Women, etc.

Red Rocket

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How should I go about it then, RR? Letter to their address as mentioned earlier? My thoughts on the issue are that basically if she is unfairly influencing people's opinions of me then that's good reason to act upon the issue, correct?
How old is this chick? If her parents are censoring her Facebook, then chances are it's better dealing with them. But your discretion is probs best.

I'd just send them a straight-forward letter, via registered post, along the lines of:

Bitch/parents of Bitch (feel free to substitute here),

I noticed recently that there have been a few inflammatory (blogs/posts/sentences/whatever it was) posted to your tumblr account. I really think we're mature enough not to have to engage in this sort of activity, and at the end of the day it reflects poorly on us both. I'm not sure whether you're aware, but statements such as (insert relevant libel) constitute defamation of character. While it's obviously impossible for me to prevent you from speaking badly about me to mutual friends, when you've published remarks that are damaging to my reputation, I feel it's absolutely necessary to draw the line. It would be regrettable if I had to pursue this more officially, so please remove immediately any material concerning me.

Yours Faithfully,


Red Rocket
 

Bermshot

Banned
On ANZAC day a few years back I was slightly shattered, the mother of my Son deemed it over. So I met my mate at the R E. He let me have my whinge and then looked me square in the eye and said 'fuck her', it was a clean clear message. My dismal was gone within the hour and I never thought of it again.

BTW: I get to see my boy whenever I wish.
 

Sam.

Eats Squid
How old is this chick? If her parents are censoring her Facebook, then chances are it's better dealing with them. But your discretion is probs best.

I'd just send them a straight-forward letter, via registered post, along the lines of:

Bitch/parents of Bitch (feel free to substitute here),

I noticed recently that there have been a few inflammatory (blogs/posts/sentences/whatever it was) posted to your tumblr account. I really think we're mature enough not to have to engage in this sort of activity, and at the end of the day it reflects poorly on us both. I'm not sure whether you're aware, but statements such as (insert relevant libel) constitute defamation of character. While it's obviously impossible for me to prevent you from speaking badly about me to mutual friends, when you've published remarks that are damaging to my reputation, I feel it's absolutely necessary to draw the line. It would be regrettable if I had to pursue this more officially, so please remove immediately any material concerning me.

Yours Faithfully,


Red Rocket
Almost 18. Yeah if the letter was addressed to her I'd hazard a guess and say her mum would open it anyway, which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing as I'd daresay the blog would be hidden from her also. I might call her mum tomorrow or send a letter. Thanks heaps.
 

Bermshot

Banned
Almost 18. Yeah if the letter was addressed to her I'd hazard a guess and say her mum would open it anyway, which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing as I'd daresay the blog would be hidden from her also. I might call her mum tomorrow or send a letter. Thanks heaps.
If her mum would even hesitate to open her mail, get the fuck out, especially paper mail.
 

Mattydv

Likes Bikes and Dirt
Bitch/parents of Bitch (feel free to substitute here),

I noticed recently that there have been a few inflammatory (blogs/posts/sentences/whatever it was) posted to your tumblr account. I really think we're mature enough not to have to engage in this sort of activity, and at the end of the day it reflects poorly on us both. I'm not sure whether you're aware, but statements such as (insert relevant libel) constitute defamation of character. While it's obviously impossible for me to prevent you from speaking badly about me to mutual friends, when you've published remarks that are damaging to my reputation, I feel it's absolutely necessary to draw the line. It would be regrettable if I had to pursue this more officially, so please remove immediately any material concerning me.

Yours Faithfully,


Red Rocket
If you are going to send a letter, it should be defamatory.
Inflammatory is used (incorrectly) to describe something that gets an emotional response, whilst defamatory is the act of defaming.

Hope it all works out for you anyway.
:high5:
 

Sam.

Eats Squid
If her mum would even hesitate to open her mail, get the fuck out, especially paper mail.
Read: Ex girlfriend! We broke up over a year ago now and this shit still goes on. I've had a new girly since February, just to clear things up.

Thanks Matty, and thanks RR. Solid advice.
 

darsh

Likes Dirt
On ANZAC day a few years back I was slightly shattered, the mother of my Son deemed it over. So I met my mate at the R E. He let me have my whinge and then looked me square in the eye and said 'fuck her', it was a clean clear message. My dismal was gone within the hour and I never thought of it again.

BTW: I get to see my boy whenever I wish.
I see your Anzac Day and raise you a Christmas Day ( or whatever poker term is)
Walked away from ex on Xmas day a few years ago, my son now lives almost full time with me :02.47-tranquillity:
 

hach_bee

Likes Bikes and Dirt
If she's called you an asshole, then it is still defamation. Pursue it, don't be slack.

Yeah, but... how many times has someone called you an asshole? I've been called a bitch, etc and worse more times than I can count. If I had:
1. Pursued legally every single 'defamatory comment' someone had made about me, I'd be living in a courtroom and broke or;
2. Let any of those spen more time in my head than what they're due (that is, none) I'd be a nervous, pathetic wreck of a person!

Teenage girls do the venting thing, it's not new. Just a new medium through which she's expressing it. Seriously, if she's not threatening you or anything, I say man up and let it go. Perhaps you reading it now is showing that you've still got some connection to her in your mind... but alas, I digress...

How should I go about it then, RR? Letter to their address as mentioned earlier? My thoughts on the issue are that basically if she is unfairly influencing people's opinions of me then that's good reason to act upon the issue, correct?
Ignore it. Really, is it worth the time and energy chasing it up? For what outcome? She won't delete it Sam, realistically what's going to 'make her'? The cops aren't actually going to knock on her door and say 'Well excuse me Miss, you've written some nasty things, how about you go on and take those down...'

And for the record, if any prospective employer based their opinion of ME upon words written by someone else without knowing me- I wouldn't want to work for them anyway. That's about as mature as saying it to start with.


/RANT :D
 
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Red Rocket

Likes Bikes and Dirt
If you are going to send a letter, it should be defamatory.
Inflammatory is used (incorrectly) to describe something that gets an emotional response, whilst defamatory is the act of defaming.

Hope it all works out for you anyway.
:high5:
Cheers mate, I know which word I meant to use, and it was inflammatory (as in, synonymous with incendiary, which her blog clearly was from Sam's report). Not sure why you think people using it in this context are incorrect? See: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/inflammatory. Check the rest of my post re: defamation.

Yeah, but... how many times has someone called you an asshole? I've been called a bitch, etc and worse more times than I can count. If I had:
1. Pursued legally every single 'defamatory comment' someone had made about me, I'd be living in a courtroom and broke or;
2. Let any of those spen more time in my head than what they're due (that is, none) I'd be a nervous, pathetic wreck of a person!

Teenage girls do the venting thing, it's not new. Just a new medium through which she's expressing it. Seriously, if she's not threatening you or anything, I say man up and let it go. Perhaps you reading it now is showing that you've still got some connection to her in your mind... but alas, I digress...




/RANT :D
Don't even know where to start? People regularly insult each other face to face - suck it up and deal with it. But if you're happy to let anyone publish (and the operative word is publish here) crap about you and have that content freely available, then I think it speaks caustically of an inability to stand up for yourself.

I'm not suggesting Sam takes this shit to the High Court, but I don't think a courteous letter with a bit of substance behind it is at all unreasonable.

hach_bee said:
And for the record, if any prospective employer based their opinion of ME upon words written by someone else without knowing me- I wouldn't want to work for them anyway. That's about as mature as saying it to start with.
While it's unfortunate that not everyone judges character based purely on your own actions, it is reality. If I was looking at two identical candidates, one with a messy personal life strewn all over the internet and one without, I know who I'd be calling for an interview. At the very least, failing to address an issue such as this one shows a lack of responsibility. Assuming you wish to work for someone else in the future (i.e.not be self-employed your entire life) what guarantee can you offer your employer that you will protect the reputation of their organization when you've failed simply to protect your own?
 

hach_bee

Likes Bikes and Dirt
Don't even know where to start? People regularly insult each other face to face - suck it up and deal with it. But if you're happy to let anyone publish (and the operative word is publish here) crap about you and have that content freely available, then I think it speaks caustically of an inability to stand up for yourself.

I'm not suggesting Sam takes this shit to the High Court, but I don't think a courteous letter with a bit of substance behind it is at all unreasonable.
Yeah but it's teenage crap, not new. Everyone's got some kinda black mark against their name for dumb things they did when younger. Yeah sure it's published and out there (THESE DAYS), maybe I'm the minority who doesn't judge people on heresay and see two sides to each story (if not more). There's a difference between not standing up for yourself and wasting your energy for the tiniest chance of a desired outcome. If he really doesn't want anything to do with her, then why chase is and be involved in a clearly unproductive situation for any longer?

I agree with the letter in substance; but I did say being realistic about the situation, the letter is most likely going to do nothing. Or if anything open a new channel of communication between himself and this girl through which more shit is going to be thrown? Again, gains nothing?


While it's unfortunate that not everyone judges character based purely on your own actions, it is reality. If I was looking at two identical candidates, one with a messy personal life strewn all over the internet and one without, I know who I'd be calling for an interview. At the very least, failing to address an issue such as this one shows a lack of responsibility. Assuming you wish to work for someone else in the future (i.e.not be self-employed your entire life) what guarantee can you offer your employer that you will protect the reputation of their organization when you've failed simply to protect your own?
I know personally, my work and home lives are kept completely separate. I know that's a trait of being in service because you always bring your Game Face to work and you've got to the bright, bubbly entertainer. But I think a sign of maturity is knowing the time and place to bring such things in the open. My employer respects that I'm able to keep my life separate from my work, because at work, it's not about me! And that should apply to more than just my industry. I've shown my loyalty to my employer through my actions, staying after work to help after signing off (on some cases after not even working that day) and prioritising my work above other commitments. I'm yet to come across anyone who's facebooked me after an interview... and have never been denied a job after interview either.

In all honesty in your above scenario, if I found nothing on candidate B I'd think they had something to hide... but that's just me :D
 

Mattydv

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Cheers mate, I know which word I meant to use, and it was inflammatory (as in, synonymous with incendiary, which her blog clearly was from Sam's report). Not sure why you think people using it in this context are incorrect?
I've just always been under the impression that inflammatory was a technically incorrect word. It doesn't really change anything either way, so long as the matter get's resolved in Sam's mind.

I certainly wasn't trying to insinuate anything by correcting you. :fear:
 

Red Rocket

Likes Bikes and Dirt
I'm yet to come across anyone who's facebooked me after an interview... and have never been denied a job after interview either.
Don't mean to sound patronizing, because I'm in exactly the same position (student), but it sounds as though you haven't applied for higher profile jobs yet - might be why you haven't been subject to background checks.

I've just always been under the impression that inflammatory was a technically incorrect word. It doesn't really change anything either way, so long as the matter get's resolved in Sam's mind.

I certainly wasn't trying to insinuate anything by correcting you.
Haha, sorry bro, didn't mean to come off like a massive douchebag! The Wiki article is incorrect in this instance, unfortunately.
 

Reece.

Likes Dirt
Sam, do you two still have contact with each other? (Even the 'I fucking hate you' texts sort of kind.) I can't figure out why she is posting that sort of thing over a year later if you have no contact...

Also, just out of curiosity, how is the new girlfriend taking it all?
 

@nDr3w

Likes Dirt
So... Apparently my ex girlfriend has devoted every few posts or there abouts on her "tumblr?" blog to write something derogatory towards me, how much of an asshole i am, all this stuff i apparently do to her etc etc
Do you know any law students?
You rang?

Sam, have a look at this. It's the Defamation Act 2005(NSW), it's probably worth a read if you're seriously concerned:
http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/.../?stem=0&synonyms=0&query=defamation act 2005

Specifically, for defamation to have been committed, it must be proved that A published defamatory material about B to a third party. The elements of defamation are as follows:
i) The published matter IS defamatory
ii) A is identified as the person to whom the defamatory matter relates
iii) B published the defamatory matter


I wouldn't write a fake letter, that's just asking for trouble.
If you're really worried about it, talk to a solicitor/legal aid or something. Even try talking to the girl/her family. Legal action is often messy.
 

dog boy

Likes Dirt
Ignore it. Really, is it worth the time and energy chasing it up? For what outcome? She won't delete it Sam, realistically what's going to 'make her'? The cops aren't actually going to knock on her door and say 'Well excuse me Miss, you've written some nasty things, how about you go on and take those down...'

And for the record, if any prospective employer based their opinion of ME upon words written by someone else without knowing me- I wouldn't want to work for them anyway. That's about as mature as saying it to start with.


/RANT :D
Without trying to sound sexist or having a go a at you. This is a typical woman response because I guarantee you have a vent on the net too. quite often if something has annoyed me I wont let it go until I feel I have annoyed the other person equally as much. I would have some friends (girls) telling me to just leave it but it doesnt feel right untill you feel even.

Post the letter to her mum, tell her what has been said like RR suggested, provide a link to her blog because if its anything like girls blogs I have seen there will be some stuff on there they certainly dont want their mum seeing. That should annoy her, make you feel better, she will probably delete the blog and all the posts about you that go with it.

It does seem like a bit of over kill but if it makes you feel better not having them there.
 
J

JaRedy

Guest
So her mum literally moniters her facebook, and she is using this tumblr as a medium to say things she wouldnt want her mum to see? I think making her mum aware of the tumblr could have the potential to solve the problem for you. i.e. the mum will give her lots of crap about having the tumblr, and the comments are likely to be reduced or stopped.
You would still have to bring the blog to her mothers attention though. Personally i'd choose snail mail. A phone call would be awkies, an email can be easily ignored...but a letter in the mail is simply badass.

Also, just out of curiosity, how is the new girlfriend taking it all?
Thats got me curious too

-------------------

On a totally new topic, where is the love gentlemen and gentlewoman? Aye, the seas be rough, it would seem. It's not often we hear a story of good news and smooth sailing.
 

Norco Maniac

Is back!
On a totally new topic, where is the love gentlemen and gentlewoman? Aye, the seas be rough, it would seem. It's not often we hear a story of good news and smooth sailing.
i remember a song from a fifties movie about him loving her and she loves someone else....must try to dig it out of the old grey matter filing system.

i have a trio of trouble at the moment - a guy who has been trying to date me for years is still hassling despite me making it very plain (ad nauseum) that our lifestyles are incompatible. i've taken to avoiding even his calls.

another guy friend who i've known for 12 years and once had a thing with (we were both separated from our spouses at the time) is asking me for a relationship and keeps buying me gifts which i really feel badly about. trouble is, he lost his wife earlier this year and i feel he's nowhere near ready to take on something new. nor do i think his children would accept it.

the third is a guy i briefly dated about five years back who is telling me he's never forgotten me. he also wants a relationship, i'm worried about cultural differences though, he's Kenyan and has only been in Australia six years. i have enough trouble finding an Aussie man of my vintage willing to let me be something other than a hausfrau.


i think i'll just steer clear of the lot of them!
 
J

JaRedy

Guest
i think i'll just steer clear of the lot of them!
Haha it looks like you're tried that already and its not really working! What would happen if you got all three in a room together?


It seems like everyones posting up stories, I cant even remember the last time I posted something about me! So here is a little something about something from me:
My wonderful lady is wonderful as usual, coming up to a year and a half dating. The only problems we've ever had havent really been one of us against the other, but rather us being in crappy situations (mostly family related) imposed on us through other people which we have had to deal with. We play on a sporting team together, and I see her about twice a week, couple of hours at a time. All in all it seems nicely balanced, we support eachother with our study and a nice ratio of my time goes towards other friends, and theres no issues with 'riding time' which is how I like it.

Ill be getting her a bike for her 21st, honestly cant wait! I always give her crap about how she needs to come on rides, knowing fully well that she can barely even ride...but not to worry, i've been teaching her, i've taught her almost from scratch actually! And shes picked it up really well so far.

Next year she will be going away to a rural town to do teaching for two years which is going to be a killer! We have talked about it and there's plenty of confidence that its not going to be too much of an issue. We simply established that we are going to miss eachother truckloads and will try to visit whenever possible (most likely over christmas and between the semesters). The weird thing is that shes graduating soon and im only in first year of my course. So thats a bit of bugger. Ill graduate the year she comes back so at least I can be greatful for that.
Oh and shes really pretty...some would say hot... and thats pretty awesome.

So there you go, thats about 17% of my lady story in a nutshell. Hope ya'll enjoyed
 
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