Jokes Thread.
- Thread starter mattvincent
- Start date
That was an excellent call.i have a drinking problem too,
2 hands but only 1 mouth
S.
ex offender
I don't have an alcohol problem. I have an alcohol solution.i have a drinking problem too,
2 hands but only 1 mouth
that_stoney_one
Likes Dirt
sometimes the simple ones are the best. even if its not one that leaves your rolling on the ground.
jp4294
Likes Dirt
Ok here is another lame joke.
There is this blonde that is trying to do this jigsaw puzzle but she just can't do it. So she calls her boyfriend.
BLONDE: Hey, I'm trying to do this puzzle and I can't seem to do it.
BOYFRIEND: Ok, so what is it a picture of?
BLONDE: Well, on the box it has a picture of a rooster.
BOYFRIEND: Just wait and I'll be right there.
The boyfriend arrives at her house.
BOYFRIEND: Ok, show me the puzzle.
She shows him the puzzle.
BOYFRIEND: Ok, what you need to do is sit down, relax and then you can put the cornflakes away.
Thanks
There is this blonde that is trying to do this jigsaw puzzle but she just can't do it. So she calls her boyfriend.
BLONDE: Hey, I'm trying to do this puzzle and I can't seem to do it.
BOYFRIEND: Ok, so what is it a picture of?
BLONDE: Well, on the box it has a picture of a rooster.
BOYFRIEND: Just wait and I'll be right there.
The boyfriend arrives at her house.
BOYFRIEND: Ok, show me the puzzle.
She shows him the puzzle.
BOYFRIEND: Ok, what you need to do is sit down, relax and then you can put the cornflakes away.
Thanks
Last edited:
birmY(>_<)
Likes Dirt
anyone know the price of lamb in NZ at the moment?
40 bucks an hour
40 bucks an hour
Binaural
Eats Squid
Lucky the NZ dollar is down right now then.^ HA! Love it
Mattydv
Likes Bikes and Dirt
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
The officer puts his hand up to silence her. He appears puzzled for a few moments, before he looks through the mangled door into the interior of the car.
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
The officer puts his hand up to silence her. He appears puzzled for a few moments, before he looks through the mangled door into the interior of the car.
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
Mattydv
Likes Bikes and Dirt
How does a kiwi find a lost sheep in long grass?
Excellent.
Not sure if it's been told before, but nonetheless
|Matt|
Banned
PINT of Stella. mate!
Many, many Scotches
mad_mike51
Likes Bikes and Dirt
Bahahahahahahaha!
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because someone threw a fridge at it