Jehovah's witnesses at my door and the evolution of boobies

Mywifesirrational

I however am very normal. Trust me.
Just had what appeared to be two well dressed real estate agents knocking at my door.

But it turned out to be bloody Jehovah witnesses... in 2014, They didn't tell me this outright but referred to it as JW and tried to get me some pamphlet crap.

I was currently trying to settle my son, get him off to sleep, they unsettled them, I lost my temper told them to fuck off or get stabbed, along with a little more abuse about being female, stupid, brain washed... expecting the police around at any moment, or today tonight perhaps.

I have do not knock stickers on my mail box and front door, law should be your allowed to smash any arsehole sales prick that knocks...

I am having trouble beleiving this still occurs.

rant over
 

fridgie

Likes Dirt
First thing to do, scream at them to put your name in the f#@king book never ever to return!!

They skip my place like a plague now lol
 

T.3

Likes Dirt
You probably encouraged them to come back again, they probably now think you're in even more need of "redemption".

I had two come around a little while ago despite the no knock stickers on gate and door. I was just coming back from walking my two large dogs and also carrying my daughter in a baby bjorn. I politely told them I wasn't interested but they were quite persistent and started talking about how cute my daughter was to keep the dialogue open. One then tried to approach my daughter and I politely explained it wasn't advisable to get between my dogs and my child who was strapped to me on my property with them being uninvited strangers and all. That seemed to do the trick.

That would shit me too nothing worse than putting your child down for a sleep and uninvited and unwanted door knockers showing up.
 

Knuckles

Lives under a bridge
I had this problem years ago, we have a kingdom hall a couppla ks down the road. We'd get the knock at least once a week and telling to never come back, would not work. I answered the door to them in nothing but a towel once, when I seen who it was the towel, somehow, came loose and dropped to the floor. Haven't seen them since.
 

PINT of Stella. mate!

Many, many Scotches
Reminds me of an incident years back when I was living up in the Shetland Islands and working at the local oil terminal.

In town you used to see these two young clean cut american (possibly canadian) brothers - I think they were twins. blond hair, glasses, identical smart white shirts. They were always trying to hand out flyers to passers-by for their local freaky church.

During this time I was sharing a house with an absolute bear of a man. Jeff, he was called. Really nice bloke but like a lot of folk up in the islands he was an absolute raging alcoholic. He'd stay sober for a few days then go on these massive 3-4 day benders that would usually be kicked off by him knocking back a pint glass 1/3 full of orange juice and 2/3 vodka and continuing in that fashion until gravity got the better of him. Like I said, he was a bear of a man. 6'2" and probably around 120kg. When he got fucked up it was usually best to hide in your room and batten down the hatches as shit would get broken.

He was also a bit of a spiritual man however and had once spent some time in a buddhist monastery somewhere out in the hills south of Edinburgh. These factors were all rather unfortunate for the two young religious brothers when they decided to go door knocking around the local village when Jeff was in middle of one his mad binges.

Evidently they had knocked on our door and must have been surprised when Jeff invited them in, certainly I was surprised when I came home from work that day and found Jeff with his new found religious buddies discussing all things metaphysical. Well, I say 'discussing'. In reality Jeff was aggressively staggering around the room, gesturing wildly and using his best 'outside voice' whilst the two young god-botherers were huddled together in the corner with a look of pure terror in their eyes murmuring the occasional timid agreement.

I think when I walked in they were hoping I would distract Jeff long enough for them to bolt but I just something along the lines of "Ah I see you've got guests, I won't bother you for now" and fucked off to the pub laughing my arse off!

I don't know how long they were stuck there - Jeff could barely remember them ever having been there at the time- but I never saw them come past our village again.
 

stirk

Burner
I like knuckles approach but in my area they sometimes come in well dressed family packs complete with kids! Hard to be rude or nude then.

I've got an old 1st gen Hilux 4Runner out the front and they never bother me, even when I am out the front yard they just look over and keep on walking.

Beat up old cars work better than a no knock sticker!!
 

lewis84 lewis84

Likes Dirt
They love this here too! It's like a bloody family outing, though only the blokes get out of the car. Last time I invited them to bring their wives in, we'd have a drink and see where it took us. They weren't particularly keen though...
 

pharmaboy

Eats Squid
I found engaging in bible quoting exercise was reasonably fun. Years ago now, I didn't let them in, but I had plenty of time on my hands so we stood at the door and I brought all my catholic religious studies to bare. It only took 5 minutes for them to start looking for an exit, so the ladies went away and brought the man to me.

They do see atheism as job too hard though.

Mormons are still around, I cut em a break , they don't need more abuse than they already cop
 

Skydome

What's invisible and smells like hay?
To be honest, you sound like you have anger problems.

Just tell them you're not interested and close the door and re-attend to your kid, what you said to them could be taken as a credible threat of violence.
 

stirk

Burner
To be honest, you sound like you have anger problems.

Just tell them you're not interested and close the door and re-attend to your kid, what you said to them could be taken as a credible threat of violence.
Spoken like a man with no kids or heaps of patience!

If you have a Do Not Knock sticker they should not knock, I'd be angry, sometimes it's hard to settle kids.

I think charities are ok to knock but people selling stuff should bugger off.

They are selling their religion while they might not ask for money at your door if they suck you into their faith you pay.
 

scblack

Leucocholic
I haven't had god-botherers appear at my door for ages. Knuckles beat me to it, I was going to suggest answering the door nude. That's what I'll be doing to the next ones at my place.
 

omac

Likes Dirt
My Mum is a JW so I was brought up with her strict rules but she divorced Dad when I was 13 & that's when I told her I hate all religion...especially hers. Iv had nothing to do with her for over 25 years & its all because of her fucking religion.

PS If you really want to scare the Bjesus out of em just answer the door with a really satanic Slayer t shirt & ask them if they'd like to join in with your regular blood orgies haha
 

John U

MTB Precision
Just had what appeared to be two well dressed real estate agents knocking at my door.

But it turned out to be bloody Jehovah witnesses... in 2014, They didn't tell me this outright but referred to it as JW and tried to get me some pamphlet crap.

I was currently trying to settle my son, get him off to sleep, they unsettled them, I lost my temper told them to fuck off or get stabbed, along with a little more abuse about being female, stupid, brain washed... expecting the police around at any moment, or today tonight perhaps.

I have do not knock stickers on my mail box and front door, law should be your allowed to smash any arsehole sales prick that knocks...

I am having trouble beleiving this still occurs.

rant over
They hit us up this morning too. We have the do not knock stickers up as well. There must be a recruitment drive or something.
 

Breaka

Likes Bikes and Dirt
My wife was brought up in a JW family. So my MIL, FIL, BIL, SIL and her extended family are all JW with my wife and her youngest sister the exception. It doesn't really affect my relationship with her family as it's not something that's openly talked about or discussed when I'm around.

From what I can gather people who have grown up in a practicing JW family either embrace it or completely shun it. I tear it to shreds when the Mrs and I discuss it, sometimes to the point where I attack her family which evidently leaves her feeling pretty upset. Something I definitely have to be careful about, even though she agrees with my views on it majority of the time.

My observation is that people who follow it love their god/religion more so than the family that surrounds them. This can be pretty detrimental and from what I can tell allows people to become quite easily shunned or ostracised from church groups or even worse, family. I also found that church elders are made aware of issues that may be present among their church groups and can weigh in on what's happening among family members (ie divorce, feuds, abuse). Another thing I've noticed is just how cliquey JW's can be. It's seems that everyone knows who the other JW's are in the area and their social groups and business dealings are always preferenced to other JW's.


There must be a recruitment drive or something.
That's the name of their game!
 

oriion

Likes Dirt
I get my 16 year old son to come to the door with me and then i proceed to ask them their stance on gay marriage.

They leave pretty quickly :)
 

Klips

Likes Dirt
I have a snake, so the few times they've knocked I appear with a snake around my neck and a defrosting rat held in my tongs. Works a charm, haven't seen them in a few years despite living two streets from a Kingdom Hall.
 

Mywifesirrational

I however am very normal. Trust me.
To be honest, you sound like you have anger problems.

Just tell them you're not interested and close the door and re-attend to your kid, what you said to them could be taken as a credible threat of violence.
No anger issues here and I am generally very tolerant of peoples beliefs and practices, as long as they are NOT pushing them onto me outside my front door. That's right about when patience and tolerance is at zero.

I have several Do No knock Stickers, whilst religous orgonisations appear to be exempt as they aren't selling a tangible product, I expect them to have enough respect for myself and others how clearly display these stickers not to bother us.

They did not identify themselves or their purpose for annoying me, when I worked out what they were on about I told them I was not interested - neither politely or rude, my son is screaming in the room behind me, he HATES daytime naps and fights it everyday. They then kept trying to keep the conversation going, that when the abuse and stabbing threats started.

I hope they took the threat of violence seriously, while stabbing wasn't going to happen, getting knocked down my front steps would. A also admit I have a fondness for kids selling chocolates, don't mind when they knock.
 

indica

Serial flasher
what you said to them could be taken as a credible threat of violence.
Which is fair. He could state it was in self defence. Some deluded lunatic comes to your door and spouts irrational lunatic shite in your face and you have every right to return the threat with actual violence.
The Criminal Code states as much.
 

TKITEZ

Likes Bikes
maybe once a year they seem to appear, i just take pamphlet say thanks and put it in the recycling bin :yo:
 
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