Confessions from the fuckwits

JTmofo

JTmofo

XC Enthusiast
Elbo said:
I would like to nominate myself for first place in achieving masters in complete fuckwittery.
I was on my way to a ride this morning and made a spur of the moment decision to grab an iced coffee and apple scroll from the bakery on the way. I pulled into the underground carpark and it was only after I heard the bang that I came to the horrible realisation that my bike was on the roof... Keyword being 'was'. My entire roof rack ripped off the car but no major damage done to the bike apart from a few scratches and a broken shifter and squished cable. I now have a dent in the roof of my car, slightly bent gutters and a very bruised ego.
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You win.... That's the greatest fuckwittery one could hope to achieve.
I would like to hope I would never do this.... And I'd rather smash up my bike than damage my car.
 
T

takai

Eats Squid
I have taken off the hanging clearance sign in a mates 4WD once. His car normally fits through the 2.1m clearance sign at the local shops, so this time i went into a 2.2m clearance carpark. Well the bloody signage wasnt 2.2m now was it, plus the chain/sign got tangled up in the roof racks and ripped the dynabolts out of the roof. :heh:
 
link1896

link1896

Mr Greenfield
I should nominate my old work college Sam. He got an old Ford Bedford van stuck in an underground car park. Got it wedged under the concrete roof of the up ramp. Had to get a tow truck to pull it out too after 10 minutes of monumental burnouts did nothing.
 
D

davehirst

Likes Dirt
link1896 said:
I should nominate my old work college Sam. He got an old Ford Bedford van stuck in an underground car park. Got it wedged under the concrete roof of the up ramp. Had to get a tow truck to pull it out too after 10 minutes of monumental burnouts did nothing.
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should have let the air out of the tyres ;-)
 
Elbo

Elbo

pesky scooter kids git off ma lawn
JTmofo said:
You win.... That's the greatest fuckwittery one could hope to achieve.
I would like to hope I would never do this.... And I'd rather smash up my bike than damage my car.
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I never thought I'd be stupid enough to do it... But there you have it. Feel like a proper fuckwit now. Too much on my mind obviously. Thankfully only one other person saw it (by the way, thanks to that person for yelling out or beeping to stop, because that would've been really helpful...) I didn't like running roof racks anyway. Did like my GTI without a dent in the roof though :(
 
pharmaboy

pharmaboy

Eats Squid
Elbo said:
I would like to nominate myself for first place in achieving masters in complete fuckwittery.
I was on my way to a ride this morning and made a spur of the moment decision to grab an iced coffee and apple scroll from the bakery on the way. I pulled into the underground carpark and it was only after I heard the bang that I came to the horrible realisation that my bike was on the roof... Keyword being 'was'. My entire roof rack ripped off the car but no major damage done to the bike apart from a few scratches and a broken shifter and squished cable. I now have a dent in the roof of my car, slightly bent gutters and a very bruised ego.
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Nah, fuckwittery requires that you once said publicly - "that will never happen to me, I'm careful about my bikes on the roof"

Me, I know I'm an idiot, and spend countless thousands of dollars on rear bike carriers etc
 
M

Matt Symes

Squid
Ah Elbo,
I know your pain. I did the roof rack trick on the way home from a week long cycling job.
I'm super aware of the bike all the time but just decided to go to maccas instead of cooking when I got home. I said to myself "I'll just go and park in the car park and get some food and go home". Next thing, I'm driving throught the drive through and im hearing this crappy noise ( which clearly was not coming from my car).
Next thing there's a pop and my bike, still held in place by the roof racks, lands on the ground behind me.
The bike was fine but my Forester needed a new roof...

The latest dumb thing I've done was rout my chain over instead of behind a guide on my new radR cage.
Thought it sounded kind of off and felt a little straing. But I found it before too much damage was done and now it's amazing.
 
rowdyflat

rowdyflat

chez le médecin
Matt Symes that will learn you to go to Maccas for poison.
Like slippy I am amazed that people still use roof bike racks around cities etc.
There must be about 1000 bike industry + insurance people employed world wide just replacing the bikes not to mention the more expensive option of car roof repair.
 
D

DJR

Likes Dirt
foxpuppet said:
It's a ratchet with forward and reverse so I figured it works the same when loosening.... But maybe I've been wrong all this time. I could test it by setting it really low and seeing if it clicks over.
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Just don't. The only reason it has the direction switch is for tightening reverse thread nuts and bolts. There's very few if them out there but they do exist ( eg if you used it to tighten a reverse thread bb cup)

I have busted two 1/2" breaker bars in the past year trying to get car CV shaft locknuts off ...
 
Elbo

Elbo

pesky scooter kids git off ma lawn
DJR said:
I have busted two 1/2" breaker bars in the past year trying to get car CV shaft locknuts off ...
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I used a 1/2" breaker bar with the handle of my trolley jack over it to make a 2m long lever and that undid mine.

I made a 6mm hex key look like a piece of liquorice after undoing the top strut nuts with it.. and that was after continually soaking the threads in WD-40 for a few weeks prior. Steering and suspension are not fun parts to work on.
 
link1896

link1896

Mr Greenfield
Elbo said:
I used a 1/2" breaker bar with the handle of my trolley jack over it to make a 2m long lever and that undid mine.

I made a 6mm hex key look like a piece of liquorice after undoing the top strut nuts with it.. and that was after continually soaking the threads in WD-40 for a few weeks prior. Steering and suspension are not fun parts to work on.
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a 50/50 mix of automatic transmission fluid and acetone is much better at penetrating. put in a squirt bottle and shake the shit out of it and apply.
 
bell.cameron

bell.cameron

Likes Dirt
Just get some balistol. Working at a 60 year old oil refinery where things are usually so rusted the studs amalgamate into the nuts NOTHING ever penetrates even close to that stuff, and it smells like dicks too for good measure.
 
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