Black Dogs and mental shit in general

I called my HPV racing team Dirty Mongrel Racing, "Dirty Mongrel" being synonymous with Black Dog.... I have a mascot that gets taken to every race & strung up in the pit somewhere to represent keeping the metaphoric Mongrel under control through racing & teamwork.

And it gets set up in other poses too.....
DSC_0147.jpg


That mascot is my punching bag when shit gets rough - it's a physical representation of my Mongrel, so gets kicked, punched & thrown about when necessary.
 
Duckmeister- love that!

PINT of Stella said:
It tends to hit me more when I'm on leave rather than away at work particularly if I'm at home for a long time.
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Spot on for me too. In fact recognised this just last week having come offsite from hectic stint back to work where I'm doing two tenths of fuck all of my normal workload. My brain is too overactive without being preoccupied... found myself thinking irrationally and it took a somewhat stranger to point out how abnormal I was acting for it to click.

My history with depression; estimated from the age of 11 (by the pysch who treated me at 16) and still pops in every now and again. Slightly undesirable family situation, father addicted to prescription meds and abusive. You're never cured, but damn you get better at recognizing the patterns and ways of thinking. Practice is everything, you just have to keep fighting. Had close friends suffer badly from it also, been woken up at midnight by an inconsolable housemate with blood everywhere before... it's an awful thing.


fridgie said:
Yep, been there, sitting on a cliff patting the big black bastard hoping he'd push me off..... For 5 nights in a row.... Still don't understand how I'm still here.
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Fridgie, I agree you should absolutely share this with your girlfriend. I have a good friend from many years ago who recently lost his father with whom he was very close, just before xmas. We hadn't spoken in a couple of years but he knew my history, and I knew he had struggled worse than me. Talking to someone who knows from experience can be so beneficial in knowing you're being heard by someone who's been there. Also, your real dog is gorgeous!

As we all keep referring to the black dog- and I'm sure many of you have seen this before but this book (and now animation) is one of the most apt descriptions I've seen ever.
[video=youtube;XiCrniLQGYc]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc[/video]
I actually bought the book for aforementioned housemate above, and even though she moved back home to Norway, I hope I helped in a tiny way in her recovery. Also, perfect quote in my sig for this kind of thing, shoutout to Knut!
 
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Fantastic thread, POSM. A sincere tip o' the hat to all who plucked up the courage to share.

I've been there, and although it definately isn't a competition, I've got it a lot easier than some who've already shared.

Mine started with anxiety in highschool, which came about purely by caring too much what people thought of me. This, combined with horrible sleep patterns and no exercise quickly snowballed into depression, where I'd cry every day, and just sit around feeling sorry for myself. After pulling my finger out and some tough love from my awesome mum, 5 years later I've put myself through uni and started an awesome life for myself.

The things that help me are - Exercise, eating well, having amazing friend and family, and as someone said above, realizing that it's OK to be down every once in a while. If I'm having a hard day, I'll usually go have some Jacob time (no, not THAT kind of Jacob time) and clear my head, might even shed a few tears, which usually makes me feel a bit better.
 
thought I would do a bit of re-sus to this thread, as I'm sure I'm not the only one taking the black dog for walkies on a daily basis of late.
not sure if it's the winter blues, (which is strange as I now live in Newcastle where we don't really have a winter, more a cool spell with a bit of rain) or its all this Covid shit and the uncertainty of the impending end of the world.
I have done very little time on the bike lately for various reasons (stuffed knee, prime fishing weather, family time) and it is starting to show, I am having real trouble to motivate myself to get out on the bike, actually having real trouble to motivate myself to get out and do anything..
how are others pushing through, I know this is just a phase in time, but sometimes when you are at the bottom of the well, it seems like such a long climb back out..
I unloaded on one of my work mated the other day, the stress and anxiety just built up so much until my head exploded and I just yelled this unprovoked tirade of abuse at this dude, then I spent the rest of the day feeling deeply embarrassed and regretful of the whole experience, and wanted to just chuck it all in and go and get a job at Bunnings.
and now this talk of recession and further job cuts and stalled economy will do nothing for those already struggling through uncertain times.
Oh and fuck the Media- damn Doomsayer chunts
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out!
 
Sorry to hear, @fatboyonabike, I’ve talked a fair bit about what worked/works for me. Happy to go over it again if interested.
Just don’t get down on yourself for getting down on yourself. It becomes a spiral. Depression and anxiety are almost inevitable for us old blokes. Trying to deny or ignore symptoms/signs/effects is the danger.
Talk to your GP, if they suggest meds to at least get you started, take them, and work towards getting off them over time. Or stay on them if needed.
*one mans experience, take with a grain of salt.
 
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It’s tough down in the well and very hard to ask for a hand out. I find when I’m deep and everything is too hard I try to admit it and make compromises. My best example is at times it’s too hard to load the bike and go for a ride. Until recently this meant I didn’t do it. Now I recognise my sabotage of me and comprise. Instead I Now walk outside get my bike and ride around the streets. It’s a small win and I find the more small wins I have the higher I climb out of the hole. All types of comprises are available and whilst they may not be my ultimate want it sure beats being defeated. Keep seeing the opening at the top, be it kids, wife, friends or family someone is always up there waiting and willing to help. Take the small steps - they are ones that matter...
 
Thank you for posting @fatboyonabike. This all sounds very familiar. It's been really hard this year. I don't do well in the cold, wet dark months of any year but this year is worse For me I am struggling with finding things to look forward to or even why bother trying to look for them. The uncertainty of the future and big changes coming can suck all the sunshine out of the day. Thank goodness for Rotorburn and the laughs it provides.
 
The last few months have been pretty insane for probably all of us to some degree. For me there was a short period of uncertainty as to whether we'd be allowed to remain open & work as normal or not... Turned out we could and it just went - and still is - fucking mental. Which in one way kept my emotional black dog on its chain by maintaining some sense of routine. But on the flipside, even though I'm naturally a solitary animal, I dislike confinement, and the concept of me enjoying my solitude outside home somehow being suddenly a heinous crime unsettled me, and going anywhere brought a degree of paranoia, because maintaining mental health apparently doesn't register on the radar of tunnel-visioned single issue politicrits.....
And getting out on the bike to tame the brain ended up somewhat counterproductive because multitudes of previously unseen gumbies decided to leach out of their wormholes and sprawl over every inch of potentially fun trail in utter oblivion. So riding wasn't the release it should have been, so now I'm grumpier than normal.
 
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