never told you? If there was some ongoing problem that she had then she should have talked to you about it (COMMUNICATION!), and it is unfair for her to simply break up with you without even attempting to talk about the issue first.
I made the mistake of blaming myself when a girl left me once. I thought she was perfect, then she just turned cold and that was it. It turned out that she had daddy issues or something, and as soon as she had reeled a guy in and began to feel comfortable with them she would leave them. She did it to a bunch of other really nice guys that I knew (after me..). I was so depressed from constantly blaming myself, I couldn't sleep for months until eventually I realised that I hadn't done anything wrong, she just had her own issues that she didn't know how to deal with.
If you slept with her mum or were constantly putting her down etc then yes I would say it was your fault.
Urban DH
Likes Bikes and Dirt
so i'm fair sure i've figured out what the ''problems'' were/are, i'm 1000% sure if she told me in a, its fix the problem or we're done kinda way they'd have been fixed on the spot. now she has gone i've obviously had time to think and so i have. chocolates and shit with this girl? may aswell say look i dont know you from a brick, take me back? someone said she's very independant and thats 100% correct. we did talk some what and i can see her point/s, they are problems but ones that are easily fixed. i think what hurt the most, or rather not even hurt so much as disappointed me is that she didn't sit down and tell me whats wrong and allow me to fix it. i think, when i see her i a week or two at the next 4wd club meeting (we're in the same 4wd club, where we met) i'll take her aside as everyones leave and say ''look, i'm not gonna spit bullshit at you so here it is, i'd like one chance, that all i want, once chance no more or less, give me two weeks and i'll prove to you that every thing that was wrong is fixed, and if you decide its not then so be it, atleast you will have given me a chance, so thats what i'm saying, once chance and it's all fixed, go home think about it and tell me your decision.'' more or less thats the general jist of it, so i'm just hoping and praying to fuck that while she's away she's missing me as much as i'm missing her!
hach_bee
Likes Bikes and Dirt
Well hey, we got full stops- PROGRESS! Actually, makes me see that you are pretty quick to change when things are pointed out to you- a good point for your prospects. Your plan sounds good, try not to be too dramatic, she sounds like the kind of girl to back away from that; but taking her out of the crowd is a great idea.
Keep us posted
Keep us posted
Urban DH
Likes Bikes and Dirt
yes yes, all in good funWell hey, we got full stops- PROGRESS! Actually, makes me see that you are pretty quick to change when things are pointed out to you- a good point for your prospects. Your plan sounds good, try not to be too dramatic, she sounds like the kind of girl to back away from that; but taking her out of the crowd is a great idea.
Keep us posted
thats it, some time i will try and chance and be a bit reluctant but when its something serious like it clearly has been it's fixed there and then.
going to try not to be, i a nice way it will be blunt, this is how i feel, this is what i'm offereing, what do you say.
she is, thats the tricky part, it needs to be in a crowd but private, like if she comes to drop off some stuff and its just us i dont think it would work, she has the drive home to think and convince herself that i'm wrong and she doesn't need me. forgive the phrase but i need woo her, sort of just come up and IF she's been missing me, i need ot just say look, straight out, all the problems we had, you dont even need to name them, i know what was wrong and i've fixed it, every thing is fixed, nothing has been left out and it will be different and better, and the i need to keep it that way!
Urban DH
Likes Bikes and Dirt
scratch that, shits fucked! single life it looks, we'll try again in a few months, trying to talk her into feeling for me again hasn't worked so we'll jus have to put in some big ass man hours and make her change her own mind! HERE WE GO! strap in we're in for the long haul, time to go to work!
pistonbroke
Eats Squid
I think it's pretty clear. If she had any thoughts that maybe it could work she would want to try.
Urban DH
Likes Bikes and Dirt
yeh, she's unfortunatly basing it all on the i've been there before agument which i great but no me, considering her ex really was a proper douche, all well, let if go for now and see if in time she feels for me again
downhillar
Likes Dirt
I don't know if you read anything I wrote on the last page but why are you changing yourself for her? A relationship is where your partner accepts and loves you for who you are, not who you could potentially be.
To be blunt you're going to spend all this time sucking up to her, changing who you are, trying to show her you're a different person and losing your mind over this girl when in reality you have done nothing wrong and she is just no longer interested.
If she was genuinely interested in prolonging her relationship with you she would have talked to you about it and tried to fix it. I'm sorry if this comes across as being rude, admittedly I'm not trying to sugar coat it, I'm just trying to save you wasting your time and energy on this girl who has just moved on. The sooner you can accept it and move on the better off you will be.
This is my advice based on previous experiences of a very similar situation.
Best of luck to you.
To be blunt you're going to spend all this time sucking up to her, changing who you are, trying to show her you're a different person and losing your mind over this girl when in reality you have done nothing wrong and she is just no longer interested.
If she was genuinely interested in prolonging her relationship with you she would have talked to you about it and tried to fix it. I'm sorry if this comes across as being rude, admittedly I'm not trying to sugar coat it, I'm just trying to save you wasting your time and energy on this girl who has just moved on. The sooner you can accept it and move on the better off you will be.
This is my advice based on previous experiences of a very similar situation.
Best of luck to you.
Urban DH
Likes Bikes and Dirt
dont worry mate i'd agree fully! i'm not a sugar coated sort of person, it is what it is, as i said, i'd like her back and i've tried with no success so its done, moved on, none of you will believe it but i am a very mentally evolved person, i can decide exactly whats i want and thats that, emotions dont come into it that much. like i said i'vr moved on, thats that no more obssessing, i'm not going to lie the thoughs gonna cross my mind a few time when things remind me over her but it will only be a passing glance of hmm bummer, ahh well shit happenes, and thats how it is so yeh, moved on now
Urban DH
Likes Bikes and Dirt
saw her at the 4wd club meeting tonight, fuck me it funny how your mind work, totally fine with out her, all good to talk about going and getting your shi with her but when you see her in a public place with another bloke, ffaarrkk.... just starts it ticking over again in your head!
MtbDjRidaSachaz66
Likes Dirt
Fuckkk, I know that feel bro. Stay strong mate. Gotta kick those asshole thoughts out - It's definetly not easy...
Urban DH
Likes Bikes and Dirt
i know mate, i think a good shag with another lady might help that along!
its like YO, BITCH, GET OUT MA HEAD!
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Here's my tip...just avoid her! If you know she is going to be somewhere just make sure you're not there! It might seem shit at the start, you mightn't do what you want to do, see what you want to see etc. but it will help you get over it! Out of sight out of mind!