Project Car / Motorbike thread. Let's see 'em.

link1896

Wheel size expert
The fun of old bmw electronics and software. Argh.

Long crank, runs for a second and stalls. Zero codes. She’s parked on the street, 200mm out from the vertical of the concrete gutter. Going to be a fucking blast getting under to replace the fuel filter/regulator that’s under the passengers feet. I might have jacked her up at 10pm, gotten the half acre of plastic splash guards off to find nothing on the RHS.

 

Haakon

has moral fibre, who'd have thunk that?
Old “modern” cars in general... 15-20 years ago is about when they all really got keen on electronics and plastic and things that make production lines cheap and efficient, but make the poor sod who is fixing it 15-20 years later want to cry...
 

link1896

Wheel size expert
Old “modern” cars in general... 15-20 years ago is about when they all really got keen on electronics and plastic and things that make production lines cheap and efficient, but make the poor sod who is fixing it 15-20 years later want to cry...
Yep, 10 yo bmw, if you can’t fix yourself you’re screwed



The only saving grace, someone hacked the bmw dealer software a decade ago. It was written to connect to the factory before connecting to the chassis for licensing. Someone modified the software (probably a legit user fed up with a long wait for the Authentication process to succeed) . So all bmw DIYers have dealer level software.

I knew the e65 was a minefield. It’s why a car that sold for $260k new in 2006, is worth 20k now.


The fuel pump is driven by the satellite sensor b pillar right side. The primary function of the sbsr is air bag control. It’s vin coded to the chassis. The sbsr takes a control signal from the DME (ecu) and adjusts the speed of the fuel pump with pwm.

Very tempted to cut the wires to the pump and run off a battery to see if it can prime the system. Should add a secondary security system that cuts the fuel pump anyway.
 

Haakon

has moral fibre, who'd have thunk that?
Yep, 10 yo bmw, if you can’t fix yourself you’re screwed



The only saving grace, someone hacked the bmw dealer software a decade ago. It was written to connect to the factory before connecting to the chassis for licensing. Someone modified the software (probably a legit user fed up with a long wait for the Authentication process to succeed) . So all bmw DIYers have dealer level software.

I knew the e65 was a minefield. It’s why a car that sold for $260k new in 2006, is worth 20k now.


The fuel pump is driven by the satellite sensor b pillar right side. The primary function of the sbsr is air bag control. It’s vin coded to the chassis. The sbsr takes a control signal from the DME (ecu) and adjusts the speed of the fuel pump with pwm.

Very tempted to cut the wires to the pump and run off a battery to see if it can prime the system. Should add a secondary security system that cuts the fuel pump anyway.
I have the same hacked software for the Renault - a Chinese made clone OBD interface and the “genuine “ Renault software suite running on an old XP lappy. No way I’d have been able to do my current project without it! Eg I used the ABS pump from the auto car in this one that’s a manual, and it threw a code because the ABS pump was looking for data over canbus from the auto ecu... I was able to reprogram the ABS pump and tell it that it was now in a manual car and to stfu. The abs pump is easy to replace with the engine out, otherwise it’s a nightmare as it’s buried on the firewall - half the top of the engine has to come off to get at it, AC degassed and low pressure pipe removed... not fun. Fine on the assembly line though I’m sure.
 
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Haakon

has moral fibre, who'd have thunk that?
Yep, 10 yo bmw, if you can’t fix yourself you’re screwed



The only saving grace, someone hacked the bmw dealer software a decade ago. It was written to connect to the factory before connecting to the chassis for licensing. Someone modified the software (probably a legit user fed up with a long wait for the Authentication process to succeed) . So all bmw DIYers have dealer level software.

I knew the e65 was a minefield. It’s why a car that sold for $260k new in 2006, is worth 20k now.


The fuel pump is driven by the satellite sensor b pillar right side. The primary function of the sbsr is air bag control. It’s vin coded to the chassis. The sbsr takes a control signal from the DME (ecu) and adjusts the speed of the fuel pump with pwm.

Very tempted to cut the wires to the pump and run off a battery to see if it can prime the system. Should add a secondary security system that cuts the fuel pump anyway.
Also, respect for taking on a bangle ;) I assumed you’ve watched all the hoovie vids on it...

I quite like them.
 

link1896

Wheel size expert
They have aged well. I have ask non car people to date it, they normally put it at 3-5 years old. Helps with 5 layers of ceramic coating.

I look at the new bmw offerings and think “Christ, if someone driving a bangle butt can’t find the appeal, you really are in trouble”
 

Asininedrivel

Likes bikes and dirt and has no idea why
Bangle cars haven't aged a bit* - they're very wheel dependant though. Anything less than 19s on that era 5 Series doesn't work imo.

*apart from the E90 3 Series sedan that was the most conservatively designed.

I assumed you’ve watched all the hoovie vids on it...
I like a good Hoovie binge from time to time, although that one on his CL65 being a mechanical write off due to being so poorly engineered was sobering.
 

rextheute

Likes Dirt
The fun of old bmw electronics and software. Argh.

Long crank, runs for a second and stalls. Zero codes. She’s parked on the street, 200mm out from the vertical of the concrete gutter. Going to be a fucking blast getting under to replace the fuel filter/regulator that’s under the passengers feet. I might have jacked her up at 10pm, gotten the half acre of plastic splash guards off to find nothing on the RHS.

just saying ..... buy a fuel pump
my offsiders one was doing the same and then expired ..on the Calder ... at night .
BMw - $980.00 - Goss $200 ish - Fuel filter is a something cant remember - i have the old parts in garage....( like Haakon i have can't throw out tendencies)
All good now tho - and its a bugger of a job - takes longer to get to filter than change it
 
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