-Rise and shine at 5.30am.
-Wake the dog with my morning fart who promptly jumps out of her bunker outside, shakes her head to wake her ears up and stretches.
-Spend twenty minutes trying to get my wife out of bed.
-Walk the dog on the beach or in the 'hood. If going to the beach, we guess how many other dogs we will see on the beach and whoever is closest doesn't need to make the breakfast.
-If time permits, I do a twenty minute run on the way home.
-Get brekky ready for the wife and the dog being careful not to serve the raw lamb shank to the wrong bowl.
-Shave and shower, brush teeth, floss etc etc.
-Give the dog her share of the banana and say see ya later.
-Warm the car up, check that nothing has been in my Batcave and nothing has been touched or moved.
-Spend ten minutes driving to work with Australia's fair share of the world's most inconsiderate arsehole fuckwit drivers sharing the road with me whilst skipping to the next shuffled song on my Ipod only to arrive at work unsatisfied that I didn't get one great tune in!
-Say a friendly G'day to the workshop guys as I walk towards my office, open the door and decide which of the bludging fuckers I'm going to pick on today.
-Put my smoko and lunch in my bar fridge under my desk, start the PC up and do the staff pays first thing.
-Spend a fair chunk of my work day on the internet "doing advertising and checking websites for potential purchases" relating to my job. Deep down you all know what the internet was invented for and it ain't fucking work.
-Catch up at smoko with the other office guru's about what awesome shit went down the night before. It usually revolves around a wild unit we have who slays one or two random girls a night. It's a crack up, he's not sure if he has "little Johnny's" running around and gives zero fucks as every girl he plows is sober and willing. He's a candidate for jail any day now.
-By lunchtime I've usually raged at some incompetent bafoon for wasting time and doing a bad job of something he's done for ten years. That's just to remind them that I'm still here and watching them!
-At lunch I read whatever book I'm part way through and play some handheld games on my Vita. I get 45 minutes for lunch but always take an hour as I get paid 7.36 hours a day although I'm there for nine hours a day. Fight the power.
-At 4.52pm I pack up and bolt. I'll either go for a run on the beach or head home and play with the dog for an hour and tinker on bikes or do jobs in the yard or head out for a night ride. Other weeknights I'll play basketball or get dinner cranking while wifey is at the gym.
-We have very similar taste in TV series so we watch whatever we're up to for that night while eating dinner. I especially like eating dinner while watching Hannibal. Strangely, the meat we're eating always tastes .........more game?
-After dinner I'll chuck the headphones on and play video games for a few hours. That's my wind down, my escape.
-Believe it or not, when we jump into bed we tell fictional stories to each other about whatever we think of. It either puts you to sleep or ah.........doesn't.