Need some help arguing with my parents about letting me ride DH

[Cypher]

Having just had a baby a couple of months ago I now understand what parenthood is all about - amazing love and constant fear. One of lifes true tragedies is to outlive your children.

I think of what I used to do (let alone what my partner did) as a teenager and already it gives me heart palpatations - because I gave birth to a boy. Males, especially those between 15-24, die from all sorts of silly stuff. My boy will probably do some stupid stuff too.

Give your parents, especially your Mum some time to get over the fear she had to face from going to hospital to pick you up. She is already having to deal with giving up 'ownership' of you as you become your own independant adult self. Deep down she doesn't trust that you can look after yourself enough to survive your early adult years - she's crossing her fingers, hoping you do, becuase there is not a lot she can do about it. Banning DH is a knee-jerk reaction to some strong fear.

If you like your Mum and value your relationship with her, but want to become independant at the same time, you are going to have to figure out how to give her a bit of psycological 'control' over the situation. You need to say something like "I'm going to go DHing, but how about we do X, Y or Z to reduce the (perceived) risks?" You need to deal with and address the risks your parents think there are to DHing

Good luck

 

[rb baby]

Gather as many bed sheets from the house as you can, some fishing line - doesnt matter what strength, rope - the dodgier the better, take it all to your mum with a big determined grin and a look of failure is not an option on your face, ask her if she can still sew like a Chinese sweatshop teen and when she asks you why? Reply with "Im taking up Base Jumping" !!

Or go with the gay-x dressing-granny bashing-meth head idea as mentioned earlier...

Good luck,

If you want it bad enough you will find a way, dads are easier to con in these situations than mums - im am now 33 and my dad still thinks im dumb but he accepts me and the decisions I have made in life

 

[Benny.]

The same kind of thing happened to me. I took about a year to get a DH bike and i rode it litterally as much as i could. Then in Thredbo i broke my collarbone and they wernt so keen, they said i should do XC but i still went back to DH...now im out cause i broke my hand, and it is death not being able to ride. I feel for you good luck with it!

 

[walkietalkie]

Having just had a baby a couple of months ago I now understand what parenthood is all about - amazing love and constant fear. One of lifes true tragedies is to outlive your children.

I think of what I used to do (let alone what my partner did) as a teenager and already it gives me heart palpatations - because I gave birth to a boy. Males, especially those between 15-24, die from all sorts of silly stuff. My boy will probably do some stupid stuff too.

Give your parents, especially your Mum some time to get over the fear she had to face from going to hospital to pick you up. She is already having to deal with giving up 'ownership' of you as you become your own independant adult self. Deep down she doesn't trust that you can look after yourself enough to survive your early adult years - she's crossing her fingers, hoping you do, becuase there is not a lot she can do about it. Banning DH is a knee-jerk reaction to some strong fear.

If you like your Mum and value your relationship with her, but want to become independant at the same time, you are going to have to figure out how to give her a bit of psycological 'control' over the situation. You need to say something like "I'm going to go DHing, but how about we do X, Y or Z to reduce the (perceived) risks?" You need to deal with and address the risks your parents think there are to DHing

Good luck

Nicely put!
I would do exactly that!

If that fails, take up knitting and talk 'till your face turns blue 24/7 until she gets sick of your voice

Good luck

 

[Bertram Bronold]

Guys, wow! when i started this thread yesterday I expected around 3-4 answers, but 3 pages?! This is awesome. You cant imagine how happy i am for all this help! And now it looks like i can get back on my bike after 4 more weeks with a bad leg. Hmm... From my perspective My parents dont "own" my bike, because I paid for all of it by myself. And me breaking doesnt cost them any money either, as I live in Hungary, and we have some free healthcare thing, which also included my leg. Thanks alot, thanks a REAL lot!

 

[3viltoast3r]

Take up rock climbing, They will surely see the sense in letting you ride a bike rather climb cliffs?

 

[NUMBER5]

The doctors and nurses are always amazed at how good my heart rate n blood pressure is, every time I go to hospital

You need to tone it down for a while,, tell ur parents ur not going to ride DH for a while, just XC, AM. There are always fun little DH sections on XC loops etc anyway(minuse the big boosters n road gaps..hehe). DON'T ride on the line n before you know it, it's been a yr with no crashes. Ur parents have forgotten bout ur leg n it's time to ease back into DH...... they won't even notice....

 

[Bryce88]

If you sell the bike you'll probably end up getting in to drugs as there's nothing else to do?

I second that! Exactly my thoughts haha.

 

[logan45]

scream at them saying you will never quit and run out of the room yelling YOLO

 

[allan.taylor64]

They may just be freaking out worried for you, tell them you will wear extra protection just till they get comfortable with you riding again start to shed some of that if nessesary

 

[MARKL]

Take up rock climbing, They will surely see the sense in letting you ride a bike rather climb cliffs?

^^This is the best thing for freaking out parents, even in my late 20's (a depressingly long time ago) I used to get calls from my old man 'rock climber died, you will die!!! Please stop'. Despite the fact I never got hurt climbing and have had heaps of injuries riding they are so much happier now, go figure.


As other people have said, they are your parents, they love you and don't want to see you hurt. As a parent I have taken my daughter climbing, caving, bmx , mountain biking, snorkelling, skiing and all sorts of things but it is a process. Part of it is teaching my daughter how to do something and gaining confidence however a big part of it is appreciation of risk and understanding what she is doing - what she can do to minimise the risk - check something out first, what is the technique, is this beyond me, do I have the right gear...

I love downhill but be realistic broken bones are part of the territory.

Now I don't know you or your parents but I am imagining you to be a bit like my 16 year old nephew - now if he said he wanted to ride downhill I wouldn't let him - he does not think beyond what he is doing and has no appreciation of risk. You will get a lot further with your parents if they can see you are aware of the risks and doing what you can to minimise - do you always wear a helmet (body armour, neck brace) or are you too cool? What condition is your bike in - is it always perfect or does it look as though it is about fall apart and the brakes don't work?

Cheers and good luck.

 

[4dabush]

From another Dad; if you are serious about riding and like others have suggested - lots of good points and tips (albeit the credit card ad would probably not get you far )...while you are healing, make some calls to some local MTB clubs. Find out about their activities and racing program. Then when you are ready to speak to your parents about being keen to continue riding and suggest joining a club and riding in club events...Yep, even an XC event or two, gently getting them and you back to DH.

AND THEN set about becoming a valuable club member. Volunteering, helping at working bees, or, as a young DH'er, go help at XC events. You will get a mob of respect from the club and other riders and you might just convince mum and dad to get involved. When you leave school, there is another element to you CV that will set you apart from others looking for a job. Working with professional trail builders, being involved in the club and learning to work with councils and land managers, doing a commissars program, could all lead to career paths, not just a job. If they see you are committed to your sport, not just riding but the whole sport, and see the variety of people in clubs 6 to 66 yrs old, from every profession and walk of life, you might even convince them to participate. You might find that if they run some shuttles, they might not be happy, but get to understand your passion. My wife gives me crap every time I come home with bark off or more bruises - so just because you are 16, don't think its all over when you turn 18. I occasionally get shuttles from her and she's always got a different view of the sport when she is involved.

As others have said, Mum and Dad are only worried about you. The pain from your broken leg is tenfold for them. You'll never understand how much until you are a Dad too (leave that for a decade or so). From the way you framed your initial post, seems like you have a good head on your shoulders. Everything we've all offered you probably already knew deep down.

Take your time, be gentle with them and Good Luck

 

[Bertram Bronold]

^^This is the best thing for freaking out parents, even in my late 20's (a depressingly long time ago) I used to get calls from my old man 'rock climber died, you will die!!! Please stop'. Despite the fact I never got hurt climbing and have had heaps of injuries riding they are so much happier now, go figure.


As other people have said, they are your parents, they love you and don't want to see you hurt. As a parent I have taken my daughter climbing, caving, bmx , mountain biking, snorkelling, skiing and all sorts of things but it is a process. Part of it is teaching my daughter how to do something and gaining confidence however a big part of it is appreciation of risk and understanding what she is doing - what she can do to minimise the risk - check something out first, what is the technique, is this beyond me, do I have the right gear...

I love downhill but be realistic broken bones are part of the territory.

Now I don't know you or your parents but I am imagining you to be a bit like my 16 year old nephew - now if he said he wanted to ride downhill I wouldn't let him - he does not think beyond what he is doing and has no appreciation of risk. You will get a lot further with your parents if they can see you are aware of the risks and doing what you can to minimise - do you always wear a helmet (body armour, neck brace) or are you too cool? What condition is your bike in - is it always perfect or does it look as though it is about fall apart and the brakes don't work?

Cheers and good luck.

Well I know a lot of people (especially my age) that ride without a helmet, I started out without one, but after my first crash I suddenly thought they were really cool!! I also ride with basic body arour (Knee pads, protection vest, spine protector and elbow pads) but im considering getting a neckbrace too. And yes, my bike is in (near) perfect condition, gets a allround check 2-3 times a week, and is parked in my room whenever Im not on it. Personally, I think I have some kind of appreciation of risk, As i've been riding for a year, instead of going to parties, getting drunk and smoking weed, as all my other class mates did/do. But I guess you need to be a bit nuts when you wanna get into downhill.

Cheers and thanks for the good words. Im starting really to appreciate this forum, because people take it seriously, and im still impressed by how fast the answers came to this thread

 

[MARKL]

Cool, now you just have to get your parents to understand that you are doing all the right things, easier said than done - as a parent the things that stick in your mind are when you took a risk/got hurt/were not wearing a helmet. Only way to convince them is time and talking to them.

I thought the suggestion about joining a local club was a very good idea. Parents do like the idea that there is some form of organisation and structure around what you are doing - track is built properly, other people around, coaching/advice on offer - especially when it is something that your parents do not do themselves or understand.

 

[oriion]

It's a crappy attitude for your parents to have.

Putting things into perspective, you could walk outside and trip on the stairs and break your leg. Are your parents going to get rid of the stairs?

You could burn yourself cooking dinner, Are you parents going to sell the kitchen and forbid you going into kitchen ever again?

Problem with parents these days is that they wrap their kids up in cotton wool and dont let them learn anything.

When i was a kid my parents used to laugh at me for hurting myself, and then say thats how you learn.

You could always just move out

 

[Rider_of_Bikes]

Risk Assessment

Every action we take, every step, jump, pedal stroke, sleep, everything, can be measured when it comes to risk of injury. This is called risk assessment. Do a bit of research on this, learn the basic formula and the basic concept. Tell your parents to take a look with you. This will help you and your parents see just how safe riding is and how you can put different mechanical, administrative, and avoidance steps in place to make it even safer.

If you are pulling at straws just remind them the most dangerous thing in the world is crossing the road.

 

[Lilley]

It's a crappy attitude for your parents to have.

Putting things into perspective, you could walk outside and trip on the stairs and break your leg. Are your parents going to get rid of the stairs?

You could burn yourself cooking dinner, Are you parents going to sell the kitchen and forbid you going into kitchen ever again?

Problem with parents these days is that they wrap their kids up in cotton wool and dont let them learn anything.

When i was a kid my parents used to laugh at me for hurting myself, and then say thats how you learn.

You could always just move out

It is also very understandable that parents have this attitude. Downhill is often portrayed in the media and by mountain bikers themselves as an extreme sport. If all someone sees of the sport is YouTube videos and DVDs of people hucking big cliffs and putting their life on the line of course they are going to think it is more dangerous then day to day life. Most mountain bikers I know love to tell stories about big crashes and near misses and by doing so create the impression the sport is more dangerous then it really is.

When you cook dinner you don't "push the limits of cooking" by trying to jump 10 feet in the air while frying an egg. I'm sure his parents realise he could be hurt doing all these things but it is pretty unlikely.

Hopefully after the initial stress of the situation has passed his parents will realise downhill is a great sport and be happy to let him continue. If not I am sure like most determined teenagers he will find a way to continue anyway.

 

[rb baby]

Every action we take, every step, jump, pedal stroke, sleep, everything, can be measured when it comes to risk of injury. This is called risk assessment. Do a bit of research on this, learn the basic formula and the basic concept. Tell your parents to take a look with you. This will help you and your parents see just how safe riding is and how you can put different mechanical, administrative, and avoidance steps in place to make it even safer.

If you are pulling at straws just remind them the most dangerous thing in the world is crossing the road.

Haha, deffinatley avoid the first control measure - elimination !!

 

[floody]

Ask them if they've ever had a car accident, and why they didn't give up driving...

 

[flamshmizer]

Ask them if they beleive road riding is safer and if they'd prefer you did that.

I rode downhill for nearly 2 years before breaking my collarbone. So thats 2 years of dodging trees, riding over rocks and roots all the while trying to do it faster than last time. I got my collarbone plated shortly after.

Come a year and a half later, and my surgeon shows up in the local paper having broken 7 ribs, a punctured lung, a ruined shoulder and heaps of grazes. He has to wait for the ribs to heal before he can get surgery because of breathing complications while he's under. What was he doing to earn himself such damage? Riding his bike down a smooth bituman road, when he was struck by a car doing about 40km/h.

I ride downhill as fast and hard as I can whenever i get on my bike, but I refuse to ride on the road unless I absolutely have to. I've always had the beleif that other wankers on the road will get me killed much faster than I will on a downhill course. On a downhill course I know my body, I know my bike, I know the track, and I know the limitations of all of these factors (to a degree). On the road I have no idea what anyone else is doing. Did that guy in the commodore smoke a cone before driving down the road to buy more doritos and dip? Is that person just going to turn left and just not indicate? Is that tradie in the ute talking on his phone?

Explain that Downhill is an environment you CAN control. You will push your limits, and you will get hurt, but you could do worse in a lot of other ways. Explain how much you enjoy it. If you are like most of the people on this site you're not just a guy who rides bikes, you are a mountain biker. You let that moniker define you. It's not a fad, it's not something your doing just til school comes back (or whatever) but its something you see yourself doing many years into the future.

If they can't stand behind you after that, I'm not sure mate. They are your parents, and no matter how tough teenagers like to sound its difficult to disobey them on something like this. Good luck.