Power Balance...WTF...??

2be

2be

Likes Bikes
Ok so first let me start by saying I'm a proud sceptic and a realist. I just don't get the power balance bracelet thing :confused: I first noticed these things on the overweight kid that works on the check out at Coles on a Saturday morning... OK... predictable...Next time I see one it's on the wrist of one of our junior employees who assures me it helps him stay balance when playing footy...OK,again not surprised.
Now the show bag I got at registration for Southern Exposure contained amongst other things a flyer for these things, the flyer didn't actually say what they could do for me, just some endorsements from some American sports types I had never heard of saying how good they where ?? OK....so 12 hours later at the presentation Power balance appear as a sponsor (Great effort and I think I speak for every one when I say a big thanks for your support and sponsorship of the event) ....so now they appear to be a legit MTB product :confused:

So am I right in assuming that if i wear one of these bracelets with a hologram in it i will feel more balanced on my bike :confused:? Not since the late Peter Brock started putting crystals under the bonnet of the VK HDT Commodore to soak up the negative energy on the car have I heard such a ... mmm...."claim"....

So what do you think?
 
andrew_o

andrew_o

Likes Bikes and Dirt
I'm also very eager to see any true benefits behind them! Personally I think they are useless, they say they improve your balance etc. but they don't even tell the time:rolleyes:
 
Nerf Herder

Nerf Herder

Wheel size expert
Disbelievers

If the causal observer looks closely, you will see that when used by an "Athlete" the PBB (Power Balance Bracelet) does not move ... this is because once the "Athlete" commences exerting "True Athletic Power" The wrist region emits a powerful Qi which the Ancient Chinese philosopher Updee Wang first discovered is 5,000 BC.

Look even closer and you will see that tiny "Power Tendrils"(TM) & (c) can be seen to be penetrating the epidermis of the "True Athlete" at which point the casual observer will notice a "Synchronisation" between the bracelet's enhanced balancing Qi and that of the "Athlete's". This can be denoted by a split second "Eppispasm" (TM) & (c) Patent Pending in Zimbabwe, and Turkmenistan.

Only a "true athletic" experience will trigger "Athletic Power" and the commencement of the PBB and "Athlete's" Qi Syncronisation.

If a user is not experiencing this Qi Balance transfer as described in Master Updee Wang's manuscript , then the user obviously is not trying hard enough or more likely is not a "True Athlete" and should just give up and go home.

The good news is that you can use multiple PBB as depicted in the Movie "300" where King Darius III was an obvious PBB user. Multiple PBB used by the original purchaser will enhance the Qi emissions and convert the original purchaser "only" to a "True Athlete". Please ensure sufficient PBB coverage should results not commence immediately. PB Head bands, Neck rings and Levis 501 belts can now be purchased online or through quality stores only.

Note: writing Shizz on your arms and legs like Eric Grothe Jr or that Atherton Chick doesn't work ... pffft crazy mo phos

Disclaimer: the author may or may not be sponsored by the makers of the PBB, and may even now be in secret testing of the new Prince Albert PB Ring.
 
Adrian

Adrian

Junkie (not the adrenalin type either)
Nerf Herder said:
Disclaimer: the author may or may not be sponsored by the makers of the PBB, and may even now be in secret testing of the new Prince Albert PB Ring.
Click to expand...
I've been told this keeps you standing stronger and taller than any blue pill can. Keen to read about the test outcomes on your photoblog...
 
Dozer

Dozer

Heavy machinery.
Staff member
I had hoped some of the dudes wearing them would try them around their throat............:p Until I am shown otherwise I will say they are a load of shit that only attempts to change your mind state to believe you actually have better balance.
I have a friend who mows your lawn for a living and he swears by them. He got so used to wearing it that he didn't realise that it had fallen off or broken or f#@ked out somewhere along the line. He rolled his sleeve up to show me his whizz bang bracelet and established that the tan line he has had since the start of October proved he hasn't been wearing one but he thought he was wearing one.
He now wears a hat with a propellor on it.
 
R

Ryan

Radministrator
It's like an ID card for idiots, only they even go the trouble of wearing it on their wrist in plain view so you don't even have to ask to see it.
 
W

Wes/TRUCK

Likes Dirt
I have had a power balance thing for over 2 yrs.I have had a few major accidents and now suffer problems with my legs.I find if I wear it seems to help with my balance in my boat and I have not been seasick while wearing it.Mine is the wide neo[wet suit] type.It was a gift but I am still not sure if its just a mind thing.
 
jrewing

jrewing

Eats Squid
Has anyone even dared to wear 2,3,4,7,13 fuckin put em all over their body. i reckon you could walk through walls even better bank vaults...bullets would just deflect off from the natural coconut juices!?!?
 
J

jrh

Likes Bikes
I received a Power Balance band as a gift a coulpe of months ago. I've been wearing it on my left wrist and now feel I should get another to wear on my right to balance me up.....or should I spend less time with Mr Peroni.
 
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A

ademb

Likes Dirt
Wes/TRUCK said:
I have had a power balance thing for over 2 yrs.I have had a few major accidents and now suffer problems with my legs.I find if I wear it seems to help with my balance in my boat and I have not been seasick while wearing it.Mine is the wide neo[wet suit] type.It was a gift but I am still not sure if its just a mind thing.
Click to expand...
You know years ago people used to say an elastic band on your wrist would help stave off motion sickness? lol personally i think these "power bands" are a crock of shit
 
willsy01

willsy01

Eats Squid
thecat said:
Pineflux is where it's at
Click to expand...
Pineflux? Sounds like a toilet cleaner.

As for these power balance bands:

pla·ce·bo (pl
-s
b
)n. pl. pla·ce·bos or pla·ce·boes

1.a. A substance containing no medication and prescribed or given to reinforce a patient's expectation to get well.b. An inactive substance or preparation used as a control in an experiment or test to determine the effectiveness of a medicinal drug.

2. Something of no intrinsic remedial value that is used to appease or reassure another.

The test they do on people to show they work is hilarious.
 
martinpb

martinpb

Likes Dirt
the appropriate answer to any testable claim that you think is illegit

with thanks to Tim Minchin for saying it so eliquantly:

"You show me that it works and how it works
And when I’ve recovered from the shock
I will take a compass and carve 'Fancy That' on the side of my cock"

I do love the article in The Age about PB bands today. It carefully explains that they are about to undergo scientific testing - by a buch of chiropractors. A group of people who practice a technique i think is well described as "supported by not a jot of evidence" and therefore nothing but "bogus treatments".

And after checking out the Pineflux, i'm sure that it would have a greater possitive effect on my riding - if only so the time until i can stop using it is shorter!
 
indica

indica

Serial flasher
Absolutely without a doubt amazing, like those fucking pills that make your petrol burn better, or those penis enlargement ads we all get in our spam boxes.

Honestly, well done to the people who made them, what a great idea, up there with Christianity as a money making scheme.
 
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