Spanky in Japan III, this time with a bike

Spanky_Ham

Spanky_Ham

Porcinus Slappius
touristic pig

OK.. update with pictures...

Riding Dinosaurs.... f*cking cool


Sakura. the japanese f*cking love sakura, and go out of their way to take a billion pictures, as well as drinking and eating under them. This was the pigs view for an afternoon as he sucked back beer after beer... later in the afternoon the focus was a little worse


matsumoto castle (matsumoto jo)



then they turned the lights on... allowed pig to drink in the dark


This is the local Love Hotel.... it stands out like dogs balls, and seems to always have cars and pushbikes in the car park. The pig really wants to go inside and see all the "themed rooms"... will try to do it within the week


The pig got in a car and was taken to an Onsen up in the nagano mountains..

now, the Japanese onsen is very interesting, and could never happen in a "christian society" as there are rooms full of men all dangling their dingle dangles around... nakedness abounds - they wont let the pig in the ladies section, so its probably full of glazed donuts and chiko stands - the pig can dream can't he.

the Onsen we went too was a "mixed" onsen (shirahone Onsen) where outside women and men can... well, mingle all naked! The water is white (the pig just blended his fat white body into the water - saving the locals eyes) and the ladies were all floating around with little towels kind of covering their bits. It was fantastic, snow on the side, hot water flowing from wooden pipes... and inside there were hotter pools to sit in and be fat in... was a great day.



Note: the onsen at this point was closed, so taking pictures from the road was OK... DON'T TAKE PICTURES IN ONSENS



We stopped at Viking family entertainment restaurant (an all you can eat kind of place... and it had TWO kinds of glazed donuts - and yes, all you can eat in 90 minutes for a fixed price... got our moneys worth) Unfortunately we ran out of time to use the Fair Floss machine that was there... but next time...




f*ck yeah...


meat sock on a slippery slide
http://www.youtube.com/watch?edit=vd&v=fBkSX8nyKhk

more soon, we're off to post some packages and to go and check the squirrel in Cainz home...

S
 
Spanky_Ham

Spanky_Ham

Porcinus Slappius
Piss games

Went to the local Sega game centre to waste some time... and, in the toilet is a "free game". The aim of the game is to piss on a spot for as long as you can! As you piss on the target, the "wind" blows the weather womans dress up....

LOLZ x 1000000







the pig is thinking of a massive coffee drinking session, holding his piss in for as long as possible and trying again... this time we'll take a video... of the screen, not of the pig pissing...

your a sick f*ck for even concidering that thought, you sick f*ck

S
 
Spanky_Ham

Spanky_Ham

Porcinus Slappius
A change of plans...

So, here's an offer...


[video=youtube;LTYNtwXimiU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTYNtwXimiU&feature=youtu.be[/video]
 
Dales Cannon

Dales Cannon

lightbrain about 4pm
Staff member
Just googled Matsumoto not to take you up on your offer though an Asahi or 6 would be shared but you are a fair distance from my usual places of visit. During the google I thought I saw the "Kuso River". But alas it was Kiso. Enjoy Japan. By the way it is always good to translate common English phrases so that your students can get a feel for the culture over here. Like "Shin da kumo no ketsu ni atama wo tsukume", very useful. And no it probably won't google.
 
Spanky_Ham

Spanky_Ham

Porcinus Slappius
The pig just got his new flat in Japan, and its not as small as first expected.... so, the offer is still there, now with a room should you want to hang out with the pig for a bit...

:)


S
 
Spanky_Ham

Spanky_Ham

Porcinus Slappius
harmonix1234 said:
Grats on the unit Spanky. Loving this thread :)
Click to expand...
arigato gozaimasu.... should have some pics up of the flat soon... broke the sliding screen door already... Giggity!!!

geoff_tewierik said:
You're moving fast pig. New flat already. Excited?

Hope it's got a good trough and a place to wallow.
Click to expand...
Oh yeah, weeing pants style excited.... and the view isn't too bad. 2 minutes to train station, 7/11 across the road.... Hella yeah

HA! Just scored a free second hand flat screen TV and some furnishing... and learnt that the flat comes with free internet included!!!

Being the only white pudgy guy around means we stand out.... and it seems people here are really willing to help us settle in.

LOLZ, wait till they smell our farts....

If any of you are thinking, man, my life need a change, the pig suggests Nike management... Just do it..

S

p.s. we asked for the key to see the flat, person renting flat went.... "WHAT?" apparently unrented flats are left unlocked.... f*ck the pig senseless!!!
 
Spanky_Ham

Spanky_Ham

Porcinus Slappius
Fujimi Panorama

A quick update from the land of the rising sun, now with extra bacon

The pig bought his girlfriend - Kaori - a new mountain bike (Specialized Myka FSR) so we could go riding together... and she suggested that we go to Fujimi Panorama for a ride - since its close to where we are living. Now Kaori has only ridden her bike three times before, but the web site said there was a `beginners course`

So a quick roll down in the kei truck and we hit Fujimi Panorama! We got a ticket(3800 yen) for three lift rides and went up..

F*ck it was fun, we only did the beginners course.... it was wet and slippery, Kaori took a medium stack on her first run, and the pig had a solo run for his third . It was a beginners `downhill` course, not really suited for a 4 inch trail bike that Kaori was riding, but she did really well. The pigs final run was at spastic speed, basically out of control downhill for 10 minutes or so.

Holy shit, was a great day and will be going back again, the pig wishes he had a downhill bike to hit up the trails. Since the pig is in Nagano area, we]ll be exploring the other lift access mountains soon.... but welcomes any advice about places in Japan to ride..382527_10151250576227388_273057032_n.jpg

Until next time
 
Bermshot

Bermshot

Banned
Couldn't wait for the next post of awesome touring adventures. Now I'm stuck with girlfriend beginner lessons. What a fizzer!

Someone had to say it. :)
 
Spanky_Ham

Spanky_Ham

Porcinus Slappius
Well, sorry the pig has no pics of the Gfriends face plant, and if he did.... do you really think he`d upload them? You ever seen the front cover of Lord of the Flies? This is what the pig would look like..
lord_flies.jpg

Currently the pig is working hard at a new job and with all the training and getting set up here, has only been riding a few times... however, the next trip is being planned right now. The fat fark just found out he has two weeks of holidays coming, and mount Fuji still hasn`t been seen Oh, and there`s a fireworks festival not too far away.... apparenty pretty amazing..

there`ll be more touring soon... the pig promises


s
 
Hamsta

Hamsta

Likes Bikes and Dirt
スパンキーこんにちは、私たちは常に更新してくださいしてください。偉大な読み取りと時間で非常に面白いします。あなたは忙しいですが、あなたの投稿は偉大であることを実感する安全な旅を
 
Spanky_Ham

Spanky_Ham

Porcinus Slappius
Hakuba47

A day off and another day for the pig to go to a gondola assisted riding location, this time Hakuba47 (like it says in the freakn title knob head)

Hakuba 47 is in Hakuba (no shit shirl) and its an hour and a half drive from the pigsty. So spanky and his lovely lady took the trip...

3500 yen gets you a days lift ticket and a chance at some downhilling... well, its downhill. There is one main trial about 5km long that winds its way down from the top, which is fairly wide and basic - but with really nice berms on some corners.
pig2.jpg
There are a few little off shoot trails that get a bit more tricky, and the surface of the main trail could be called f#cking rough and rocky. Up the top are two short (about 1km) single tracks that are fairly technical and fun, but short unlike the pigs penis.

pig3.jpg

The day ended with some time spent on a bungie trampoline thing, just to get the bile rising from the pigs massive gut (they had to add more elastic bands for the pig, he`s a fat f#cker).

pig 1.jpg

Not as good as Fujimi panorama, well, in the pigs stupid opinion, but still a load of fun! Don`t order the nachos if your there, f#cking corn chips with liquid fake cheese (cant wait for the pigs gut to finish processing them!!)

Two parks down, looking for more.....

S in Japan
 
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