pink poodle
気が狂っている男
More *spoilers* than you can poke a dick at! Up front statement - I don't dislike this film for the same reasons I dislike the prequels. The prequels were moronic and stupid, all of which is perfectly represented by (but not isolated to) jarhead binks. I am not one of the many fans begging for a Batman or Logan style dark and gruesome film. I wanted a well told adventure story about space wizards with laser swords. This film was bad because it totally failed at doing what a film is supposed to do, that being tell an interesting story.
I was even liking this film at first, right up to the arrival of the alliance bombers...suddenly a strong opening became a painful and slow effort to create something suspenseful. You know what makes suspense not work? It certainly doesn't come from trying to jam a suspenseful moment in every 5 minutes.
@Dozer...are you forgetting all the force based telekinesis she does with Luke, and even a small amount with kylo? I'm pretty sure she made a reference to not being a good student in force awakens too.
You are right though! That was one of the most shitful moments in cinema that I have seen in a long long time. She looked like Mary Poppins for fuck's sake! Only going side ways and without an umbrella. With Carrie Fisher dying they really should've taken this opportunity to write out her character in a way that would have been appropriate to that character. Right up the front fighting the bad guys! What happens now? A quick mention in the opening scroll of the next film? Will she die of a broken heart? Will there be another abomination of CGI to keep her in long enough for an explosion? Will she somehow become a force ghost as well? Pffft...she should be a space iceberg. The only saving grace for this is that someone will no doubt edit in the space lock scene audio from 2001 "open the space lock Hal...". It isn't like she played any pivotal role post space walk anyway.
Fin and rose? Their whole side mission was moronic bullshit jammed in to pad the film out. It was unnecessary, didn't advance the plot or overall story, and was totally uninteresting. That I love you bull shit? Fuck off!!! I'd rather have seen him have a love scene with Admiral Ackbar!
Speaking of which...out like a pussy. Such a shame.
Not one single character in this new series is interesting. None. Not Poo, not Fin, Not Rey, Not Kylo, not Hux, and certainly not robo-balls. And Phasma? I really hope she is done. One of the worst characters they have created. That fight scene was stupid. I think they should have let Fin crash his (fuck those things were stupid) speeder into the mega-stupid-ram-battering-super-canon-doorbell. It would've been great if Hux killed Kylo and then his ship blew up! If Poo had have been sucked out of the hanger when his ship blew up. If the robot was fried after (I liked this bit) using his head as a switch board. If Rey got turned inside out by Snorkel. Kill them all! At least then you can start over. To me all the characters still feel like the 1 dimensional fodder that usually surrounds the main characters and end disappearing in a red misty explosion on some random beach. The acting is also really wooden. Maybe that is how acting is done now? Are they trying to capture that 1950s Hollywood style? Who knows.
One of the big things I disliked was the lack of use of Chewbacca. He just sits at the ship and waits? Fuck off. After all those years and the death of their buddy Han, he and Luke had nothing to talk about? Really??? Not even one night sitting around the fire eating roasted puffin-penguin and drinking fermented walrus blue juice while Rey is asleep?
I could rant for pages as there was sooooooooooo much o didn't like. Things I liked include:
- Help me obi wan kenobi. That was one of the best moments of the film.
- Luke throwing the light sabre away.
- Light speed attack! That was really cool. Shame I gave zero fuck's about the poorly scripted and wooden acted character. I would have loved if it was Poo that did it.
- Poo taking on Hux's ship solo.
- Luke vs Kylo, the whole thing. From the moment Luke appeared right through to him dying. I thought that was quite cool. I think it could have been strengthend by the film spending more time on Luke and Rey together prior to this rather than watching some cartoon about horse llama riding...at least that way it would make sense that he feels it is time for him to become one with the force and trust Rey to carry the torch.
- Snorkel dying. Good. He was a shit character. I think this should've been done differently but...good that it was done. I think it was a good call back to the way a sith apprentice would overthrow their master when the time was right to become the new sith master. I do think they should have not shown the Skywalker light sabre twitching before it happened, made it a total surprise.
- Yoda blowing up the tree.
That was about it. It was a long shit experience. I've seen all the others in cinema multiple times, even the ones that sucked really badly. I'm not sure I will bother with this one. It sucked a lot.
Why does everyone hate on Rogue 1 so much? It was mostly ok.
I was even liking this film at first, right up to the arrival of the alliance bombers...suddenly a strong opening became a painful and slow effort to create something suspenseful. You know what makes suspense not work? It certainly doesn't come from trying to jam a suspenseful moment in every 5 minutes.
@Dozer...are you forgetting all the force based telekinesis she does with Luke, and even a small amount with kylo? I'm pretty sure she made a reference to not being a good student in force awakens too.
You are right though! That was one of the most shitful moments in cinema that I have seen in a long long time. She looked like Mary Poppins for fuck's sake! Only going side ways and without an umbrella. With Carrie Fisher dying they really should've taken this opportunity to write out her character in a way that would have been appropriate to that character. Right up the front fighting the bad guys! What happens now? A quick mention in the opening scroll of the next film? Will she die of a broken heart? Will there be another abomination of CGI to keep her in long enough for an explosion? Will she somehow become a force ghost as well? Pffft...she should be a space iceberg. The only saving grace for this is that someone will no doubt edit in the space lock scene audio from 2001 "open the space lock Hal...". It isn't like she played any pivotal role post space walk anyway.
Fin and rose? Their whole side mission was moronic bullshit jammed in to pad the film out. It was unnecessary, didn't advance the plot or overall story, and was totally uninteresting. That I love you bull shit? Fuck off!!! I'd rather have seen him have a love scene with Admiral Ackbar!
Speaking of which...out like a pussy. Such a shame.
Not one single character in this new series is interesting. None. Not Poo, not Fin, Not Rey, Not Kylo, not Hux, and certainly not robo-balls. And Phasma? I really hope she is done. One of the worst characters they have created. That fight scene was stupid. I think they should have let Fin crash his (fuck those things were stupid) speeder into the mega-stupid-ram-battering-super-canon-doorbell. It would've been great if Hux killed Kylo and then his ship blew up! If Poo had have been sucked out of the hanger when his ship blew up. If the robot was fried after (I liked this bit) using his head as a switch board. If Rey got turned inside out by Snorkel. Kill them all! At least then you can start over. To me all the characters still feel like the 1 dimensional fodder that usually surrounds the main characters and end disappearing in a red misty explosion on some random beach. The acting is also really wooden. Maybe that is how acting is done now? Are they trying to capture that 1950s Hollywood style? Who knows.
One of the big things I disliked was the lack of use of Chewbacca. He just sits at the ship and waits? Fuck off. After all those years and the death of their buddy Han, he and Luke had nothing to talk about? Really??? Not even one night sitting around the fire eating roasted puffin-penguin and drinking fermented walrus blue juice while Rey is asleep?
I could rant for pages as there was sooooooooooo much o didn't like. Things I liked include:
- Help me obi wan kenobi. That was one of the best moments of the film.
- Luke throwing the light sabre away.
- Light speed attack! That was really cool. Shame I gave zero fuck's about the poorly scripted and wooden acted character. I would have loved if it was Poo that did it.
- Poo taking on Hux's ship solo.
- Luke vs Kylo, the whole thing. From the moment Luke appeared right through to him dying. I thought that was quite cool. I think it could have been strengthend by the film spending more time on Luke and Rey together prior to this rather than watching some cartoon about horse llama riding...at least that way it would make sense that he feels it is time for him to become one with the force and trust Rey to carry the torch.
- Snorkel dying. Good. He was a shit character. I think this should've been done differently but...good that it was done. I think it was a good call back to the way a sith apprentice would overthrow their master when the time was right to become the new sith master. I do think they should have not shown the Skywalker light sabre twitching before it happened, made it a total surprise.
- Yoda blowing up the tree.
That was about it. It was a long shit experience. I've seen all the others in cinema multiple times, even the ones that sucked really badly. I'm not sure I will bother with this one. It sucked a lot.
Why does everyone hate on Rogue 1 so much? It was mostly ok.