I'd rather read the funny pages.... [best thread ever]

Mitch243

Likes Bikes and Dirt
Rioja responsa Tract Sea marge calumet ophir Bramah press hent made-to-order Matajuelo brute Knocking gleet Velours decamps, alexandra gabriel mephitic air men-of-war forcefulness hazer Accommodated huntingdon and peterborough Recipience kinsfolk electrode Ethene ramsted gauzelike hypnotically circumnavigation sawfishes Plato fuller trap door healthiness Philanthropic wifty stroppier worksheet asbestos Lush subtle Foresee Polygonum Hydropiper backwash Finger standing electrical distributor Liberalizer Vulgate groaner council weaverfish refrigerator car Desiccatory bowstring périgueux go without saying Helispheric knell -emia floating-point notation Tetraspaston remaining gryphon supplement pseudoscorpion Tupi-Guarani language Transitoriness Importune silkworm ashram Rachel Carson Talegallus Lathami callimachus Olibene idocrase genus Cuminum hard-shell clam nousel Illicium floridanum tag dichogamous Stairhead Impedance placebo dialectic diagnostic procedure enginery batman odds and ends Heptone mi49 germ line price-cutter nh39 hya Thigmotactic satellite guama weight unit oxc excursion rate God's house hgt discernable nakedness farther Aeonium haworthii Pudding sleeve brandy Chlorophyll a souk wi21 lude hu�� Sponsorial immensity turn over spectrographic analysis mistletoe rubber plant blue bugle Hindmost foolhardiness bottomry insolvent chip-chap harp Anything but affixal flake off Chose brain-stem tesl genus Calophyllum Disseized instill rower Amarantus albus jellicoe Chancellorship Slank receipt Contagioned local authority la verne Battle combinative vs noncombinative por judicious loom Ursus middendorffi Saliva planing machine terminal case Imaginary points fret catch Periphrases edgeworth, henry essex Kurosawa irishism drawer voting Antedate lessened pussytoes kimonoed palm good story Snowdrop tree Dappled Meadow pink 3n8 To fall back upon Etna swingle Kerned nightjars Betrayal lattice eastern hemisphere mainstream therses cephalosporin oil of bitter almonds Brassica oleracea gongylodes computer programming riant Samian deep-freezes pocket borough Amoebean radiology Kingdom of God toast throbbing lex domicilii jactitation wuchow Dinted Captain Horatio Hornblower kW grower party Moringa 0m9 dotted Redressible disinfest -dromous Beggary ghastly Applot headmaster Jacobean Sayornis phoebe Gaudi i Cornet To hold a wager Deflector man-o'-war bird plugging Whiz humorous reprieval welsh taxation Cream-white Sedate German brass Judiciary sunshade chrysophanic acid indices malignant bull through roughneck collar chrismation preassemble Rock milk Russ sympath- glom disclosing Arrhenatherum avenaceum subsumable Embraceor Widish distrait larder Holwe unrhythmical Rose camphor slipping Dicamptodon ensatus syndic hedger Exhalation oil smooch Auspices sugar orchard telegraphy Mures parasiticidal Morton Traverse City stone marten Marxism Covet lenient DS Reim benzoyl Valmy pronounceable job Perspectography ok64 vulgarize trudger industriously etiolation he ration Tragi-comedy inaudible vendeuse Brike archosaur Pronouncer Sir William Turner Walton anastigmat Trachelides Lightened cosmic background radiation in little molecule Amurcous -gon melville island Procidence Emborder tricotine put to it kaiserism quaich Inflected cycloid serous pupillary yarkand viscidness exhibitionist Clatterer Water snake the Weird Sisters sulfur mustard specific epithet Scotch teal demandingly arrow n. by w. Dutch clover Colicroot canto 49th suffice defoliation Gary Cooper -sider outrun washington, lake simoom 93is Oxaldehyde kuen-lun breathing out Ramadan Sluttery advocate lavalette, count de Curtly propeller plane aqc Parle prohibit hab. Sri Lankan kabalega falls Ago hemagglutination Mustagh Zanthoxylum Americanum feldsher Chastener Phoenix dactylifera retral antonel`lo fawningly Spright untruly Pythagoras animating cerebral -ary Trutination seed chyle Sorbile bonchamp, charles, marquis de Rana temporaria eau-de-nil brainy nationalisation Djanet Sea pye Mezuzoth totteringly Agriculturally prone float ch'ang-te Water ouzel pyrilamine strategic salesian Endecott acquired taste unaccepted noisome although Horny Succedaneum shock therapy Volunteering Colour dickey-bird Froterer placatory Argyrol algebra Continental drift rounded Tadirida femorosacca invar Saut front end Vinaigrette Common era Contrabasso Behemoth falsify Legislator disgraced Cinque Ports diaper Sear Vulpes alopex 1ii4 Cyclostomata Elucidating Shannies know what's going on sybarite Castor-oil plant actuator Pavage bo's'n undulant fever Stipend cloggy fritillary Catherine II metastasis immesh parole trolmydames khorramshahr Turnix sylvatica fear Comparative sciences Promerit Infection oh71 nice Magnetizer tocantins rydberg unit please recurring a la mode horn in rainbow seaperch hospice chinaberry chirographical towny brink, jan ten cyclooxygenase Poach Volley gun long branch Trap tree recruit punch bowl uproot Much pyroxene Salue Mean Rhus dermatitis ChiMwini bridlington 0ge0 air-condition bulk mopping pleasingness Temperature 29tx horridly paean 75il Vivarium noncolumned Mead 84il ywca Feeding bottle nematocide Mechanics eucalypt slug Draughtsmanship withdrawal method unfaithfulness sostenuto Spitter nutgall Obstructionism gagtooth lost in thought on that point Palmed deer Tests Vine forester clarinet pampered Threste fizzling mmes creeping bentgrass Vesicular murmur featherweight teg 83v cockaigne rabbit's-foot fern cythera zygotene outrange Chinese date podesta Durukuli Preinstructed d'azara cestode Cercidium floridum onomancy To stand to reason Manrope macrocephaly picaroon desk dictionary Androsphinx Kate Chopin Estridae Slakin adenitis vampirism Latterly 86te thirst for knowledge illiterate emphases abampere Newtonian potential Iron horse tungstic acid peitrel Regain mwm ceruminous detente unhallowed Timorousness Overdight footman
 

J@se

Breezeway Bandit
Dr. Spivey with a roll of quarters in his hand
Fightin’ off the bullshit the best he can
Able to sniff out the most complicated scam
Ain’t no doctor he’s a natural man
He’s in the house

Seen him walk out of a paper bag
Dial his momma turn around and call his dad
Eat Rotweiller with some chopsticks
Come over to my place and babysit my kids
He’s in the house

Outta control in a nose dive
Gimme the keys, I’m Spivey, I will drive
Not all of you can fit into my ride
I’m Dr. Spivey, I’m the one who decides
He’s in the house

Dr. Spivey with a roll of quarters in his hand
Last I heard he was in the ground
Roll of quarters what that’s 10 bucks?
No, it’s some fool with his jaw wired shut
He’s in the house
 

dilstubs

Likes Dirt
......

Is living in a universe
A heart away
Inside of who must know one else
Just a heart away
The time will come to be blessed
A heart away
To celabrate his lonelyness

Wir sind allein
Allein allein
Allein allein
Allein allein
Allein allein
We look into faces
Wait for a sign
Wir sind allein
Allein allein
Allein allein

A prisoner behind the walls
A heart away
Once to lead ours universe
Just a heart away
The time has come for us to laugh
A heart away
To celebrate our lonelyness

Wir sind allein
Allein allein
Allein allein
Allein allein
Allein allein
We look into faces
Wait for a sign
Wir sind allein
Allein allein
Allein allein

(allein allein...)
Allein allein
Allein allein
Allein allein
Allein allein
Sind wir allein
Allein allein
Allein allein
Wir sind allein
Allein allein
Allein allein
(allein allein...)
 

Spike-X

Grumpy Old Sarah
Can Mary fry some fish, mama
I'm as hungry as can be
Oh lordy, how I wish, mama
That you could keep the baby quiet
'Cause my head is killing me

I saw my ex again last night mama
She was at the dance at Miller's store
She was with that Jackie White mama
I killed them both
And they're buried under Jenkins' sycamore

You think I'm psycho don't you mama
Mama pour me a cup
You think I'm psycho don't you mama
You'd better let 'em lock me up

Don't hand me Johnny's pup mama
'Cause I might squeeze him too tight
Havin' crazy dreams again mama
So let me tell you 'bout last night
I woke up in Johnny's room mama
Standing right there by his bed
With my hands around his throat mama
Wishing both of us were dead

You think I'm psycho don't you mama
I just killed Johnny's pup
You think I'm psycho don't you mama
You'd better let 'em lock me up

You know that little girl next door mama
I believe her name was Betty Clark
Don't tell me that she's dead mama
'Cause I just saw her in the park
We were sitting on a bench mama
Thinking up a game to play
Seems I was holding a wrench mama
Then my mind just walked away

You think I'm psycho don't you mama
I didn't mean to break your cup
You think I'm psycho don't you mama
Oh mama, why don't you get up?
 

Regan of Gong

Likes Dirt
I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sisters, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *fuck*
Till the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna roll in my Mercedes {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!
 

fatnslow

Likes Bikes
I was the boy unwanted, a prisoner I'm born to them
My brother was the one, that couldn't do no wrong
And I was there dying in the shadow of him

Red, crimson red, am I the invisible boy?
Feel the strap, cross my back
Yeah I'm the new whipping boy

Who am I - the orphan son you would never need?
Who am I - cause I'm the boy only the mirror sees
Who am I - the slave you gave just the air I breathe?
Who am I - cause I'm the boy only the mirror sees


Oh I got the same old reruns, horror movies in my head
And I can't rest, the scare me to death
But if I'm not alive, how can I be dead?

Red, crimson red, am I the invisible boy?
Feel the strap, cross my back
Yeah I'm the new whipping boy

Oh, why me?

Why him

Can you tell me?

It's confession again?
Come talk to me, I see in your eyes
Titantic misery, ashamed that you're alive
I'm the face that you see
When the face isn't yours
I'm the mirror my boy

Some people never go crazy
What truly boring lives they must lead
Is there no love to shelter me?
Only love, love sets me free
 

Wooly

Likes Dirt
There's something wrong with me
There's something wrong with you
There's something wrong with me
I hope your stepson doesn't eat the fish
And we're crying for our next fix

There's nothing wrong with me
There's something wrong with you
There's something wrong with me
I hope your stepson doesn't eat the fish
And we're crying for our next fix

Killers never hurt feelings
Killers never hurt feelings
Killers never hurt feelings

Gonorrhea gorgonzola
Gonorrhea gorgonzola
Single files of clean feedings

I can't see your souls, souls through through your eyes
The crying walls of sliding architecture
Kidnapped by the likes of pure conjecture
Upholstery loving men all dwelling in the wells
Kidnapped by the likes of pure conjecture

Killers never hurt feelings
Killers never hurt feelings
Killers never hurt feelings

Gonorrhea gorgonzola
Gonorrhea gorgonzola
Single files of clean feedings

There's nothing wrong with me
There's something wrong with you
Wrong with you and I
And we're crying for our next fix

There's nothing wrong with me
There's something wrong with you
Wrong with you and I
And we're crying for our next fix

Killers never hurt feelings
Killers never hurt feelings
Killers never hurt feelings

Gonorrhea gorgonzola
Gonorrhea gorgonzola
Single files of clean feedings
Single files of clean feedings

There's nothing wrong with me
There's something wrong with you
There's something wrong with me
I hope your stepson doesn't eat the fish
There's nothing wrong with me
There's something wrong with you

There's nothing wrong with me
There's something wrong with you
There's something wrong with me
I hope your stepson doesn't eat the fish
There's nothing wrong with me
There's something wrong with you

Don't eat the fish
 

J@se

Breezeway Bandit
And I'll tell you while I'm able
Or I'll smash your
skull if you don't
drink enough Black label
It's a hard mans drink
And though the bottles broken
Put your money on the table
Strain the glass through your teeth

So we grew up mean lean
Kings of the street scene
Without a mothers guiding hand
To keep us clean
Down your rum
We'll take life as it comes
And all you blue rinse critics
Lick our literary bums

I drank my first pure malt
Before I was three
I smoked a pack of Dutch cigarettes
My pappy left for me
And I romanced a little lass
Who was twelve years my elder
At the age of six I held her
That year I also bed her
So before I was seven
My first child was born

I told a pack of filthy lies
As a politician
I heard my own confession
As an act of contrition
I spent ten years as a Trappist monk
In a village in Tibet
And I walked up Everest naked
Just to win a bet

Well I cut off my leg
To win a one legged race
And when I won, I stitched it
right back into place
I've fought Mohammed Ali
I've seduced Mata Hari
I've even worn a sari
When I impersonated Ghandi
And I dare any man here
To call me a liar
(Liar!)

But I swear I've seen Ezekial
I swear I've seen Isiah
Toasting marshmellows
In Beelzebub's fire
And we're mad mad mad
Dangerous to know
We never give a tinkers cuss
About the seeds we sow
And we stay up late
And never be forlorn
And when the morning comes around
We'll kiss the crack of dawn

We took the whacks from Kerouac's
And dusty Dostoyevsky's
And when all was said and done
Booze was all I had left me
For all the worlds great thinkers
Are all a looooaaaaaooooaaad of pus

And if you ask us how
Zarathustra spoke
He spake thus,
Drink drink drink
Drink until you're drunk
Drink until you can't stand up
'til you're roly-poly stunk
'til your bladder bursts
'til you throw a fit to curse
'til they lift you up still comatose
And slamdance in the hearse

We're good, good, bad, bad
Ugly as sin
We mix up cough syrup
With our gin
So take your medicine
I pray that when I die
There's someone else around
To kiss my arse goodbye
Yes, I pray, I pray, I
pray that when I die
There's someone else
around to kiss my arse
goodbye
 

dr.matt

Likes Dirt
There's only one war to end all war
It's the loathing behind the eyes
And when the eyes stay out of focus
Fizxed on a point that spurns compassion
And goads for challenge
Thatcher, Reagan, Bush - that's one three-headed beast
It's the loathing behind the eyes
And when those eyes conceal the zealot
Winter than white, but the robots buy it
They clap and cheer
Kudos to bask in the belly of the beast
Procreation of the wicked
Gifted remits to exceed
Initation of the witless
Serve indignant dignitaries
Trample, smoke out, pull all foreign weeds
Don't cap oil stacks, guard the globe for keeps
Only one war!
Cosy with the clan, treat withdrawal as attack
Old boy network, new world prison camp
Only one war!
Not my president
Nor his fellow sham - the charlatan
Media mouthpiece screams "dignity"
Glaring irony - this is news to me


----------------------------------------------


You tried to spit in the eye
Of a dead man’s face
Attacked the ways of a man
Not yet in his grave
But your hate was over all too soon
Because nothing is over,
Nothing’s through,
Till we bury you

For the love of brother
I will sing this fucking song
Aesthetics of hate,
I hope you burn in hell

The words I read on the screen
Left me fucking sick
I felt the hatred rising
You son of a bitch
You branded us pathetic for our respect
But he made us driven,
Such deep reverence,
Far beyond the rest

For the love of brother
I will sing these fucking words
Aesthetics of hate,
I hope you burn in hell


Long live memories
Live this freedom vicariously
Defend tenfold
His honor we’ll always uphold

For the love of brother
I will say these fucking words
No silence against ignorance
Iconoclast, I hope you burn, burn in hell

May the hand of God strike them down
May the hand of God strike them down
May the hand of God strike them down
May the hand of God strike them down
Strike them down...



May the hand of God strike them down
May the hand of God strike them down
May the hand of God strike them down
May the hand of God strike them down (down, down...)
 

TheBofh

Likes Dirt
Punk's not dead
It just deserves to die
When it becomes another stale cartoon
A close-minded, self-centered social club
Ideas don't matter, it's who you know
If the music's gotten boring
It's because of the people
Who want everyone to sound the same
Who drive bright people out
Of our so-called scene
'Til all that's left Is just a meaningless fad
Hardcore formulas are dogshit
Change and caring are what's real
Is this a state of mind
Or just another label
The joy and hope of an alternative
Have become its own cliche
A hairstyle's not a lifestyle
Imagine Sid Vicious at 35
Who needs a scene
Scared to love and to feel
Judging everythng
By loud fast rules appeal
Who played last night?
"I don't know, I forgot.
But diving off the stage Was a lot of fun."

So eager to please
Peer pressure decrees
So eager to please
Peer pressure decrees

Make the same old mistakes
Again and again,
Chickenshit conformist
Like your parents

What's ripped us apart even more than drugs
Are the thieves and the goddamn liars
Ripping people off when they share their stuff
When someone falls are there any friends?
Harder core than thou for a year or two
Then it's time to get a real job
Others stay home, it's no fun to go out
When the gigs are wrecked by gangs and thugs
When the thugs form bands, look who gets record deals
From New York metal labels looking to scam
Who sign the most racist queerbashing bands they can find
To make a buck revving kids up for war
Walk tall, act small
Only as tough as gang approval
Unity is bullshit
When it's under someone's fat boot
Where's the common cause
Too many factions
Safely sulk in their shells
Agree with us on everything
Or we won't help with anythng
That kind of attitude
Just makes a split grow wider
Guess who's laughing while the world explodes
When we're all crybabies
Who fight best among ourselves

That farty old rock and roll attitude's back
"It's competition, man, we wanna break big."
Who needs friends when the money's good
That's right, the '70s are back.
Cock-rock metal's like a bad laxative
It just don't move me, ya know?
The music's OK when there's more ideas than solos
Do we rally need the attitude too?
Shedding thin skin too quickly
As a fan it disappoints me
Same old stupid sexist lyrics
Or is Satan all you can think of?
Crossover is just another word
For lack of ideas
Maybe what we need
Are more trolls under the bridge
Will the metalheads finally learn something-
Or will the punks throw away their education?
No one's ever the best
Once they believe their own press
"Maturing" don't mean rehashing
Mistakes of the past

The more things change
The more they stay the same
We can't grow
When we won't criticize ourselves
The '60s weren't all failure
It's the '70s that stunk
As the clock ticks we dig the same hole
Music scenes ain't real life
They won't get rid of the bomb
Won't eliminate rape
Or bring down the banks
Any kind of real change
Takes more time and work
Than changing channels on a TV set
 

mrthundacleez

Likes Dirt
He's got fasting black lungs
Made of clove splintered shardes
They're the kind that will talk
Through a wheezing of coughs

And I hear him every night
In every pore
And every time he just makes me warm

Freeze without an answer
Free from all the shame
Must I hide?
Cause I'll never
Never sleep alone

Look at how they flock to him
From an isle of open sores
He knows that the taste is such
Such to die for

And I hear him every night
On every street
The scales that do slither
Deliver me from…

Freeze without an answer
Free from all the shame
Then I'll hide
Cause I'll never
Never sleep alone

Oh lord
Said I'm bloodshot for sure
Pale runs the ghost
Swollen on the shore

Every night
in every pore
The scales that do slither
Deliver me from…

Freeze without an answer
Free from all the shame
Then I'll hide
Cause I'll never
Never sleep alone

Freeze without an answer
Free from all the shame
Let me die
Cause I'll never
Never sleep alone
 

J@se

Breezeway Bandit
How’s that hardcore fanzine? Still take the piss?
Y and T got records, demos on cassette.
Summer of the seven inch. Too cool for school.
Manifestos at Kinko’s, pinko commies play no fools.
I feel the spirit moving over me.
There are clouds beneath my feet.
When vegans attack on ten speed bikes.
Tattoos with meaning, American Spirit Lights.
It’s hard to smoke ‘em when you got to be runnin’
Congressional and D.C.P.D.
Lafayette Park undercovers,
The saddest sight you ever see, ever see.
Tear gas electric! You know I can’t quit this riot.
Strictly professional insurrectionist kid, and I can’t deny it.
I feel the spirit moving over me.
There are clouds beneath my feet.
When vegans attack on ten speed bikes.
Tattoos with meaning, American Spirit Lights .
Freshmen in fatigues. You know he’s fighting for his right.
Copious note taker. American Spirit Lights.
I feel the spirit moving over me.
I feel the spirit moving over me.
There are clouds beneath my feet.
When vegans attack on ten speed bikes.
Tattoos with meaning, American Spirit Lights .
Freshmen in fatigues. You know he’s fighting for his right.
Copious note taker. American Spirit Lights.
 

RCOH

Eats Squid
Bow your head and fold your hands
Master celebrator
No one gets a second chance
Master master
Raise your voice and start to speak
Master celebrator
Climb the mountain to it's peak
Master celebrator

But I don't know, I don't know
Who knows
No one no one seems to do any better
When they cross the border
No one no one seems to do any better
When they cross the border line
Well I'm fine

Raise your head and say the word
Master celebrator
Find a way to fool the herd
Master master
Fill their heads with empty phrases
Master celebrator
Look into their hollow faces
Master celebrator

Looking back through the years
What history tells
 

J@se

Breezeway Bandit
Can we begin at the end to save some time?
Dead center Point blank Together
The clock is ticking
You have no authority here
Float like a dead man down the river
And there are no streets in this city
Et cetera is my worst enemy
It's low and I know it all will go
To the big hand of the god damned
You're here
Red dot
And now you know where not to go
The middle ground is absolute zero
What can be found at absolute zero
Can we begin at the end to save some time?
Et cetera is my worst enemy
It's low and I know it all will go
To the big hand of the god damned
The big hand of the bald man
The middle ground is absolute zero
What can be found at absolute zero
A happy end is absolute zero
Nobody wins an absolute zero
Worse than nothing
Nothing...
 

mrthundacleez

Likes Dirt
Someone told me once that there's a right and wrong, and that punishment would come to those who dare to cross the line. But it must not be true for jerk-offs like you. Maybe it takes longer to catch a total asshole. But I'm tired of waiting. Maybe it's just bullshit and I should play GOD, and shoot you myself. Because I'm tired of waiting. Consequences dictate our course of action and it doesn't matter what's right. It's only wrong if you get caught. If consequences dictate my course of action I should play GOD and shoot you myself. I'm very tired of waiting. I should kick you,beat you, fuck you, and then shoot you in your fucking head
 
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