Advice for mate with cheating girlfreind?

[No Skid Marks]

A mates just found out that his girlfreind had slept with some other guy. He really loves her and vicea versa but he just found out that she slept with someone else a month ago when they were going through a rough patch in their relationship. What advice do I give him. He is completely shattered and I'm not sure wether to tell him to dump her or stay strong. She is a cool chick, and they make a good couple. What do I tell him? I have to much shit on my own plate to think about it but I don't want to give him the wrong advice.

 

[LTR]

Just tell him to try and have a chat with her about it. If they were a good couple, they would both understand eachother well and would have a bit of trust. If she is tending to seem like she might be doing it again, dump her, because she would have lost all his trust by then.

 

[scblack]

Only they can work it out mate - tell him to try and work out how much she means to him. And also how damaging to his trust her fling has been. Will he truly be able to trust her from here?


I'll just add some extra here - I have a couple of friends who are married, and had something similar happen while married about 10 years ago. They patched things up, are still together, and as happy as ever. What I'm getting at, some people can work it out, and maybe these two will, but it's up to them.

 

[Jordy]

boot her, she obviously cant be trusted

 

[danv]

Maybe he should work out with her WHY she actually did it. Then he will have a better idea of where he stands.

 

[Toxic]

Let 'em work it out. People do really strange things when they're pissed off at someone they have strong feelings for.

 

[W2ttsy]

boot the guy she slept with in the head haha, no.

they have to talk about this. find out if she slept with him, or if he took advantage of her when she was drunk or something.

one of my g.fs was taken advantage of (raped), and i swore id kill him, i had to undergo therapy for two weeks, just so i could get the murder tendancies out of my system. i punched two holes in a wall too.


anyways, enough deviation. find out what happened, but id tend to think that once they have brokent he trust, that its over. then again, if they were broken up when it happened, its not a problem cos she was single again.

w2ttsy

 

[floody]

Honestly, I'd be dumping her, but I guess it depends on the individuals involved.... I'm inclined to say if she had done it once, she would do it again, but on the other had she may be ashamed and regretful about it, in which case its quite possible she has learnt a valuable lesson and would be faithful in future.... Personally though, I wouldn't want to wait and find out.

But yeah, probably an amicable split would be the best solution.
And any anger should really be directed at the girl, not revenge on the guy...after all, she is the one cheating in the relationship, regardless of who with.

W2ttsy, I understand your point intimately (something similar happened to my girlfriend when the US marines were in Hobart 18 months or so ago... hence my abnormal lack of tolerance for americans).
If she was taken advantage of, I definitely would be VERY displeased with the situation and claret would soon flow (and I speak not of wine)...
Doesn't sound like that is the case here though?

 

[scblack]

Floody wrote:

hence my abnormal lack of tolerance for americans

Sorry Floody, but what's abnormal about that? Sounds pretty standard to me! :wink:

 

[floody]

Floody wrote:

hence my abnormal lack of tolerance for americans

Sorry Floody, but what's abnormal about that? Sounds pretty standard to me! :wink:

More that I'd like to beat the particular serviceman to death and bury him in a shallow grave with a bag of lime. But not without putting him through a good few days of excruciating pain.
OT, sorry.

 

[Cheazy]

rather talk to the chick first and find out if shes still dedicated to the relationship and regrets wat she did. if it sound convincing that she still really wants to stick with your friend then tell ur mate to stay strong, but if she doesnt sound very convincing just tell ur mate that shes not worth it and that he should move on...

 

[Fat_Ride]

I would advise him to stay with her but remind him that he has one random root in the bank... what I mean is, next time you are out at the club and some hottie is rubbing up on your mate and he doesn't know what to do remind him that he has one root to equal things up!! Sure she might be pissed off but what is the most she can say?? she did the same thing to him so hey... all good!!






Disclaimer: I am single and single for a reason...

 

[Grip]

I'm not even going to read all the threads above... I just KNOW this is going to get itself locked up nice and tight pretty soon.

But I will say this....

giving advice is like messing with a rabid dog... no matter how sure you are or how easy it seems... you're going to get bitten.

My OPINION then is that if it were me I'd be supportive of whatever a friend is going through and shut the fark up.

 

[scblack]

Floody wrote:

More that I'd like to beat the particular serviceman to death and bury him in a shallow grave with a bag of lime. But not without putting him through a good few days of excruciating pain.
OT, sorry.

More than understandable - no worries.

 

[Scully]

Id be getting rid of her, but thats me. The worst thing you can do now is tell him to ditch her. The best you can do is offer your support and let them work things out. Who knows it may even make them stronger and closer.

 

[kizza]

Like everyone else has said, really they can only work things out. Just be there for him whatere he chooses.
Is she regretful for what shed did, like has she tried to contact him and appologise or is she waiting for him to go to her?

 

[josh_lives_here]

Crush her! :twisted:

 

[farley]

id say just get rid of her. if she really loved him she would not have cheated, it does not matter how much alchohol is in her system. if she really loved him she would not have done it. it just shows that she cannot be trusted and he would be better off with someone else. i know what its like. i really feel for your mate

 

[thewayitis]

i was with a girl and she did the dirty act with a dude 10 years older then me (and im only 17!!) i put up with it once but the second time she took advantage of thinking i would take her back. so i bailed. 2 weeks later at a party she kicked me in the balls 5 times and gave me a black eye because i wouldnt take her back. the bitch also said she hated me riding. so she had to go. basically the dude has to speak to the chick and see where things are screwed. you gotta work out whats good and bad about the realtionship and where to improve on it. but if shes not happy then its time to let go. i loved this girl shitloads but i had to let her go.........

 

[Phantom]

........2 weeks later at a party she kicked me in the balls 5 times and gave me a black eye.......

That's the most painful thing I've heard of in a while.
Were all these kicks in succession, or throughout the night?
Surely after the second kick you would have tried to block her or left the party.

Also, that's a pretty serious kick to the balls when it blacks your eye!

It's probably a good thing you left her!

All TIC.

K