Another thread because it's a big deal and I'm a big deal.
*Okay I don't think I'm that big a deal but I'm kinda cool and know stuff and I'm too drunk to find the other thread. Please help.
AITA for wanting to leave my fiancée because of a 'friendship' with a former flame.
So. I started seeing my fiancée just under 2 years ago. She's cool, attractive, fun to hang out with, all the things a guy might want.
But early on she kept talking about the last guy she seriously dated. I can fill in the blanks if needed but TLDR she said they struggled to maintain a platonic relationship after they stopped dating. As he came up in conversation regularly, especially if she was drunk, and if she was really drunk, "they tried to be friends but couldn't stop fucking." Her words, not mine.
I tried to end it as I felt she wasn't over him, which was fine, emotions are complicated, but she assured me he was a trivial unimportant person in her life. I chalked it up to my own insecurities but couldn't help but notice they still followed eachother on socials etc.
It never sat well with me.
Fast forward to last week. We are having lunch and she has her phone in hand showing me something and he messages. Not my finest moment but when I get home I check her tablet to find a message from about 7 weeks ago (or to put it another way, 9 months after we got engaged and 11 months before the wedding) saying
"I'm not going to spout romantic clichés about the one that got away. But I said it the other night. No one has ever just 'got me'. You did. You do. You have - and I am sure will always be - the one I wonder about. You're my unanswered question. I think you and I as a we could have been brilliant. But we never tried."
Am I right to be leaving her or am I the insecure asshole who is overreacting?
*Okay I don't think I'm that big a deal but I'm kinda cool and know stuff and I'm too drunk to find the other thread. Please help.
AITA for wanting to leave my fiancée because of a 'friendship' with a former flame.
So. I started seeing my fiancée just under 2 years ago. She's cool, attractive, fun to hang out with, all the things a guy might want.
But early on she kept talking about the last guy she seriously dated. I can fill in the blanks if needed but TLDR she said they struggled to maintain a platonic relationship after they stopped dating. As he came up in conversation regularly, especially if she was drunk, and if she was really drunk, "they tried to be friends but couldn't stop fucking." Her words, not mine.
I tried to end it as I felt she wasn't over him, which was fine, emotions are complicated, but she assured me he was a trivial unimportant person in her life. I chalked it up to my own insecurities but couldn't help but notice they still followed eachother on socials etc.
It never sat well with me.
Fast forward to last week. We are having lunch and she has her phone in hand showing me something and he messages. Not my finest moment but when I get home I check her tablet to find a message from about 7 weeks ago (or to put it another way, 9 months after we got engaged and 11 months before the wedding) saying
"I'm not going to spout romantic clichés about the one that got away. But I said it the other night. No one has ever just 'got me'. You did. You do. You have - and I am sure will always be - the one I wonder about. You're my unanswered question. I think you and I as a we could have been brilliant. But we never tried."
Am I right to be leaving her or am I the insecure asshole who is overreacting?
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