Becoming a dad.

[Wellsey]

So my wife is 15 weeks pregnant with our 1st child.

I gotta admit that I am a bit nervous about the whole thing - there are so many things to think about.

Is the baby going to be healthy? - We can tell via the ultrasound that there is the right amount of fingers and toes, and they tell us that everything is 100% at this stage, but man, you can't help but stress a little about it.

The birth - Has to be the number one worry. Do we pay 5 grand to have the birth privately? Everyone tells us that the public system is top rate and has very few issues and excellent support for the family immediately after the birth. My wife is a normal healthy woman, 25 years old, fit and healthy, so there shouldn't be any issues there.
Having said that, one my colleagues at work was kind enough to scare the shit out of me with the story of his 1st sons birth, during which his wife haemorraged and nearly died. Cheers for that Russel!

Names - Girls names are easy as, the wife and I are agreed on that front, but boys names, bloody hell!

I am having a farkin hard time coming up with a name for my 1st born son (if its a boy), I mean it's a pretty big responsibility isn't it?

Buying stuff - You would always like your kids to have the best of everything, but I guess it's all dictated by budget eh? And fark me, isn't it dear?!?! It's put my schedule for my new Santa Cruz back about 6 months

Plus, every other little thing that I didn't even consider, and all the stuff thats yet to hit me.

I'm in for a big adventure.....

 

[BM Epic]

Good luck wellsey,and congratulations,it will be the best thing that can ever happen to you!
I got 2 daughters aged 12 and 14,and they are my life fullstop,you will feel the same way!
You are right,it is an adventure,but between you and the missus,make it a partnership!
Good luck brother!

 

[Pete J]

Names - Girls names are easy as, the wife and I are agreed on that front, but boys names, bloody hell!
I am having a farkin hard time coming up with a name for my 1st born son (if its a boy), I mean it's a pretty big responsibility isn't it?

Yes, it sure is! Do the child a favour and give them a good solid name rather than one of those trendy misspelled pseudo-names.
All the best to both of you.

 

[RCOH]

First up - Congratulations! it is scary but trust me it is hella (stop saying hella!) fun & rewarding.

After the 19-20 week ultrasound you get a good idea of the foetus' overall 'health'. If you are still unsure you can opt for an amnioscintesis (sp?) which is an invasive procedure (basically using a large needle to get a sample of womb tissue/fluid that has a lot more detail about the baby's status) but your doctor will advise you if you need one or not. Don't worry, things go well much more often they don't.

Go public. I had premature twins through the public system & could not have had better care. Private, you can pay all the cash, but if the baby comes when your obstetrician isn't available then you are just going to get the public resident anyway. If the private ward is crowded you will still have to share a room and the nurses do not care any more/work any harder just because you have paid extra. I have nothing but praise for the public system. And this is taking into account friends who have had babies through the private system.

Names are totally personal, can't really advise you there. When choosing our boys' names we made sure it didn't sound silly when said with our surname, kind of took into account possible teasing instances but not really. We chose names we liked, plain & simple. My boys' names are:

Jem Colin Samwise O'Hara
William Peter Frodo O'Hara

Jem after the character from 'To Kill A Mockingbird' and Jem Finer from the Pogues. William (bill) after william wallace. Colin & Peter are my & my partner's fathers names. Bill had a possible brain problem that was diagnosed in utero so we named Jem Samwise & Bill Frodo because Samwise always has Frodo's back.

As for buying stuff. Get the basics, and buy whatever else you need as you really need it. People will pass on/give you heaps of stuff, if only to clear out their own houses!

Congratulations once again, you are in for a fantastic ride!

 

[sunny]

Welcome to impending parernthood. You think the stress is bad now....
As a female, the pregnancy stuff is pretty amazing, and I imagine it would all be a little strange for the bloke.
The Birth: Don't listen to the stories. For every gory, scary story, there is another one that was easy and not gory. And at the end of the day, what goes in, must come out, and nothing can stop that one.
Got to agree with Pete J about the names. Heard about a couple that wanted to call their child 4real....tragic.
Yes, kids are expensive, but at the end of the day, as BM Epic says, they become your life. (Got to say I'm impressed you've only had to set back the Santa Cruz for 6 months...I'm still waiting and mine are 3 and 5).

Enjoy the journey, this one is for life.

 

[murrum]

Big congrats. Plenty of advice in here so I'll focus on two areas:
Boy Names - Max Power (nuff said really) - if you have to, just use Max. And piss the middle name off - who uses it anyway?

Right onto buying stuff... Expensive.....bullshit.
Check out vinnies and other op-shops. Ebay as well. We never set foot in one of those "baby" stores, avoid them like the plague - annoying, cloying staff that tell you you need a load of crap - try not to be a mindless consumer - "baby" marketing is insidious as it preys on our guilt that we're not "doing enough". Clothes - you will be given heaps, just grab the basics new, singlets, tshirts and jumpsuits. Everything else scour the second hand stores - you will find some really cool stuff that is hardly used for next to nothing. Prams, cots, car seats, baby bjorns etc - Ebay is your friend. I'll even admit to picking up a stroller at the tip....

Best advice for managing a young bub I got from a young couple (late teens) that rocked up to our antenatal class with a three week old. He said "if it works do it again, if it doesnt work, dont" sounds simple - but very helpful, for me anyway. They were impressive.

Fun times ahead.

 

[flying high dh killer]

What ever you do, don't call it after a fruit, city, planet, tayla, or some weird afro-american name that is completely bizarre.

P.S agree with Max Power as said above, alternatively Michael because I'm called Michael and I'm awesome.

 

[ja_har]

Congrats Mate, your in for the ride of your life, well worth it in all senses.

Our first born recently turned one, it seems like yesterday I was like a deer in the headlights, but once you realise their ain't nothing you can do stop this train and go with the flow it all become a lot easier and less stressful. My wife's mother was a midwife for 30 years and the best advice she ever gave us was 'Ask lots questions, listen and then make your own decisions on what's best for you, your partner and the bub. Listen to your instincts and listen to your partners.' That made a us feel a lot more relaxed because mostly their is no right and no wrong and you just make the best decision you can in the moment from all the available educated information and go with what fells best for you.

As for public v private. I cant praise the public system enough, the care, professionalism and thoughtfulness we got from a resourced staffed public system was brilliant. Lately all the hard done by stories I hear seem to come from private patients, the money saved can be well used bringing up the bub and most of the time the service is much the same anyway.

As for names, we found girls names so hard and boys easy. Everyone is different. My thought was go with a name you would be proud of if it was yours in the playground and as an adult.

Good luck.

As for the new santa cruz, dont worry about the 6 month wait, you probably wouldn't get much time to ride it for a while yet anyway...

PS, and Murrum is perfectly right re buying stuff, DO NOT visit baby stores, the guilt and marketing is amazing. You need 1/4 of what you think you do and and lots of it will be given as pressies anyway. What you dont get, get on ebay later on for 1/2 price.

 

[jaseh]

Congrats to you wellsey.

We have 3 kids, first 2 were born in private hospitals. The last one born 4 weeks ago was born in a public hospital, We wish we went public for all 3 and saved the $8-10,000 odd that we spent having the other 2.
Private is overrated as far as we are concerned. You can still have the same Dr all the way through the pregnancy with public, although they don't deliver the baby the midwife does in public. Not an issue as the midwife is always there with you. The Dr can be away when you need them most in private and the midwives we had wouldn't do anything without the Dr's OK, so had to wait for everything. The anesthetist had to be called in for both private births which we got hit with a callout fee for both (first one was late at night so expected, second was 9am in the morning), where as the public hospital had one there in the hospital, not that we needed it third time round as he was out quick.
My partner was home after 16hrs with the last birth, we had a midwife come to our house every day for a week after that. We have also found,in our experience that the midwives seem to be more experienced in the public sector. It seemed the private sector is full of ones just out of uni with no real world experience. Just our observation.

As for names we found the 2 girls names easy. The boys name was a nightmare, we took forever to decide then I changed my mind with a week to go so had to find another one.

 

[CraigS]

Congratulations Wellsey on your impending parenthood.

I became a dad for the first time on the 1st February this year to twins.
I see myself as the luckiest guy on earth as my wife and I had a boy and girl.
The perfect pigeon pair. So that's it we're done

Now six and a half weeks (although it feels like 6 years) later I am a gun at changing nappies and burping them.

I would certainly suggest going public as I don't think we could have possibly had better help through private. The nurses and midwives have been awesome.

Make sure you take lots of photos as you can't get those moments back, we have taken hundreds of photos.

I don't know your whole family situation but we were lucky enough to be the last of our siblings to have children so the hand-me-downs rolled in.
Basically we don't need to buy any clothes till they are teenagers although we still will.

Make sure your misses has a baby shower as you get all the little things you normally would forget to buy.
Buy nappies in bulk when on sale, I bought 8 boxes of newborn (108) for $26 in a sale at Coles 4 months before they were due.

Beleive it or not I only missed one weekend ride since they were born (having good trails 5mins away can help here).

Enjoy your freedom while you still have it as they are alot of work once they arrive but worth every bit of no sleep, headaches from the screaming/crying and constantely being asked to do something when you are in the middle of something else.

If you have the ability to take some time off work to enjoy your new arrival do it, I saved up my long service leave and annual leave and have taken 4 months off work, don't know how I am going to go back

Hope some of my lessons learned help you and good luck mate

 

[CP]

We had (premature) twin identical boys 3 weeks ago today.

Another one to praise the public system. We were lucky and had no issue leading to, or during the birth. Boys were 1 min apart! We had our own room anyway, and all the help/advice we could ask for.

I haven't found it expensive at all due to one magic place - Ebay. That, and some generous family and friends. I'm back riding, although think my fitness and alert levels are highly diminished right now!

And my advice? Have them premature man, they sleep so much it's great! Ha! (kidding). Good luck. Your wife being 25, there's far less chance of complications at her age dude.

PS another to praise simple names. Ours are Toby and Blake. I had to laugh when a midwife asked me how I wanted to spell Toby. Obviously she'd had some git in wanting to spell it Tobi or something lame. Fok that I say. I found the boys names easy and girls hard. Whatever you do, don't bother with name books. They're full of weird 'multicultural' and fancily-spelt names. About 1 in every 100 names you would actually think twice about.

Craig, just read your post. Far out, twins everywhere right now! Got to agree, the nappies are a breeze yet are what I had feared most!

Last comment - I took my leave (still on it) from when my boys came home, not from when they were born. I am more useful to my boys and wife now we're on their own rather than with all the help in the hospital. It was hard because I didn't want to leave them, but like I say, the time is more valuable now as we're still getting the hang of things, how to settle them etc. So far so good!

 

[mongoosedh]

I haven't found it expensive at all due to one magic place - Ebay. That, and some generous family and friends. I'm back riding, although think my fitness and alert levels are highly diminished right now!

And my advice? Have them premature man, they sleep so much it's great! Ha! (kidding). Good luck. Your wife being 25, there's far less chance of complications at her age dude.

25!! Geez got in early didn't he!

Egg, I assume you're looking more and more like your avatar every day?

 

[CP]

Ha! Yep just add a few empties on the table, and some stubble!

Boys are tucked in, and the wife is going to do the 2am feed solo. I get the 6am honours. Oh well, means I am making the 8am Manly Dam ride if we keep to this shhedule!

 

[Gambit]

Congratulations and Welcome to the best, most exciting thrill ride of your life.

You are going to have the best time ever and you will now totally understand UNCONDITIONAL love. One minute they will be sh!tting you up the wall and the next you'll be cuddling them.

I have 3 myself Cajun 7, Connor 2, and Allora 6 months. They are everything to me and every thing they do is awesome. Even the tiniest thing is so so cute.

When choosing names please make sure (for their sake) that you think of every possible taunt, tease etc... so that you dont give them a name like...
Chris Unwin Nigel Truman (look at the initials)

Although kids are very ingenious and will still come up with some taunt. Just don't make it easy.

I too praise the public system. We always had the best care and advise. It really was easy.

The birth is a bit yukky but as soon as you look into your baby's eyes all that will be forgotten. And don't be afraid to have a little joyous cry. Even if you blame it on a dusty room as I did

You are going to LOVE it all and you can mould them into a mini you.

 

[johnny]

The best advice you could ever be given about a pending childbirth is:

Name the mofo johnny.




Congratulations mate. I hope he/she is healthy and it doesn't matter what you name it, just give it the best opportunity and future you possibly can. The rest will work itself out.

 

[Michae1]

So my wife is 15 weeks pregnant with our 1st child.

Congrats to you both

I'm stoked to be a dad of 2 boys, Blade (2) and Zane (1).

Wouldn't give them back/away for anything.

One minute they will be sh!tting you up the wall and the next you'll be cuddling them

ABSOLUTELY TRUE!



I've personally found that the key to not going completely insane is to BUY WIGGLES DVDS (seriously) keep things simple, go with the flow, trust your instincts, don't worry too much, kids even as newborns are very resilient and they are without doubt going to get hurt, when one of my boys have a fall/bump around the house, ie: running into a door frame after mis judging the door, it happened the other day and was actually pretty funny to see(cruel bastard I know ) if they get straight up and keep going they're fine, if they don't give them a quick hug, check limbs etc and give them a drink and they'll be right.

As far as clothing goes, you don't need heaps of "good" clothes they grow too fast to be spending spastic amounts of money on clothing, I make sure that my boys are neat and tidy when we go out, but for around the house, cheap ass tees and shorts do the trick.

The birth side of things mate, we went through the local public hospital and can't say a bad word about the maternity and special care wards there.

trust the medical team to make sure you all come out of the experience as healthy as possible.

Blade was born via emergency c-section thanks to my partner suffering pre-clampsia, but that wasn't a full blown emergency and was the only worry through the whole process, even though he spent 2 weeks in a special care unit we never really felt he was in any trouble, Zane on the other hand was born without a issue, but also by c-section.

We had a genetic fark up cause us minor headaches with both boys (both needing surgery before they were 4 weeks old)

Oh yeah....have fun too, thats pretty important.

 

[Gambit]

Congrats to you both

Blade was born via emergency c-section thanks to my partner suffering pre-clampsia, but that wasn't a full blown emergency and was the only worry through the whole process, even though he spent 2 weeks in a special care unit we never really felt he was in any trouble, Zane on the other hand was born without a issue, but also by c-section.

C section, Lucky Bastard <--- meaning that the original elasticity of the Vergine (borat talk) remains as good as new

AS Michael said Just get like 2 good going out outfits. They do grow too quick and they always spill cr@p on them and will stain them anyway

And one of the best investments (all $5 of it from BigW) was a thomas the tank engine DVD. It has 24 5 minute episodes and is perfect for sexytime. It keeps my 2 year old very occupied

 

[Gambit]

Although usually 2 minutes does the job for me

 

[Christo]

Congrats, my partner is now 5 days overdue - lazy bugger just wont come out.

Will it be healthy - you hear all the scary stories - except the 99% that are fine, they're the ones you don't hear about, if it's not 100% healthy, the outlook isn't all bad, you'll love it no matter what.

The birth - again, 99% of births around the world go without a hitch - you just remember the horror stories. We're going public, I'm not worried, neither is she.

Names - you've got heaps of time, we chose one boy & one girl & have stuck with them (I'm trying to make the middle name 'stumpjumper' but for some strange reason my partner isn't so keen)

Buying stuff - Holy shite there's a lot, especially in our consumerist society. Choice magazine/website can point you to the quality stuff that's not overpriced. And then just wait until she's in nesting mode!

Are you going to find out the sex? We didn't and although it's been hard, I think we'll have more of a surprise, we're pretty excited.

 

[CP]

We had fun naming the twins. I had heaps of ideas that were shot down strangely, such as Beavis and Butthead, Bert and Ernie, Terrance and Phillip, Search and Destroy, and my favourite; Lenny and Carl.