Confessions from the fuckwits

pink poodle

pink poodle

気が狂っている男
eastie said:
I weakened today and did something I've never done before, I shared the holiest of holy's, yes that's right, i shared a camel back. I've let fuckers who decided to weight weenie on water suffer through sub saharan sand storms before, but i've obviously softened of late.

Of all the fuckers, I shared it with ....Knuckles. He has proven himself a true and worthy weight weenie, embarking on a 4hr 32 degree ride with a half bottle. Respect for trying!
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Ha! I ride with so many unprepared fuckers these days that I always carry extra bottles and snacks. Nothing worse that the foolish needing a drink or the ride is over, and I don't do sharesies. I used to be very generous with my camel back. As long as the person in need was prepared to kneel in front of me and allow me to squirt from the hose into their mouth (maybe a little on their face) they could drink all they wanted! Usually didn't take too long for them to start remembering to bring a drink next time.
 
K

Klips

Likes Dirt
Drove to Stromlo, got the bike out of the car, faffed around a bit then went for a warm up. Bike felt weird and it turned out the wheel was rubbing on the chainstay. I checked out the thru-axle and it was right, but realised my tyre was losing air. Took the wheel out, put a tube in, kept rolling around but it still felt weird. Rolled a few tracks to get down to the carpark again, checked the spokes - loose. Tightened the spokes, rode it around the carpark, it was a bit better. Tightened them some more, felt better still but still wasn't right. A mate came over, I explained the problem, he pushed on the bottom bracket and there was heeeeeeeaps of flex. Then he said "oh, you're missing a bolt".

Turns out the bolt holding the chainstay on at the back end had fallen out. Cue panic, as I had an advanced skills course on in 10 minutes and tear-drop shaped nuts aren't in my spare kit bag. Fortunately, it had dropped out just behind the car - grabbed the bits, stuck them back in (tight) and now am going to buy some loctite.
 
frank_n

frank_n

Likes Dirt
Finished work, picked up the missus and her friend, chucked the bike on the roof & drove 4hrs to Melrose..... 3hrs in, got a text from a mate saying did you mean to leave your front wheel outside the offices - put in your office for safe keeping.... Upside was I hired two new bikes to try out from "Over the Edge" bike shop for the weekend
 
Knuckles

Knuckles

Lives under a bridge
frank_n said:
Finished work, picked up the missus and her friend, chucked the bike on the roof & drove 4hrs to Melrose..... 3hrs in, got a text from a mate saying did you mean to leave your front wheel outside the offices - put in your office for safe keeping.... Upside was I hired two new bikes to try out from "Over the Edge" bike shop for the weekend
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That's a relief, every time I see the term 'chucked the bike on the roof' in this thread, I have major cringe.
 
Pastavore

Pastavore

Eats Squid
frank_n said:
Finished work, picked up the missus and her friend, chucked the bike on the roof & drove 4hrs to Melrose..... 3hrs in, got a text from a mate saying did you mean to leave your front wheel outside the offices - put in your office for safe keeping.... Upside was I hired two new bikes to try out from "Over the Edge" bike shop for the weekend
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That's some nice fuckwittery Frank.


Hope you bought your mate a nice bottle of wine.
 
W

Warwick

Likes Dirt
frank_n said:
Finished work, picked up the missus and her friend, chucked the bike on the roof & drove 4hrs to Melrose..... 3hrs in, got a text from a mate saying did you mean to leave your front wheel outside the offices - put in your office for safe keeping.... Upside was I hired two new bikes to try out from "Over the Edge" bike shop for the weekend
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I left my shoes at the start of an 8 hour drive, but I didn't leave part of the bike itself!
You Sir, are a genuine fuckwit!
 
swaz

swaz

Likes Bikes and Dirt
Rode the rockiest, steepest part of the track yesterday with my front forks locked out. Cursing half way down about how I need to get off my arse and service the forks coz they are feeling extra harsh.:frusty:
 
T

takai

Eats Squid
Forgot that you have to take the cassette lock ring off the Hope Pro2s before changing axle end caps. Now have to reseat the free hub seal.
 
eastie

eastie

Likes Bikes and Dirt
takai said:
Forgot that you have to take the cassette lock ring off the Hope Pro2s before changing axle end caps. Now have to reseat the free hub seal.
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Use the handle of a tea spoon to press it back in, that way you can avoid going near sharp things like screw drivers.
 
T

takai

Eats Squid
Oh. I have plenty of seal fitting tools. That's the easy bit. The annoying bit was pulling it out by accident.
 
eastie

eastie

Likes Bikes and Dirt
takai said:
Oh. I have plenty of seal fitting tools. That's the easy bit. The annoying bit was pulling it out by accident.
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I think you're being too hard on yourself... if you'd have said the pawls and springs went flying with the spacer washer and now you can't find everything because it's probably gone under the deck where you were doing it, a deck which has no access under it.....

yep, been there.
 
pharmaboy

pharmaboy

Eats Squid
swaz said:
Rode the rockiest, steepest part of the track yesterday with my front forks locked out. Cursing half way down about how I need to get off my arse and service the forks coz they are feeling extra harsh.:frusty:
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Lol swaz - surely everyone has done that at least 37 times - for me it's always the rear - fuck me , you'd have to be stupid to ride a hardtail......

Frank wins though, not because he forgot it, but because he didn't realise he'd forgotten it till a non biking work colleague figured it out for him lol
 
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crash3

crash3

Likes Dirt
Hola y'all

New to the forums and MTB in general, so here's the first (of likely to be many) intalment of fuck-wittery by Jacob

- Buys used Trek 3900 with shitty cable discs, despite all prior research and advice
- Buys used Elixr 5 hydros to retro fit
- Goes to install hydros - shifter integrated into current brake lever mount.
- Realizes self is fuckwit
 
Knuckles

Knuckles

Lives under a bridge
crash3 said:
Hola y'all

New to the forums and MTB in general, so here's the first (of likely to be many) intalment of fuck-wittery by Jacob

- Buys used Trek 3900 with shitty cable discs, despite all prior research and advice
- Buys used Elixr 5 hydros to retro fit
- Goes to install hydros - shifter integrated into current brake lever mount.
- Realizes self is fuckwit
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That made me :)
 
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