So my day today. Quite memorable.
First I wandered into the kitchen to grab a glass of orange juice at about 7am. Bit of noise outside with SE neighbours getting drainage sorted behind their shed, about 75m away. Another neighbour mowing, probably 100m away and S but closer some voices and engine noises to the W. Quick look out the window and wtf? That's my powerpole... my driveway...
Closer look and yep that aint good. I don't know why I am hiding their identities either.
Mowing contractors came down a dead end easement and reversed onto the grass to turn around. Didn't see the meter box and luckily kind of just missed it. Faint paint mark on the trailer mudguard and a scrub on the post. Nothing else though and post is still solid. I got a souciant angry or even a little more. The trailer was actually wedged in pretty tight but the body and meterbox has microns of clearance. Let them fuck around and panic for half an hour before volunteering to move the trailer with our 4wd. Their hilux was only 2wd and had no chance on dew wet grass. So that was sorted. Sigh.
Wife wanted to mow around the house and look the zero turn has two flat front tyres. No amount of air worked because one had popped off the bead. Bit of jackage later and a ratchet strap and yay it has seated. And then psssssss empty of air again. Tyre is dead... Option 2. Tractor gets fired up, flight controls relearned and off she goes a mowing.
Then for me a drive up to the coast...
Got stuck behind a 400 year old doing 15kph through the village (not 50) and stopping at every pedestrian crossing of which there are 3, confirming there was no one anywhere near before resuming at 15. It's ok, I have plenty of time.
Since I had plenty of time to go the back way where there are corners.
Get to the last set of lights after the side quest where there is a left turn, a left ish turn and a straight ahead and a right turn. Left continues the back way, left ish heads to the highway, straight ahead takes you to boganville and right to a different boganville. At the lights in the left ish lane I am behind an old ute. To my right in the straight ahead lane is another ute with car on a trailer and behind him another ute. Green light, old ute takes off sluggishly and while I was tracking behind him the other two utes decided their lane actually went left ish and just cut me off. So I turned left rather than accelerate into a car trailer and went further along the back road. Hmmmm. Sigh.
Now safely on the highway with all three lanes busy but not choked I went out to the passing lane where a 4 or 5t truck decided it needed that lane too and pulled in front of the two that were in front of me. We sat behind doing 97.03 passing the middle lane cars doing 97.01 and the first car in the queue got the shits and merged left. The car in front was a white BA falcon xr6 turbo. He caught up to the truck by jumping on the throttle and smoking up his rears. After another km or two the falcon started hitting the horn and flashing his lights. I could see the reflection off the truck body. Based on what I could see there was a car in front of the truck travelling at the aforementioned 97.03. Just before Caboolture the falcon had enough and passed the truck on the right hand side in what would normally be thought of as the right hand emergency lane. The one with gravel and stones and detritus. The falcon got a little sideways due to over zealous throttle activity and I suspect brushed the wire barrier on its right but managed to get past the truck and squeeze between it and the car in front in order to cross a further 4 lanes of traffic to exit onto the Bribie Island slip lane. Sigh, again.
At this point the truck was able to move over and normal reception resumed. I got past the truck and the 97 er who happened to have garden state plates no doubt referencing his mental acuity as a vegetable.
Things improved for the next 17 seconds and then from the far left lane a white Haval Jolian GWM Lux (those were the badges I could see) merged right. I was side by side and his little red light on the mirror was saying please stay in the current lane (as was I) but you know it didn't happen so I exercised my rights and stood on the middle pedal. All was good. I was not hit by 2 tonnes of jinping junk nor liberaced by anyone. A moment later the white Haval Jolian GWM Lux then pulled back into the left lane. Confident now that I could not trust it I moved in the right lane and passed.
I arrived at my destination. Had a good laugh at the morning and had an iced coffee and decided to visit the friendly orange tractor man who demonstrated the loader undressing to say hello. I thence decided to go orange and get the bigger engine but still have the small wheels.
Being close to my sister's place and since they weren't home I thought it would be prudent to check on chris the crocodile. Well he was wedged on the shoreline and clearly not real. I picked him up and tossed him into the middle of the little dam. Where he bounced and floated upside down. Fuck. That looks worse. The next 15 minutes was rummaging in the shed and grabbing some aluminium irrigation pipe with which I was able to right the poor fellow and leave him next to some lillies. Naturally not before sliding into the dam and getting my runners wet and muddy.
Caught up with some peoples as planned, talked farming shit and tractors and then it was time to head home. I discovered that an MB SUV thing can be comfortably intimate with your rear end in a 60 zone but if that 60 zone contains a right angle corner and they decide to follow my lead and not brake they have to rejoin the road from the grass on the other side of the road. Interesting. Sigh.
My trip on the highway was relatively normal until just near the Caloundra turn off. A white Haval Jolian GWM Lux appeared from the slip road and cut me off. Wow I thought, they actually sold two of those! Alas no. It was the same fucktard. Sigh, again.
Around about the Boundary Road exit I saw a sheet of metal about 1m square alight from a utility in the left lane a few cars ahead of me. Said sheet flew across the road and hit the car in front of me. Luckily ish it was on the ground by the time I ran over it. Was I travelling too close to the car in front. Usually. I will have a proper check for damage tomorrow.
Anyway I drove home getting off the highway and avoiding the utes and morons as much as possible.
At home I made a coffee and sat on the verandah explaining to my wife what a wonderful day I had had. Then the cracked corner of a tooth that I am getting repaired next week chose to break off because a shortbread cream is obviously a tough biscuit to chew.
At this point I thought stuff it and ordered the orange tractor.
Tomorrow is going to be better, isn't it???????????????????????