Jehovah's witnesses at my door and the evolution of boobies

[Plankosaurus]

I don't mind them, especially the last pair, they were deadset hotties! I was almost tempted to feign interest just to keep them around for a little, but sanity prevailed and I figured it still wasn't worth it. Got a shiny pamphlet and a couple of uneasy smiles out of them for all the effort of opening the door.

Gotta give them points for perseverance, my house is one of only 5 on a crappy dirt road that's hard to find, I'm right up the end, there's a 50m steep climb up my driveway, and the whole time my staff x bulldog is barking and carrying on like he wants to rip off your head and make love to your neck. Most people that can be bothered with all that deserve at least an amiable G'day I figure.

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[floody]

Our door is behind a gate, and two German Shepherds at the 'too big for breed standards' end of their growth range. Funnily enough they skip our place.

 

[hazza6542]

I had this problem years ago, we have a kingdom hall a couppla ks down the road. We'd get the knock at least once a week and telling to never come back, would not work. I answered the door to them in nothing but a towel once, when I seen who it was the towel, somehow, came loose and dropped to the floor. Haven't seen them since.

This exact method worked for us the morning after a night too big to hear about what they had to say

 

[nathanm]

No anger issues here and I am generally very tolerant of peoples beliefs and practices, as long as they are NOT pushing them onto me outside my front door. That's right about when patience and tolerance is at zero.

I have several Do No knock Stickers, whilst religous orgonisations appear to be exempt as they aren't selling a tangible product, I expect them to have enough respect for myself and others how clearly display these stickers not to bother us.

They did not identify themselves or their purpose for annoying me, when I worked out what they were on about I told them I was not interested - neither politely or rude, my son is screaming in the room behind me, he HATES daytime naps and fights it everyday. They then kept trying to keep the conversation going, that when the abuse and stabbing threats started.

I hope they took the threat of violence seriously, while stabbing wasn't going to happen, getting knocked down my front steps would. A also admit I have a fondness for kids selling chocolates, don't mind when they knock.

I think every parent can identify with you here. There is few things worse than having your kids naps interrupted. Like cold callers etc, if they don't have the respect to walk away at a no then they deserve threats of being stabbed.

 

[Doggy]

They recently updated their website, which is why they are doin the JW thing now instead of jehovahs wankers title and im guessing the reason for their recent wanderings. I have over the years done several methods of ridding them from my lands and by lands I mean front driveway. Method 1 is to engage them in a long winded discussion on religious beliefs too the point where they plead to leave. I find religion fascinating and read a lot about it through history even though I believe that it is a horrible litttle thing. Method 2 is answering the door in my jocks and holding empty booze cans, did this to a family one day....they didnt even speak. Method 3 works well for mormons, who amongst other beliefs thought that non whites were sub human and not worth talking to. Their religion divides off into various sub groups of differing levels of nuttiness so its fun to watch them squirm when I ask them if their beliefs on other races are still true. Method 4 is the most blunt and simplest, when they start talking I tell them I find all religions poisonous and that they should be removed like polio and finally method 5 is too start preaching to them about the gospel of the flying spaghetti monster and his noodly love.

 

[Skydome]

My Mum is a JW so I was brought up with her strict rules but she divorced Dad when I was 13 & that's when I told her I hate all religion...especially hers. Iv had nothing to do with her for over 25 years & its all because of her fucking religion.

PS If you really want to scare the Bjesus out of em just answer the door with a really satanic Slayer t shirt & ask them if they'd like to join in with your regular blood orgies haha

Bah, that's too mainstream.

Answer the door with at least 3-4 scary looking satanic looking necklaces on, while wearing a robe complete with hood, kind of like what the grim reaper wears, while playing gregorian chant music but make sure to pick some of the satanic ritual chanting stuff, not the Roman Catholic stuff, answer the door wearing an equally creepy mask or something, bonus points for having the satanic bible or some form of satanic literature in your hand in plain view, and if you have the time, and can predict when they are likely to come, get your friends in on the act -3-4 friends, and have them all stand in sort of a half circle at the door and just stair at them and say nothing.

Guarantee they won't come back after that.

 

[C0na]

I had a funny experience with one of the Jehovies recently. I am a massive metal head and a have a lot of band tee's that I wear around the house, as some of them, well, are a little inappropriate to be worn in public. I was wearing my old meshuggah obzen shirt when I one of Jehovah's witnesses fella's knocked on my door, the conversation went something like this:
"Good evening sir we areeeeeeeeee...oh my....ummm... have a good evening sir... sorry to bother you.."

This was the shirt I was wearing at the time.....

 

[indica]

This was the shirt I was wearing at the time.....

You win...............

 

[will2]

I have found myself peeking if someone knocks. I see who it is and get down to my undies accordingly. It works a charm, especially to those religious men thinking they will get sent to hell for looking at another semi-naked man.

 

[static_X3]

I work with 5 of them.

Get over it you have it good!

 

[Haakon]

My Mum's approach to these sorts was to invite them in for a cuppa and a bickie and ask them lots of pointed questions about the bible. She studies religions as a hobby (each to their own, I find all religions to be a waste of space personally...), and knew the bible a hell (boom boom tish...) of a lot better than they did. Poor guys, they always looked so very uncomfortable when the assorted contradictions were pointed out - they stopped coming back after a while.

Funniest one though was a metal head housemate I had in St Kilda many many years ago had gotten very very drunk one night and for a laugh had scratched an upside down crucifix into his forehead (you had to be there...). Anyway, he blearlily answered the door the next morning very very hungover in just jeans - the poor JWs saw all his tatts, the undercut hairdo (it was the 90s) and the crucifix. They never came back either... He wandered back into the kitchen in search of coffee wondering what he had said!

 

[MasterOfReality]

The JW are becoming more problematic in my area too.

I live semi rural, western Brisbane. Think where the house in Pullenvale was searched for bombs, and Baden Clay found under the bridge, that's the general area.

In the 7 years I have been here I got accosted once, when I was trimming the hedge out the front. Two elderly ladies but they weren't JW, some other church group. But generally we never got bothered as its simply too far out of their way to make an effort but lately on weekends, when I head off to the shops in the morning, I have seen them gathering in large groups discussing their strategy.

I think they bring the kids/prams as a self defense mechanism.

 

[Cypher]

... I lost my temper told them to fuck off or get stabbed, along with a little more abuse about being female, stupid, brain washed...

The "about being female" part is very offensive and an exceedingly lazy attempt at being offensive. Are you harbouring some inner misogyny MWI? Masculinity is not defined by the abscence of femininity. There is nothing wrong with being female. It is this sort of attitude that makes it rather hard for a girl to get along.

My tip for dealing with door knockers is to not open the door in the first place - for anyone. I even make my partner identify himself through the door if it is night time. I yell through the door to find out what they want (it is hard to keep a conversation going through a closed door). If they are soliciting then I ask them to leave my property as they are now tresspassing. Works every time. If they are the sort of person who wont leave, then having a locked door would give me enough time to call the police

 

[Nautonier]

also admit I have a fondness for kids selling chocolates, don't mind when they knock.

Let's hope this is because you like chocolate...

 

[Ackland]

Let's hope this is because you like chocolate...

Best comment of the thread

 

[steve24]

I think everyone has the right to their own beliefs. Theirs is that they should go around to help others get to heaven....Seems to me their heart is in the right place even if their brain is not.

While I disagree with their beliefs when I had some ladies call a few days ago and hand me some reading material I politely gave it back telling them I would not read it. They thanked me and went on their way.

To the original post I fully understand getting upset about half settled kids getting woken up but really why is there a need for pages of anti JWs when as sects/ religions go they must be some of the friendliest and most harmless.

Perhaps I missed the thread about the Aussie kid holding up that severed human head.......

 

[scblack]

I think everyone has the right to their own beliefs. Theirs is that they should go around to help others get to heaven....Seems to me their heart is in the right place even if their brain is not.

Oh, certainly they have the right to their beliefs. Many of us also believe that if they want to go around ramming that belief down our throats, then they deserve all the abuse they get.

Perhaps I missed the thread about the Aussie kid holding up that severed human head.......

That is completely irrelevant to this thread, has been dealt with elsewhere and makes you look like a shrill idiot who does not understand one iota why people are annoyed by god-botherers continually banging on our front doors.

 

[Beej1]

Luckily my 7mnth old sleeps pretty well during the day - or at least the weekday I stay home with her. But there's been many an unsettled night where I would be pretty bloody angry at anyone for disturbing us at the wrong time.

The OP's story (and pretty much most folks reaction here to religious door knockers) reminds me of a time when I was a kid. A friend lived in a strange house which many years later I found out was some slightly bizarre fundamentalist religious group and there were 2 or 3 dads and 6 mums and my friend had 5 brothers & sisters and it was all a bit horrible in the end. But the thing I remember better than anything about all this was that after my friend had been sick for a while and had been crying lots at school one day, I could tell something was wrong. I asked mum & dad if we could go to his house because I was worried he wasn't OK, and I wanted to see if we could make him feel better. After arriving at his front door one of the dads got quite angry, verbally abusing us for interfering where we weren't wanted and was particularly scary to the point mum was crying and we left pretty quick.

People arriving at the door of someone's house, trying to help, and getting abused (or angrily refused/indecently assaulted etc).

I'm no fan of religion ... any of them really. But these JW's - at least, the plebs they send round to door knock - I reckon they honestly believe they're there to help us. Just like I wanted to as a kid. So from that point of view I'd probably tell them "No. Thanks for the thought, feel free to send any prayers our way, but we'll be just fine without your help. Please don't come back." Or just the first and last sentences if you're the less-verbose type. Better than yelling or exposing your junk at otherwise harmless folk.

 

[tubby74]

to the original post I fully understand getting upset about half settled kids getting woken up but really why is there a need for pages of anti JWs when as sects/ religions go they must be some of the friendliest and most harmless.

I get them every now and then and never had a problem. they're always polite and say farewell nicely when I tell them I'm not interested. Much rather these guys than people trying to sell me new electricity contracts, they often get abusive when you say you don't care.

 

[Calvin27]

Problem is when they get pushy and try their, 'I'll keep the conversation open in case you want to be converted' tricks or worse yet, if they return.