cleeshoy
Eats Squid
I can see why she is now an ex.....
Women, etc.
- Thread starter Matt H
- Start date
Wellsey
Likes Bikes and Dirt
Buy a new bike.
Sam.
Eats Squid
So a bit of a dig/revive here, but I need the help of you fellow farkers!
Basically my girlfriend of 18months has applied to head to the Army which has really hit me hard. She'll be leaving in January-February provided she passes psych assessment and her physical (may not even happen considering a doctor suggested a knee reconstruction on both knees a few years back) for a period of 2-4 years (she's undecided as of yet, but leaning towards 2 years as she can always sign up for longer). I've not taken the news well at all as I couldn't comprehend moving away from her and it's been effecting us of late. I've been really short with her,pretty agitated and pretty firey too with regards to life in general. Over the past few days I've been really up and down to the point where we almost broke up today and we've decided that things need to change on both our parts if we're to continue.
I'm more at ease with the whole situation since she's layed her cards on the table (this afternoon) and I now know where we stand so to speak (I've told her how I felt all along). Over the past month or so she's kept the majority of it to herself in fear of me being upset (justifiably so) which has been frustrating and as a byproduct created more problems.
As it stands, we are now both on the same level and I feel much better about the whole situation, she's always had itchy feet and felt the need to go away but now its accumulated to the point where she can't stay put any longer.
In short I think I'm gonna have to give the whole long distance thing a go, after much thinking and contemplating I'm pretty sure I'd kick myself if I didn't at least try. Has anyone here got any tips and suggestions to deal with a loved one moving away, or even experiences with a spouse in the forces?
Cheers all!
Basically my girlfriend of 18months has applied to head to the Army which has really hit me hard. She'll be leaving in January-February provided she passes psych assessment and her physical (may not even happen considering a doctor suggested a knee reconstruction on both knees a few years back) for a period of 2-4 years (she's undecided as of yet, but leaning towards 2 years as she can always sign up for longer). I've not taken the news well at all as I couldn't comprehend moving away from her and it's been effecting us of late. I've been really short with her,pretty agitated and pretty firey too with regards to life in general. Over the past few days I've been really up and down to the point where we almost broke up today and we've decided that things need to change on both our parts if we're to continue.
I'm more at ease with the whole situation since she's layed her cards on the table (this afternoon) and I now know where we stand so to speak (I've told her how I felt all along). Over the past month or so she's kept the majority of it to herself in fear of me being upset (justifiably so) which has been frustrating and as a byproduct created more problems.
As it stands, we are now both on the same level and I feel much better about the whole situation, she's always had itchy feet and felt the need to go away but now its accumulated to the point where she can't stay put any longer.
In short I think I'm gonna have to give the whole long distance thing a go, after much thinking and contemplating I'm pretty sure I'd kick myself if I didn't at least try. Has anyone here got any tips and suggestions to deal with a loved one moving away, or even experiences with a spouse in the forces?
Cheers all!
Knut
Troll hunter
It's no where near as bad as you think. In fact, the support you will both get is really good. When she is away she will write and call you. You can do the same. Her life will be too busy for distractions. Go easy on her, putting your hand up for your country is an outstanding proposition.
You will be fine. Support her through it. She will need it.
You will be fine. Support her through it. She will need it.
downhillar
Likes Dirt
That's an extremely ironic post Sam! My girlfriend wants to do the same thing. Looking forward to reading some more replies on that 
frenchman
Eats cheese. Sells crack.
This is going to sound harsh. But you need to grow up. The fact that she has been keeping from you just shows that you can't deal with either potential conflict or that she wants to do her own thing. It makes you seem selfish.
If she isn't your wife and it's a career / job she is setting the foundations for then the relationship has to come second. I know way too many people that have ditched job offers / scholarships etc because they are caught by the balls then 3 years later kick themselves.
On the plus side interstate travel is becoming more affordable all the time whether it be flying, catching the greyhound, splitting the ride with backpackers traveling etc. Skype is also good.
If you get along whilst she is gone, it'll give her something to look forward to when you catch up. And you'll basically nail her into next week and everything will be awesome.
downhillar
Likes Dirt
Sam.
Eats Squid
For sure, pretty much come to that realisation now and (touch wood) things have been much better. It hit pretty hard at first but as time's passed I've realized that it's actually probably a really good thing. Things aren't guaranteed to work out, if they do sweet, and if they don't we had a sick time anyway.
Thanks for the metaphorical tea spoon of cement, re-itterating that I'm just being a little bitch has in a weird way, done me wonders. Cheers!
Art Vanderlay
Hourly daily
Is this girl dating two people at once?That's an extremely ironic post Sam! My girlfriend wants to do the same thing. Looking forward to reading some more replies on that
Elbo
pesky scooter kids git off ma lawn
Elbo has been meeting a few girls recently and was interested enough in one to get her number. Met at a party, hung out again at a pub with a few mutual friends a few days later, then took her out earlier in the week for dinner after work. Probably made the mistake of just doing dinner and not following it up with some sort of activity that didn't require continuous conversation afterwards nono: no not that). Anyway, by the end of dinner I was pretty much bored out of my mind and wrapped things up pretty quickly. She came across way too keen which contributed to my boredom. She was still crushing on me despite what I thought were my obvious hints that this wouldn't be happening again.
So, my question is, do I owe her a phone call or not? Or no phone call after the date is enough of a hint.
nono: no not that). Anyway, by the end of dinner I was pretty much bored out of my mind and wrapped things up pretty quickly. She came across way too keen which contributed to my boredom. She was still crushing on me despite what I thought were my obvious hints that this wouldn't be happening again.So, my question is, do I owe her a phone call or not? Or no phone call after the date is enough of a hint.
Elbo - yep phone call is owed. No good to leave her hanging. Not so say I didn't do that sort of thing when I was younger of course. In hindsight it was pretty pissweak of me and I wouldn't do it now.
If she wasn't getting the hints then leaving her waiting a week or more for a phone call is poor form. Just tell her the truth (you are not interested - not that she is boring). Don't drag the convo out too long though. Keep it to the point and avoid getting into too much of the why. Focus on the message.
That and pray for no tears. God I hate the tears!
If she wasn't getting the hints then leaving her waiting a week or more for a phone call is poor form. Just tell her the truth (you are not interested - not that she is boring). Don't drag the convo out too long though. Keep it to the point and avoid getting into too much of the why. Focus on the message.
That and pray for no tears. God I hate the tears!
Knut
Troll hunter
Because she is open about how she feels, doesnt make it right to treat her like shit. She is just nice, there is nothing wrong with that. How many crazy chicks have you met that treat you like a ball in a game?
If you really liked a girl and she didn't call you back, you would be hurt? A phone call wouldn't cost you much.
If you really liked a girl and she didn't call you back, you would be hurt? A phone call wouldn't cost you much.
Elbo
pesky scooter kids git off ma lawn
Thanks guys. Knut, I've had the text/email/ignore thing before from girls and it doesn't feel nice. So I manned up and called her. Let her know my reason for calling, said I wasn't interested in forging a relationship, listened to her and wished her good luck in finding someone more suited to her, no tears, no nights ruined, 2 happy people move on.
well how about working with bunch of women it has driven me nuts
i am watched like a hawk cause im a guy even had the chick boss say need to go to the toilet in my own time.
then also a chick i used to work is always hot then cold you women never know what you want
pistonbroke
Eats Squid
Just be a jerk and they'll be all over you. Mr nice guy will get you stomped on.
yer it seems that way nice guys finish last
cleeshoy
Eats Squid
What work do you do?