It's hard dude. She begged for me back and then she left again for schoolies right that second. A night later and she got with some complete F^%&wit. Now...she's gone for good and by her choice not mine. How the hell does that work? After all this im still trying to make things work. The will of my heart is starting to get the best of me.
All i can hope for right now is that she goes through complete hell without me and suffers
alot.
....I'd take her back right now in a heartbeat
Women do this when they break up with you. It's this mechanism they subconsciously employ because they aren't used to the lack of attention from their ex-boyfriends. I had it done, non-stop, for like 12 months, and eventually I learned that revenge is a dish best served cold. You might want her back, but no matter how hard she tries to get your attention you've got to be emotionless toward her...she'll freak twice as hard, and you'll get some dignity back.
As you said, all you can hope for right now is that she goes through complete hell without you...trust me when I say that
she is. You don't come out of a two-year relationship feeling no remorse or sadness, which is also why she may have turned to this other guy...to try replicate something you two had. Small comfort, I know, but it's most probably true.
I have to ask though, and this is simply for my personal interest because I remember going through identical experiences in the weeks and months after my long-term relationship break-up...why do you think you'd take her back in a heartbeat? Really think about this, and it may help clear things up in your head. Is it something the does or says, or the way she looks at you? Or just her general aura? Or something else altogether?
As i've said before, let yourself grieve, and then learn and grow from this shit...you'll be so much better off for it.