Constable Care
Likes Dirt
Im sure youve seen it before but its still funny
How Many Students Does It Take To Screw On A Light Bulb?
Monte Sant' Angelo Mercy College- Four. One to change the light
bulb. One to mind her spot in the canteen line, one to notify the Sisters to start a chapel service about the event and one to notify the business office so the bulb can be billed to their accounts
Scot's - Two. One to mix the martinis and one to phone the electrician.
PLC - One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Sydney Grammar - Two. One to change the bulb and one to crack under the pressure.
James Ruse Agricultural - Four. One to design a nuclear powered one that never needs changing, two to install it and one to write the computer program that controls the switch.
Forest High - Two. One to change the bulb and one to figure out how to get high off the old one.
Loretto Kirribilli - One. She'll put through a call to maintenance staff because there's no way she's going to do manual labour.
King's - Two. One to change the globe faster than anyone in the GPS one to show him around the school afterwards.
Knox Grammar - Two. One to install the new bulb completely powered by testosterone and one to brag about it loudly.
Riverside Girls - Five. one to change the bulb, while the rest watch out for the flasher while maintaining it is "their right as women in john howards electorate"
Holy Cross - Four. One to call a riverside girl to come do it while the rest look up her skirt while she's up the ladder.
Ryde Secondary - Three. One to hold the ladder, one to change the bulb, while the other asks "wait dont we go to malvina dude?" "no its ryde secondary" "no malvina" "ryde seconday" etc etc
Cranbrook - Six. One to change the bulb and five to support its sexual orientation.
Ravenswood - Five. One tochange the bulb, two to reassure her that she doesn't look fat at the top of the ladder and two to circulate photos showing that she does.
Abbotsleigh - Four. One to smash the glass ceiling so that they can to the top of the ladder, one to install the globe and two to check that it's brighter than PLC's.
Shore - Sixteen. One to send out the invitations, two to get the beer, one to change the bulb, one to buy Ralph Lauren polos for everyone, two to smuggle the chicks in and one to keep watch for the boarding master. The second eight just need to be ready to back them up.
Newington. - None. They're all too drunk to notice.
Killara High - Two. One to change the bulb and one to write to the North Shore Times about how she did it as well as any private school student.
Santa Sabina - None. They're all down at Strathfield station having a ciggie.
St Pat's, Strathfield - Ten. One to change it and one to buy the hair gel to impress the Santa Sabina chicks, while the rest compete wiv da Christian Bruvvers for da turf (Strathfield Station).
Hills Grammar - 13. One to change it. Twelve to make sure its better than Oakhills.
Burwood Girls - None, that shithole looks better in the dark. So does Strathfield Girls by the way.
Homebush Boys High - Fourteen. One to change it, one to throw the old one at the St Pat's boys and 12 to kick the crap out of each other in the meantime.
Strathfield Girls - Three. One will chnage it. The other will orally explain to the Homebush Boys about how to change it. The third will statistically demonstrate how they beat Burwood Girls in the HSC again.
Macdonald college - Five. One to change the bulb and four to do interpretive dance about how the light feels.
Barrenjoey High - Eleven. One to change it and ten to share the experience.
Joey's - Fifteen. It's not that one's not smart enough, it's just that they're a team and they have to form a lineout and get the backs into position.
Tangara- None, if they turn on the lights everyone will be blinded by there **** orange uniform, then their daddys will have to fight a court case for them.
Redfield College - Sixteen.One to change it, 10 to get drunk and laugh at the guy changing it and 5 to pray that everything goes down smoothly.
Barker College - Fifteen. One to change it and the rest to walk around as if they own the place and talk it up.
SCEGGS Redlands - Three. One to change the bulb and two to nick down to Bed, Bath and Table to buy a Jacquard shade for it in the new season's colours.
Queenwood - Depends, could be one, could be ten, no-one is prepared to commit unless the Shore boys are definitely going to be there.
Mercy College - Five, one to screw it in, two to laugh about the word screw and twoto message the St Pius boys about it.
St Pius X - Three, one to get word around that the Mercy girls are talking about a screw, one to replace the bulb and one to pray that they get it done in time to beat the Chatswood High boys the Mercy party.
Brigidine - None. It's too hard to find a new globe with their sunglasses.
Tyndale - None. They're all too busy at westpoint blacktown.
Girraween High - Two. One student and one teacher but not before they make out.
Riverview - Five. One to change it, and four to go to Gowings for new flannelette shirts to wear for the occasion.
Ascham - One, because she's a unique, self motivated, individual.
Kincoppal - Three. One to change it and two to make sure her hair ribbons are still in place afterwards.
Patrician Brothers - None. All the homies wana stay in the dark like hard core ****.
Sydney Girl's High - One and she was determined to get better results than the Sydney Boys.
Sydney Boy's High - None. They didn't have to, the Sydney Girls insisted on showing them how it was done.
North Sydney Girl's - One and she will make sure it was the best installation ever.
Tara - Five. One to replace the globe, three to figure out that she screwed it in upside down and one to phone her brother at Kings and him to send over his mates to show them how to screw the right way up.
Hunters Hill High - None, Are you kidding they're all too bent!
Kambala.- Two. One to change the bulb and one to phone daddy to pay for it.
Oakhill - Twelve.One to go to Towers to buy it. Ten to go down there with him to hang out at the bus stop. And one to Change it.
St Aloyisius - Three. One to put in a formal complaint about the imposition, one to change the bulb and one to make the observation that it isn't half as bright as the light shining from their arses.
Cheltenham - None. No one can climb the ladder cos they're skirts are too short!!!
Mount St. Benedicts - Three. One to hold a mirror up for everyone. One to change it and one to make sure the oakhill guys dont label them as a canine airport again.
Sydney Uni - Seventy six. One to change the globe. Fifty to protest the globe's right not to change and twenty five to stage a counter protest.
Macquarie Uni - 38, so as to maintain that they're twice as good as sydney uni. Unles of course its conception day then they're all stuck in the que at the bar.
Epping Boys - Nah bruva we gotta check out the chicks in ma Honda.
Cherrybrook Tech -Two. One to change it and one to make sure that everyone has huge stuffed toys hanging off their phones.
Castle Hill High - None. They're all at the school captain's piss up.
Galston High - None. There's no power out there and they're all doing each other up
Mosman High - None. Thers no money to replace any lights anyway!
Fort St High- The whole school- one to make the ladder, one to make a better ladder, then they can argue about who's ladder is best. Meanwhile, a third person climbs both ladders at once, a fourth one then hands them a globe that they made in science, the musos provide the entertainment for the event, and the rest of the school stand around arguing about who's religion/subculture/political party/footy team/race/gender/denomination is better
Woolwich Girls- 60- One to buy a new phone, 3 to call the electrician, 56 to hold the ladder while the electrician is up there, then the lot of them try to shag him when he's done
How Many Students Does It Take To Screw On A Light Bulb?
Monte Sant' Angelo Mercy College- Four. One to change the light
bulb. One to mind her spot in the canteen line, one to notify the Sisters to start a chapel service about the event and one to notify the business office so the bulb can be billed to their accounts
Scot's - Two. One to mix the martinis and one to phone the electrician.
PLC - One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Sydney Grammar - Two. One to change the bulb and one to crack under the pressure.
James Ruse Agricultural - Four. One to design a nuclear powered one that never needs changing, two to install it and one to write the computer program that controls the switch.
Forest High - Two. One to change the bulb and one to figure out how to get high off the old one.
Loretto Kirribilli - One. She'll put through a call to maintenance staff because there's no way she's going to do manual labour.
King's - Two. One to change the globe faster than anyone in the GPS one to show him around the school afterwards.
Knox Grammar - Two. One to install the new bulb completely powered by testosterone and one to brag about it loudly.
Riverside Girls - Five. one to change the bulb, while the rest watch out for the flasher while maintaining it is "their right as women in john howards electorate"
Holy Cross - Four. One to call a riverside girl to come do it while the rest look up her skirt while she's up the ladder.
Ryde Secondary - Three. One to hold the ladder, one to change the bulb, while the other asks "wait dont we go to malvina dude?" "no its ryde secondary" "no malvina" "ryde seconday" etc etc
Cranbrook - Six. One to change the bulb and five to support its sexual orientation.
Ravenswood - Five. One tochange the bulb, two to reassure her that she doesn't look fat at the top of the ladder and two to circulate photos showing that she does.
Abbotsleigh - Four. One to smash the glass ceiling so that they can to the top of the ladder, one to install the globe and two to check that it's brighter than PLC's.
Shore - Sixteen. One to send out the invitations, two to get the beer, one to change the bulb, one to buy Ralph Lauren polos for everyone, two to smuggle the chicks in and one to keep watch for the boarding master. The second eight just need to be ready to back them up.
Newington. - None. They're all too drunk to notice.
Killara High - Two. One to change the bulb and one to write to the North Shore Times about how she did it as well as any private school student.
Santa Sabina - None. They're all down at Strathfield station having a ciggie.
St Pat's, Strathfield - Ten. One to change it and one to buy the hair gel to impress the Santa Sabina chicks, while the rest compete wiv da Christian Bruvvers for da turf (Strathfield Station).
Hills Grammar - 13. One to change it. Twelve to make sure its better than Oakhills.
Burwood Girls - None, that shithole looks better in the dark. So does Strathfield Girls by the way.
Homebush Boys High - Fourteen. One to change it, one to throw the old one at the St Pat's boys and 12 to kick the crap out of each other in the meantime.
Strathfield Girls - Three. One will chnage it. The other will orally explain to the Homebush Boys about how to change it. The third will statistically demonstrate how they beat Burwood Girls in the HSC again.
Macdonald college - Five. One to change the bulb and four to do interpretive dance about how the light feels.
Barrenjoey High - Eleven. One to change it and ten to share the experience.
Joey's - Fifteen. It's not that one's not smart enough, it's just that they're a team and they have to form a lineout and get the backs into position.
Tangara- None, if they turn on the lights everyone will be blinded by there **** orange uniform, then their daddys will have to fight a court case for them.
Redfield College - Sixteen.One to change it, 10 to get drunk and laugh at the guy changing it and 5 to pray that everything goes down smoothly.
Barker College - Fifteen. One to change it and the rest to walk around as if they own the place and talk it up.
SCEGGS Redlands - Three. One to change the bulb and two to nick down to Bed, Bath and Table to buy a Jacquard shade for it in the new season's colours.
Queenwood - Depends, could be one, could be ten, no-one is prepared to commit unless the Shore boys are definitely going to be there.
Mercy College - Five, one to screw it in, two to laugh about the word screw and twoto message the St Pius boys about it.
St Pius X - Three, one to get word around that the Mercy girls are talking about a screw, one to replace the bulb and one to pray that they get it done in time to beat the Chatswood High boys the Mercy party.
Brigidine - None. It's too hard to find a new globe with their sunglasses.
Tyndale - None. They're all too busy at westpoint blacktown.
Girraween High - Two. One student and one teacher but not before they make out.
Riverview - Five. One to change it, and four to go to Gowings for new flannelette shirts to wear for the occasion.
Ascham - One, because she's a unique, self motivated, individual.
Kincoppal - Three. One to change it and two to make sure her hair ribbons are still in place afterwards.
Patrician Brothers - None. All the homies wana stay in the dark like hard core ****.
Sydney Girl's High - One and she was determined to get better results than the Sydney Boys.
Sydney Boy's High - None. They didn't have to, the Sydney Girls insisted on showing them how it was done.
North Sydney Girl's - One and she will make sure it was the best installation ever.
Tara - Five. One to replace the globe, three to figure out that she screwed it in upside down and one to phone her brother at Kings and him to send over his mates to show them how to screw the right way up.
Hunters Hill High - None, Are you kidding they're all too bent!
Kambala.- Two. One to change the bulb and one to phone daddy to pay for it.
Oakhill - Twelve.One to go to Towers to buy it. Ten to go down there with him to hang out at the bus stop. And one to Change it.
St Aloyisius - Three. One to put in a formal complaint about the imposition, one to change the bulb and one to make the observation that it isn't half as bright as the light shining from their arses.
Cheltenham - None. No one can climb the ladder cos they're skirts are too short!!!
Mount St. Benedicts - Three. One to hold a mirror up for everyone. One to change it and one to make sure the oakhill guys dont label them as a canine airport again.
Sydney Uni - Seventy six. One to change the globe. Fifty to protest the globe's right not to change and twenty five to stage a counter protest.
Macquarie Uni - 38, so as to maintain that they're twice as good as sydney uni. Unles of course its conception day then they're all stuck in the que at the bar.
Epping Boys - Nah bruva we gotta check out the chicks in ma Honda.
Cherrybrook Tech -Two. One to change it and one to make sure that everyone has huge stuffed toys hanging off their phones.
Castle Hill High - None. They're all at the school captain's piss up.
Galston High - None. There's no power out there and they're all doing each other up
Mosman High - None. Thers no money to replace any lights anyway!
Fort St High- The whole school- one to make the ladder, one to make a better ladder, then they can argue about who's ladder is best. Meanwhile, a third person climbs both ladders at once, a fourth one then hands them a globe that they made in science, the musos provide the entertainment for the event, and the rest of the school stand around arguing about who's religion/subculture/political party/footy team/race/gender/denomination is better
Woolwich Girls- 60- One to buy a new phone, 3 to call the electrician, 56 to hold the ladder while the electrician is up there, then the lot of them try to shag him when he's done
