Moral dilemma

EastsideZero

Likes Dirt
To supplement my income from my day job at a factory, six months ago i had to take a second job as a Cleaner in a Government Research Facility.
During one of my lonely late night shifts,while poking around in one of the labs i stumbled across some interesting stuff on one of the computers (the nerds should remember to log out when they finish for the day!). The files detailed the cloning experiments that had been taking in this lab and went on to show the results of these experiments.
So i took it upon myself to copy these experiments using a DNA sample far superior to the Porcine subjects these wanna-be messiahs had been using.
Yes,i cloned myself !!
I thought to myself if one Mat (thats me) is "Excellent" then two Mats would be "Brilliant".
So one Cell Sample later, the fun begins (or so i thought).Through the wonders of modern science, automated DNA replacement in a donor egg,rapid incubation and rapid maturation in a spare tank that i moved out of storage and into an unused lab in the building (damn those nerds made good notes, pretty much step by step instructions). There i sat and watched as i grew.Through the use of the neural data transfer helmet my clone was imparted with all of my life experiences and memories.As Mat II's body recieved electrical impulses to stimulate his muscle growth and was fed a high protien nutrient slush through his umbillical connection i watched in awe as he twitched and writhed, the moment of his awakening drawing ever nearer!
The day had arrived,after three months of waiting he was ready.
Then it happened , i fell in love! I/me/he was beautiful a god incarnate!how could i resist,nobody understood me better,knew my innermost thoughts and fears,i/we were one (besides all that i'm damn hot!!!). We consumated our love that night by the glow of the cloning tank.
Here is the question, i am sleeping with my clone , is it masturbation,incest or homosexuality?
Please help me i am confused!!!
 

Joel O

Likes Bikes and Dirt
best thread ever, anybody who says otherwise is too old for the internet!

Edit: would you mind if i stole this for another forum?
 
Step 1. Obtain a booklet of request forms
Step 2. Forge requests for 2-4 pounds of high grade marijuana from the stores rooms
Step 3. Sell weed to save your friend Kenny's sweet virgin ass
 

ajay

^Once punched Jeff Kennett. Don't pick an e-fight
Are you on drugs?
no, he's making love to himself....

Jeez, I thought that much was obvious:p


BTW - so long as its mutually consented, then i see no dilemma!
 
Last edited:

J-ack

Banned
Back to the subject at hand: IMO, you are NOT masturbating, as you are not fellating yourself, but another, sentient being that, while you would both be as similar as identical twins, you would have separate thoughts and feelings.
 

cE

Likes Dirt
At least when people tell you to "go and F*&%K yourself" you can actually go and do it.
 

Tristan23

Farkin guerilla
I'd say it's the latter 2. Masturbation is defined as "Stimulating one's own genitals for sexual pleasure" Emphasis on the word 'own'. Although you are the same person, he is another entity within himself, so doesn't really classify. Incest, i'd have to agree with to a point. Incest is defined as "Sexual relations between people classed as too close to be married". I'd say you are, seeing as you've come from yourself, just like a son, daughter, or gerbil. And finally, the one i agree with most definitly. Homosexual. Defined as "Sexually attracted to people of one's own sex". Seeing as he's come from you, and he is a clone, he's the same sex. So it goes without saying that what you're doing is without doubt homosexual. Done.
 
whatever you're on that you got from the government facility, i'll buy the formula for $185 bazillion, and supply you with your own private stripper factory.

i could make a killing off this shit...
 
Last edited:

kjf

Likes Bikes and Dirt
LOL, caused a few laughs
I'll buy it for 17bazillionshabodool-ilion
BEAT THAT
 

Pete J

loves his dog
Self-love is always good in my opinion!
Now you can also start dating twins and mix'n'match whenever you feel like it, how sweet would that be!! :cool:
 
Top