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Thread: Bad Footy(AFL) Jokes

  1. #1
    Senior Member Mahoney_007's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Maddo WA

    Default Bad Footy(AFL) Jokes

    Heard some pearlers recently heres some for your enjoyment.....

    Michael Gardiner, a idiot, and an alcoholic all walk into a bar and the barman says.......
    "Drinking alone tonite Michael"

    Boom dosh

    *news Flash*
    All Eagles home games have officially been cancelled, they will all be played at the MCG due to the fact that the surface at Subiaco has been deamed unsafe and liable to cause extensive injuries. A spokesman for the club has announced they will have the problem rectifyied by the end of the season, asked about the future of certain club officals he said...
    "Look mate we have already sacked our Gardiner"

    Boom dosh

    So why do they call Chris Connolly a Mini Bus?....
    Well you can hardly call him a Coach.

    Boom dosh

    Whats the difference between St Kilda and a Bra......
    A bra actually has support and 2 cups

    boom dosh...

    Tickled my fancy :D :p

    Iron Mongrel

  2. #2
    Senior Member nick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003

    Thumbs up

    Aww absoloute gold mate. Good find :D

  3. #3
    Senior Member Registered Nutter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005


    that st kilda one is good
    Dont pay out nerds...chances are you'll end up working for em.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Rider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Ivanhoe, Melbourne


    From an email a while ago

    If football teams were women

    Sydney would be J-Lo - Quality all over, but especially good down back..

    West Coast would be Kylie Minogue - very decent despite not having much up front.

    Fremantle would be Danii Minogue - Always trying hard to be as good as her big sister, but will never measure up. The butt of everyone's jokes.

    St Kilda would be Krystal from Big Brother - has the biggest and best assets going around, but we all know they're not the real deal.

    Brisbane would be Elle MacPherson - past her glorious best but still easy on the eye and an old favourite with most.

    Port Power would be Madonna - also past her glorious best, but refuses to accept it gracefully.

    Carlton would be Whitney Houston - has not looked after herself in recent years and has gone completely off the rails.

    Adelaide would be Delta Goodrem - tidy, attractive, professional and uncontroversial. Nice to look at, but for some reason just makes you want to yawn.

    Geelong would be Britney Spears - at times can look stunning, at others it can get ugly.

    Essendon would be Katie Holmes - has a certifiable psycho in charge of her every move. Has lost credibility in recent times.

    The Kangaroos would be Paris Hilton - lays down way too easily.

    Richmond would be Annabel Chong - can cop a pounding and keep coming back for more, all in the name of self-improvement.

    Western Bulldogs would be Shakira - proof that being short is no barrier to getting you excited. Will only get better too.

    Hawthorn would be Christina Aguilera - looks like she enjoys it rough and dirty.

    Melbourne would be Princess Di - may be a blue blood, but hasn't done anything for a while.

    Collingwood would be Amelie Mauresmo - last woman on Earth scenario: you still wouldn't.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Christo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005


    A child took the extraordinary step of divorcing himself from his parents as they regularily beat him.

    The judge decided to place the child with his grandmother.

    The child became agitated and said

    "She beats me worse than my mum & dad"

    The judge decided the child should live with his aunt.

    "She beats me worse than my mum, dad and grandma together"

    The judge needed time to deliberate & the case was adjourned.

    Next session, the judge announced he would be awarding custody to the Essendon football club because after much thought, it was decided they couldn't beat anyone.

    Bada boom..
    I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Cletus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    the Gong NSW


    is this just resricted to afl jokes? if not heres an nrl one.

    whats this?( licking fingers)

    john hoppalate picking man of the match.
    hahahah an oldie but a goodie:D
    Better to regret the things you have done insted of the things you have'nt

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2003


    this is not a work of fiction, but is still funny, an shows how bigger meatheads footy players really are

    barry hall after his incident with st kilda defender (think it was matt maguire) in last years semi final:

    'he is a really good actor... he deserves a grammy'

    .....the grammy being a music award

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