Black Dogs and mental shit in general

[tobbogonist]

I plan to retire at Bunnings. I'm a sparky so I'll no doubt end up in the gardening section.

Or BCF. That's livin'.

Man we have so many older tradies kicking back waiting for retirement, they stand around answering questions and shit all day whilst the younger staff do all the store upkeep stuff. Most of them are wrecked physically anyway so it doesn't bother me much. Dont know how much use a sparky will be though, one of the few things we cant give any advice on at all, not even supposed to recomend something when a customer enquiries about electrical stuff.

 

[tobbogonist]

I'd still be smoking if I didn't find vaping. Now the health Munster (C)Hunt, has squashed that avenue for anybody.

Sent from my SM-A205YN using Tapatalk

I was never organised enough to keep one charged haha

 

[pink poodle]

Honest answer regarding working at Bunnings. Its fine. Im supposed to be building a tiny house at the moment (covid put it on hold) so I figured job at hardware store.. cant lose. The store i work in is tiny, I am one of the few able bodied (not under 60) employees so i am tasked with lifting everything.
Aside from that it is a hundred times better gor my mental health then traveling and gigging, trying to be a comedian. I dont drink every night to get to sleep so there is that.
Hardest part about moving forward is breaking the routine built up around being depressed.
Quitting smoking was one of the harder parts.
Mates -'That shit will kill you bro!'
Me - Quietly lights another and crosses my fingers.

Likewise - much happier working as a casual than the old office work days.

 

[Rorschach]

Bumping the thread as I'm having a real struggle with the dog at the minute and honestly talking to strangers on the internet is easier than talking to the people close to me.
Has been on and off for a while, but getting worse recently to the point my Mrs told me to go and see the Dr. Going after work today to have a chat
Having real issues with my pot being close to boiling over all the time recently, my sleep quality is shit and I'm honestly struggling to find joy in anything I do at the minute. This is all on top of having my second little one due in the next 4 weeks, number one being a general pain in the arse at times, having a heap of stuff to do and feeling fuzzy up top and fatigued all of the time. My diet at isn't too bad, but find myself drinking too much, eating rubbish at work just for something to do and I don't think I've had a serious look at myself in the mirror or looked myself in the eye for about a year
Will see what the doc says later, but am going to ask him to refer me to someone and have a chat to someone trained to deal with it and hopefully start feeling better again

 

[The Reverend]

I wouldn't even know where to start being helpful on this as it's a delicate matter to manage. Definitely recognising you need help and seeing a professional skilled specialist are great first steps.

Raising kids is hard (sometimes impossible) work at the best of times too.

 

[wkkie]

Good work @Rorschach. It's a bloody good step! You have to make sure you look after yourself. Try and get a regular spot and keep at it.

 

[ashes_mtb]

Bumping the thread as I'm having a real struggle with the dog at the minute and honestly talking to strangers on the internet is easier than talking to the people close to me.
Has been on and off for a while, but getting worse recently to the point my Mrs told me to go and see the Dr. Going after work today to have a chat
Having real issues with my pot being close to boiling over all the time recently, my sleep quality is shit and I'm honestly struggling to find joy in anything I do at the minute. This is all on top of having my second little one due in the next 4 weeks, number one being a general pain in the arse at times, having a heap of stuff to do and feeling fuzzy up top and fatigued all of the time. My diet at isn't too bad, but find myself drinking too much, eating rubbish at work just for something to do and I don't think I've had a serious look at myself in the mirror or looked myself in the eye for about a year
Will see what the doc says later, but am going to ask him to refer me to someone and have a chat to someone trained to deal with it and hopefully start feeling better again

I’m in a similar boat at the moment; was on a solid up tick after getting out on the bike more and then broke my hand. Life is relentless and gets to everyone once in a while.

I’ve tried all of therapy, meds and diet/exercise and found the healthy eating and exercising most beneficial, but everyone is different. Be prepared to try a few professionals if need be; I’ve found some really helpful and others not so much. If you’re not finding them helpful, be prepared to move on and try someone else.

 

[PJO]

I’m in a similar boat at the moment; was on a solid up tick after getting out on the bike more and then broke my hand. Life is relentless and gets to everyone once in a while.

I’ve tried all of therapy, meds and diet/exercise and found the healthy eating and exercising most beneficial, but everyone is different. Be prepared to try a few professionals if need be; I’ve found some really helpful and others not so much. If you’re not finding them helpful, be prepared to move on and try someone else.

Solid advice. As others have said the solutions are very personal. I'll add some more from my experience.

Finding time for yourself is important, that is usually a hard thing to do with a young family. Exercise is very important but so is just chilling in a peaceful surroundings, meditation and/or mindfulness can help. Slowing down, taking stock of what you have.

Getting good sleep is one of the most important. Prioritising what you should worry about, some things don't need mental energy at the time that they present themselves. Tell yourself that they don't need to be dealt with right now (e.g at 3am). If it helps take a notepad to bed, and write down the things that are keeping you up so you can deal with them later. They may seem really simple in the morning, or you will have better mental fortitude to deal with them in the light of day.

Definitely go see someone. Don't be afraid to say that what they are suggesting is not something that you are prepared to try but also don't be dismissive, some suggestions don't seem like they will work but it can just be your overly negative reaction.

Good luck.

 

[indica]

Bumping the thread as I'm having a real struggle with the dog at the minute and honestly talking to strangers on the internet is easier than talking to the people close to me.

Hey, I have nothing apart from keep going and I hope you are okay,

 

[Rorschach]

Thanks guys. Went and saw the doctor and he’s given me a referral and mental health plan to go and chat to a psychologist. Will book that in tomorrow and see if I can go and see them before the baby comes.
Was hard asking for the help and I’m currently sat in the car for 10 (waiting after getting a flu jab) and feel like I’m not far off having a cry in the car park to be honest.

 

[wkkie]

Thanks guys. Went and saw the doctor and he’s given me a referral and mental health plan to go and chat to a psychologist. Will book that in tomorrow and see if I can go and see them before the baby comes.
Was hard asking for the help and I’m currently sat in the car for 10 (waiting after getting a flu jab) and feel like I’m not far off having a cry in the car park to be honest.

Have one! It can help!

 

[yuley95]

Bumping the thread as I'm having a real struggle with the dog at the minute and honestly talking to strangers on the internet is easier than talking to the people close to me.
Has been on and off for a while, but getting worse recently to the point my Mrs told me to go and see the Dr. Going after work today to have a chat
Having real issues with my pot being close to boiling over all the time recently, my sleep quality is shit and I'm honestly struggling to find joy in anything I do at the minute. This is all on top of having my second little one due in the next 4 weeks, number one being a general pain in the arse at times, having a heap of stuff to do and feeling fuzzy up top and fatigued all of the time. My diet at isn't too bad, but find myself drinking too much, eating rubbish at work just for something to do and I don't think I've had a serious look at myself in the mirror or looked myself in the eye for about a year
Will see what the doc says later, but am going to ask him to refer me to someone and have a chat to someone trained to deal with it and hopefully start feeling better again

You’re dealing with a lot mate. Good on you for seeking help. I can’t add anything that others haven’t already (or that you don't already know). Don’t put too much pressure on yourself (or your partner or kids) and count the small wins. Good luck!

 

[Rorschach]

Have one! It can help!

It’ll probably come later when I can’t sleep

 

[The Reverend]

I distinctly remember a VERY stressful period in my life and coming home on a Friday night. I'd been working all the hours the good Lord sends with a client who frankly didn't deserve my efforts.

After entering the house, sat on the stairs and cried for about 10 mins. Hadn't done it in ages before then. It was good to get a load off and it helped reset my mood.

Don't be afraid to cry... No-one knows the things we're all carrying.

 

[Nambra]

Any chance you can incorporate #1 child into some outdoor activity @Rorschach? Young kids are really hard work at times, but even simple things can amuse them for hours too. Not to diminish your own internal battles at the moment, but if new bub is due within the next 4 weeks, I'd be guessing that your missus is probably over being pregnant about now - maybe give her some time out by taking your young one out for a walk to the park, kick a ball, chuck a frisbee etc. Get some fresh air and exercise and slow down for a bit as @PJO says, and it might help if there is any tension at home. In my own experience - and this sounds silly - getting enough sun is important, particularly as the days are getting shorter; the winter blues won't help your current state of mind.

I've got a saying that I tell my daughter (high function autism) when she gets overwhelmed by everything: "only worry about stuff you can do something about" - some shit is going to happen no matter what, so why stress about it. And if you start something, try to finish it so it's off your plate and one less thing to worry about.

Good luck with it all mate - don't be afraid to open up and tell people how you're feeling, even if it is a bunch of strangers online. Most of us will know what you're going through.

 

[Rorschach]

Any chance you can incorporate #1 child into some outdoor activity @Rorschach? Young kids are really hard work at times, but even simple things can amuse them for hours too. Not to diminish your own internal battles at the moment, but if new bub is due within the next 4 weeks, I'd be guessing that your missus is probably over being pregnant about now - maybe give her some time out by taking your young one out for a walk to the park, kick a ball, chuck a frisbee etc. Get some fresh air and exercise and slow down for a bit as @PJO says, and it might help if there is any tension at home. In my own experience - and this sounds silly - getting enough sun is important, particularly as the days are getting shorter; the winter blues won't help your current state of mind.

I've got a saying that I tell my daughter (high function autism) when she gets overwhelmed by everything: "only worry about stuff you can do something about" - some shit is going to happen no matter what, so why stress about it. And if you start something, try to finish it so it's off your plate and one less thing to worry about.

Good luck with it all mate - don't be afraid to open up and tell people how you're feeling, even if it is a bunch of strangers online. Most of us will know what you're going through.

I take him swimming on a weekend and then to the park a couple of nights a week or out on his balance bike - he enjoys it and I like the walk but if he starts acting out it starts me spiralling and I can’t deal with it.
I took him with me to get some takeaway at the weekend and when he started messing about in the back of the car I was getting really frustrated and then he threw my brand new (24hrs old) prescription sunnies on the floor and scratched them I put him in the house with his mum and had to go for an hour walk without eating I was so wound up. This was on a weekend where I’d been for a ride and taken him swimming and was generally doing ok up until that point.

 

[clockworked]

Kids are fuckheads and everyone expects you to like them. They only ever get older though, and the older they get the closer they get to someone you wanna hang out it.

Your worst time is probably coming after the new baby. BUT your elder one should get better and more fun/reasonable to hang out with after he gets over the first 6 months of not being a single child any more.

When i want to act like a selfish juvenile dickhead i try tk think to myself that they won't be selfish juvenile dickheads as much tomorrow, or the day after.

Strangely, i have no problem with other people's kids. I think i just have too high standards for mine. Maybe you're similar?

 

[The Reverend]

Kids are fuckheads and everyone expects you to like them. They only ever get older though, and the older they get the closer they get to someone you wanna hang out it.

Your worst time is probably coming after the new baby. BUT your elder one should get better and more fun/reasonable to hang out with after he gets over the first 6 months of not being a single child any more.

When i want to act like a selfish juvenile dickhead i try tk think to myself that they won't be selfish juvenile dickheads as much tomorrow, or the day after.

Strangely, i have no problem with other people's kids. I think i just have too high standards for mine. Maybe you're similar?

The best advice a friend ever gave me with regard to kids is that they're terrorists. They are there to game and play you.

Be consistent.
Tolerate. No. Shit.
Don't let them play you / your partner.
Don't let them sleep in your bed.
Have a firm resolve. You're wiser than them.

The moment they sniff weakness, they've got you.

 

[caad9]

Kids are fuckheads and everyone expects you to like them. They only ever get older though, and the older they get the closer they get to someone you wanna hang out it.

Your worst time is probably coming after the new baby. BUT your elder one should get better and more fun/reasonable to hang out with after he gets over the first 6 months of not being a single child any more.

When i want to act like a selfish juvenile dickhead i try tk think to myself that they won't be selfish juvenile dickheads as much tomorrow, or the day after.

Strangely, i have no problem with other people's kids. I think i just have too high standards for mine. Maybe you're similar?

This is what it all boils down to for me.
I have high expectations on myself and therefor my kids (3.5 year old and 6 month old twins)
My older one is testing me like nothing has ever tested me before and it's probably got nothing to do with him, but the poor bugger just finds exactly the right times to wind me up.

Great job seeking help, it is something not many are strong enough to do.

The thing I crave is time and space. I don't want to be jamming 'my time' in between other things.

 

[Asininedrivel]

Tolerate. No. Shit.

I never messed with my parents until I was an obnoxious hormonal teenager. They were terrifying when pissed off.

Still don't really get the kids thing. They're meant to be the greatest thing ever / what you're meant to spend your whole life gearing towards (especially if you're female). Also they're amazing and the best thing that's ever ever happened to you and you're never allowed to admit that maybe sometimes on occasion you don't like them all that much or you're a monster. Also our big expensive capital cities and their commute times just seem to be deliberately geared towards keeping working parents frazzled, time poor, generally poor and constantly sleep deprived.

All coming from someone with no kids so it's entirely possible I have nfi what I'm on about, but it's just what I've observed.