moorey
call me Mia
Sure...THATS the reason :eyebrows:
I have both HAD, and HAVE BEEN, appauling house mates over the years, but the less I say about that on a public forum, the better for everyone:yield:
I love stupid housemates!!!
- Thread starter jimiemick
- Start date
I have both HAD, and HAVE BEEN, appauling house mates over the years, but the less I say about that on a public forum, the better for everyone:yield:
I had a flatmate that took me about 4 hours to realise I'd made a huge mistake in letting him share my flat. I really should have gone for the nice European lady despite the fact she'd offered a fair bit less money. That's what greed gets ya.
First night he cooks up a shit storm for him and his g/f + mate. Kitchen is total fricken disaster area then he pipes up he is off to the pub and just flat out leaves it. I was nothing short of furious. It did not get better.
I used to get up real early to go training. He would get home at night during the week and watch TV till all hours with the volume turned up to 11 on a super trick sound system with massive speakers. Even after I would get up and tell him to turn it down it was still loud enough to hear down the street. He could not figure out why I had an issue with this.
One night mid week I got woken up at 3am - he'd met some guys down the pub and thought it'd be a great idea to bring them round and have a loud piss up.
The first fortnight was the only time he ever paid rent on time. Ended up owing me thousands. He worked out my schedule and after a while would never be home when I was. Pissed me off no end but at least I could get some sleep.
I'd get home at night and I'd find his g/f watching TV. He was nowhere to be found as he was out with his mates. I never could figure out why he or the g/f thought it was OK for her to stay when he was not there.
Few of my business shirts went missing around the time he was going to interviews. He'd supposedly lost his job just after moving in - I doubt he'd ever had one to start with.
My payback involved using his toothbrush to wipe my arse after taking a dump. Sure saved on TP but it was a bit rough.
The only good thing he did was leaving his expensive surround sound system with me as collateral till he'd paid what he owed me 6+ months later. The poor sap actually thought I might like to hang out with him in the future!
My next flatmate was pretty bad but after that experience it was almost dreamlike although funnily enough she never bought TP same as another poster wrote in this thread. Wierd. Only started buying some years later after I stashed some in my room and took it back and forwards to the bathroom.
My payback for her was jacking up the rent to cover all the shit I'd ended up paying for her to use.
First night he cooks up a shit storm for him and his g/f + mate. Kitchen is total fricken disaster area then he pipes up he is off to the pub and just flat out leaves it. I was nothing short of furious. It did not get better.
I used to get up real early to go training. He would get home at night during the week and watch TV till all hours with the volume turned up to 11 on a super trick sound system with massive speakers. Even after I would get up and tell him to turn it down it was still loud enough to hear down the street. He could not figure out why I had an issue with this.
One night mid week I got woken up at 3am - he'd met some guys down the pub and thought it'd be a great idea to bring them round and have a loud piss up.
The first fortnight was the only time he ever paid rent on time. Ended up owing me thousands. He worked out my schedule and after a while would never be home when I was. Pissed me off no end but at least I could get some sleep.
I'd get home at night and I'd find his g/f watching TV. He was nowhere to be found as he was out with his mates. I never could figure out why he or the g/f thought it was OK for her to stay when he was not there.
Few of my business shirts went missing around the time he was going to interviews. He'd supposedly lost his job just after moving in - I doubt he'd ever had one to start with.
My payback involved using his toothbrush to wipe my arse after taking a dump. Sure saved on TP but it was a bit rough.
The only good thing he did was leaving his expensive surround sound system with me as collateral till he'd paid what he owed me 6+ months later. The poor sap actually thought I might like to hang out with him in the future!
My next flatmate was pretty bad but after that experience it was almost dreamlike although funnily enough she never bought TP same as another poster wrote in this thread. Wierd. Only started buying some years later after I stashed some in my room and took it back and forwards to the bathroom.
My payback for her was jacking up the rent to cover all the shit I'd ended up paying for her to use.
Bermshot
Banned
Lol! Wow they are among us!!!
For those struggling, Granny Flats are your best friend, I haven't had a shit landlord yet, although I did bust one snooping around inside but that never happend again. A bit dearer than sharing but more often than not all bills are inclusive, so no overheads! Other pluses are, you can dodge sensiss, all door knockers are void, don't have to deal with other peeps guttural behaviour and if your lucky, even barter rent for yard work rendered.
yes you live alone but thats what the pub is for!
PS: Best op is to put your own advertisement in the paper, that way (in good times) you get to choose which dwelling you opt for.
For those struggling, Granny Flats are your best friend, I haven't had a shit landlord yet, although I did bust one snooping around inside but that never happend again. A bit dearer than sharing but more often than not all bills are inclusive, so no overheads! Other pluses are, you can dodge sensiss, all door knockers are void, don't have to deal with other peeps guttural behaviour and if your lucky, even barter rent for yard work rendered.
yes you live alone but thats what the pub is for!
PS: Best op is to put your own advertisement in the paper, that way (in good times) you get to choose which dwelling you opt for.
SprocketFury
Likes Bikes
My latest housemate was a bad boyfriend but a worse housemate. I'm focusing on the housematey things but it's also long.
I lived for 6 months in this freaking dump of a place, paid way too much for it, but there was room for my dog and we were in an urgent situation so I dealt with it. Diva (short for Diva Dan because he was just such a drama queen) was supposed to be living with his parents but spent most of his time at my place. He managed to live with me rent-free and bill-free and ate all my food and drank all my beer. The beer I was especially pissed about as I had been collecting bottles from work at a brewery as knock-off drinks for about 6 months, and I was saving it all for new years. The fridge was damn near FULL with assorted stubbies. Diva said he'd replace it, and never did. He also never did housework. On one occasion he promised to do the dishes, so I held him to it. A week later I was txting him asking him when he'd do the dishes. He offered me money instead and I told him I'd take it but he still needed to do the dishes. When he got home that evening the dishes took him an entire 30 minutes to do while I sarcastically applauded his efforts. He spent his time smoking cigarettes and playing PS3 on his lovely flatscreen TV.
I put up with him because... probably boredom, his PS3, and being an incredibly sweet and tolerant person.
Once the lease was up on that hellhole, Diva and I escaped to my current place. He co-signed the lease and bond agreement, etc. He paid rent here, mostly paid his share of bills, but he was still a lazy shit who never contributed to groceries or housework. Now this house is nice. It had brand new carpet and paint when we moved in. We agreed we weren't going to smoke inside, it was too nice, it wasn't fair to the pets (two or three rats who need decent air to breathe goodly & aforementioned dog) and I was trying to quit anyhow. I had to get on his case about helping me unpack. I lectured him one day before I went to work, came back to find he'd actually unpacked the boxes that had been sitting in the kitchen for nearly two weeks since we'd moved in.
One night I came home from work to find the house smelled like cigarette smoke. I had long ago stopped announcing my return and would just come home hoping to find Diva being an idiot and this night he delivered. Diva said that he was smoking outside with the back door open, and the dog bolted back inside after a mouse and he forgot to put his cigarette down when he ran inside after the dog. Big sighthound mutt barging back into the house because he saw something small and fast in the next room - yeah, that's not one of those occasions you OMGchase the dog inside, even IF he was telling the truth. And, really, don't implicate MY DOG in your lies, you bag of dicks!
It's established by now that Diva has the IQ of a potato.
I was going out on the town one evening, and I was looking for my camera. I thought I saw it around the TV area in the lounge. I looked under the TV cabinet and pulled out a glass juice bottle filled with cigarette butts. That finally explained why the dog stank and coughed his guts up, and why my rats were sick with respitory distress. Diva incurred the wrath and was instructed to get out ASAP, find a new place immediately, we are finished. He tried to tell me it was old and I asked him, when we had specifically agreed we weren't going to smoke inside, how an "old" bottle of butts wound up inside our new house hidden under the TV cabinet. Besides, he was too stupid to take the label off of it, and I remembered that particular flavour from a day a few weeks prior, because neither of us liked it so I'd tipped out and put into recycling.
He moved back in with his parents about two weeks after that incident, but not before spewing insults at me. He left all of his posessions behind in my garage and made excuses like he "couldn't get [his] brother in law's trailer" or was "too busy" despite his one part-time job. After about 2 weeks of that crap I told him it would go the same way as the last ex/housemate's stuff (never returned for it so it got sold to pay the bills he owed money on, had some very happy customerfriends) unless he paid me a weekly amount to keep his shit at my place. My garage magically emptied itself out within 24 hours! Small shame, I'd already lined up buyers for a few of his things, such as his stupid Nerf gun collection.
Diva still hasn't paid the $500/whatever it was in his share of bills he owes, tried but failed to screw me over with the bond on the house, and threatened me with court action which a year later hasn't happened yet. I can't even remember what that was for. He only lived here between the start of May and the end of July, last year.
The last I heard from that particular ex-housemate, was that he was foolishly telling people (in a small town) he was going to steal my dog.
I made sure it got back to him that if he so much as considered going through with his incredibly brainless idea, his body would never be located. :nono:
As I suspected, he wasn't stupid enough to attempt to steal my dog. That, or he was too lazy.
tl;dr:
:Banane24:
(the dog features heavily, but he is a fantastic housemate. here's dog rocking the monocle, and dog being serious.)
I lived for 6 months in this freaking dump of a place, paid way too much for it, but there was room for my dog and we were in an urgent situation so I dealt with it. Diva (short for Diva Dan because he was just such a drama queen) was supposed to be living with his parents but spent most of his time at my place. He managed to live with me rent-free and bill-free and ate all my food and drank all my beer. The beer I was especially pissed about as I had been collecting bottles from work at a brewery as knock-off drinks for about 6 months, and I was saving it all for new years. The fridge was damn near FULL with assorted stubbies. Diva said he'd replace it, and never did. He also never did housework. On one occasion he promised to do the dishes, so I held him to it. A week later I was txting him asking him when he'd do the dishes. He offered me money instead and I told him I'd take it but he still needed to do the dishes. When he got home that evening the dishes took him an entire 30 minutes to do while I sarcastically applauded his efforts. He spent his time smoking cigarettes and playing PS3 on his lovely flatscreen TV.
I put up with him because... probably boredom, his PS3, and being an incredibly sweet and tolerant person.
Once the lease was up on that hellhole, Diva and I escaped to my current place. He co-signed the lease and bond agreement, etc. He paid rent here, mostly paid his share of bills, but he was still a lazy shit who never contributed to groceries or housework. Now this house is nice. It had brand new carpet and paint when we moved in. We agreed we weren't going to smoke inside, it was too nice, it wasn't fair to the pets (two or three rats who need decent air to breathe goodly & aforementioned dog) and I was trying to quit anyhow. I had to get on his case about helping me unpack. I lectured him one day before I went to work, came back to find he'd actually unpacked the boxes that had been sitting in the kitchen for nearly two weeks since we'd moved in.
One night I came home from work to find the house smelled like cigarette smoke. I had long ago stopped announcing my return and would just come home hoping to find Diva being an idiot and this night he delivered. Diva said that he was smoking outside with the back door open, and the dog bolted back inside after a mouse and he forgot to put his cigarette down when he ran inside after the dog. Big sighthound mutt barging back into the house because he saw something small and fast in the next room - yeah, that's not one of those occasions you OMGchase the dog inside, even IF he was telling the truth. And, really, don't implicate MY DOG in your lies, you bag of dicks!
It's established by now that Diva has the IQ of a potato.
I was going out on the town one evening, and I was looking for my camera. I thought I saw it around the TV area in the lounge. I looked under the TV cabinet and pulled out a glass juice bottle filled with cigarette butts. That finally explained why the dog stank and coughed his guts up, and why my rats were sick with respitory distress. Diva incurred the wrath and was instructed to get out ASAP, find a new place immediately, we are finished. He tried to tell me it was old and I asked him, when we had specifically agreed we weren't going to smoke inside, how an "old" bottle of butts wound up inside our new house hidden under the TV cabinet. Besides, he was too stupid to take the label off of it, and I remembered that particular flavour from a day a few weeks prior, because neither of us liked it so I'd tipped out and put into recycling.
He moved back in with his parents about two weeks after that incident, but not before spewing insults at me. He left all of his posessions behind in my garage and made excuses like he "couldn't get [his] brother in law's trailer" or was "too busy" despite his one part-time job. After about 2 weeks of that crap I told him it would go the same way as the last ex/housemate's stuff (never returned for it so it got sold to pay the bills he owed money on, had some very happy customerfriends) unless he paid me a weekly amount to keep his shit at my place. My garage magically emptied itself out within 24 hours! Small shame, I'd already lined up buyers for a few of his things, such as his stupid Nerf gun collection.
Diva still hasn't paid the $500/whatever it was in his share of bills he owes, tried but failed to screw me over with the bond on the house, and threatened me with court action which a year later hasn't happened yet. I can't even remember what that was for. He only lived here between the start of May and the end of July, last year.
The last I heard from that particular ex-housemate, was that he was foolishly telling people (in a small town) he was going to steal my dog.
I made sure it got back to him that if he so much as considered going through with his incredibly brainless idea, his body would never be located. :nono:
As I suspected, he wasn't stupid enough to attempt to steal my dog. That, or he was too lazy.
tl;dr:
:Banane24:
(the dog features heavily, but he is a fantastic housemate. here's dog rocking the monocle, and dog being serious.)
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Matt H
Eats Squid
Bringing this back up to the top.
Just a little one, but I thought I'd stop filling the LTIH thread up.
I lent my tools to my housemates so they could put up a basketball hoop. They finished building it (with some help from me, these two are the least mechanically competent males I've ever met), and then left the toolkit out with screwdrivers and spanners scattered across the driveway and outside stairs. This is the kind of thing my dad kicked me up the arse for when I was about 14.
Just a little one, but I thought I'd stop filling the LTIH thread up.
I lent my tools to my housemates so they could put up a basketball hoop. They finished building it (with some help from me, these two are the least mechanically competent males I've ever met), and then left the toolkit out with screwdrivers and spanners scattered across the driveway and outside stairs. This is the kind of thing my dad kicked me up the arse for when I was about 14.
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Norco Maniac
Is back!
he'd have to be either an incredibly good root or have magical dog-whisperer skillz.
harmonix1234
Eats Squid
I once lent a canon 70-300mm lens to a flatmate because he was doing a photography course.
I didn't know it at the time, but he sold it that day to the pawn shop and went and got a quarter ounce of weed.
He brought the weed home and we all smoked it and played mario kart.
A week later when he had finished his TAFE course I asked for the lens back and he said he didn't have it, and that he sold it, and he didn't owe me any money because I helped him smoke the weed.
Tops.
Havn't had a bong in 10 years. Still miss that lens though.
Funny thing is, just the other day the guy puts on facebook 'Just got my first bike. Went for a ride and the gears are all f*cked. Anyone know how to fix it"?
I reply "Yeah, piece of cake"
He asks "Cool, reckon you could come around and fix it"?
I reply "Reckon you could come around with a canon telephoto zoom lens"?
No reply.
rone
Eats Squid
Some people's moral compass is so far out is stops being funny. Ten years on and I would still fell like killing the bloke.
Bahahaha that's gold! Good work!
Norco Maniac
Is back!
when i was 17 some housemates of mine decided to make a chandelier of chicken bones while they were tripping on acid.:nono:
rone
Eats Squid
Why not fix the gears then take it for a "test ride" straight to the hock shop.
They might swap it for a new zoom lens.
Harmonix - DO THIS!:evil:
Art Vanderlay
Hourly daily
No, sell it for a bag of weed!
SprocketFury
Likes Bikes
Nope, and especially nope. He wasn't a huge fan of Dog, probably because Dog would punch, kick or headbutt him in the sack at every opportunity. I suspect Diva of beating Dog while I wasn't home, he had tender ribs for a patch near the end of Diva's stint at The Pawhouse.
Good riddance! Him and his fucking VR covered in Holden stickers...
rone
Eats Squid
That should have been a big clue right there.
Norco Maniac
Is back!
no wonder Dog was headbutting him....some people are real @rsewipes. go Dog!!
mind you, i've put up with more than my fair share of dropkicks, thank goodness i finally wised up. at the moment the worst of my housemates are the IL's cats - one of whom is such a princess he won't use the litter tray.
i've done enough venting about that lately too....
SprocketFury
Likes Bikes
Well I had certain hormonal issues when we met. To begin with, it was only this big, obnoxious logo across the back windscreen. Apparently he's now an even BIGGER douchebag.
I accidentally parked next to his car in my partner's ute the other week. Didn't recognise it until I was already out of the car and recognised the numberplate as I passed behind it. Stopped, tilted my head to the side... squinted, tilted a bit more, and then let out a massive groan, and it wasn't for all the little Holden stickers all over the bonnet.
He's replaced the one big logo with an enormous Holden lion, resting his paw on a Ford logo, "look what the cat dragged in!!!!" all caps underneath, and off to the bottom corner a facebook thumbs-up graphic with "your daughter likes this". *shudder*
Bullet successfully dodged.
successkid.jpg
Fuckin people that leave the lids off shit. It's driving me insane.
Just bought some milk this morning, come to make a coffee just then and the lid is just resting on top. Just about spilt milk everywhere. Go to put a bit of sugar in it, the lid to the sugar container isn't clipped in and is resting on top. Luckily I killed a heap of ants yesterday - ant's that came from the pile of washing up left on the sink.
That and singing, doing weights and dropping them on the floor at like 11:30pm-12midnight each night of swotvac from the bloke in the next room + leaving the front door open and lights on.
Luckily I can escape for a couple of hours on my bike.
Just bought some milk this morning, come to make a coffee just then and the lid is just resting on top. Just about spilt milk everywhere. Go to put a bit of sugar in it, the lid to the sugar container isn't clipped in and is resting on top. Luckily I killed a heap of ants yesterday - ant's that came from the pile of washing up left on the sink.
That and singing, doing weights and dropping them on the floor at like 11:30pm-12midnight each night of swotvac from the bloke in the next room + leaving the front door open and lights on.
Luckily I can escape for a couple of hours on my bike.
Regan of Gong
Likes Dirt
My housemate is strange. He's a chef, but only ever eats frozen pizza. His shopping consists of pizzas, Coke, 4 packs of Magnums and V. Currently he's working his way through all 9 seasons of NCIS, watching it at 5 hours a day, when he's not playing World of Warcraft. Once, we caught a mouse in a trap that didn't quite kill it, so he bludgeoned it to death with a lump of wood. Doesn't really make mess though, and he's got a massive TV.