FR Drew
Not a custom title.
Farley, are you the only person on planet earth whose judgement doesn't go to shit when you're smashed? I'm happy for you but I don't think you can impose your lofty standard of extreme ethanol proof self control on the rest of the planet.
The point has been made that they were going through a rough patch. As far as I know, rough patches are the bits that make you think "do i really want to be in this relationship?" and "might someone else be better for me?" These are a really bad time to be out sinking brews with the opposite sex as you don't have the restraint not to act on the initial impulse. To say "If she really loved him she wouldn't have cheated" is a blanket statement but, in my opinion at least, an utter load of crap.
If these folks stay together, they've got a rought road ahead. Dented trust is a killer. No matter how long you keep your nose clean there's always that little niggle in the mind of the other person of if they can trust you.
As for Fat_Ride's theory, if that's the attitude then give up now. One betrayal can never be cancelled out by another from the other partner. You eiother say that you're going to stay, wipe the slate and put it behind you as best you can or you accept that the whole situation is farked and get out. You can't have it both ways, you can't keep a grudge for years and you can't stack a retaliatory shag in the cupboard for whenever in the future you feel you might want to get back at someone.
I'm living with a screwup I made with a fiancee 8 years ago (we've been married 6 years) while i was clinically depressed. Ended up on medication for 6 months and got my shit back together, but not till I'd bolloxed my uni studies, bolloxed my relationship, bolloxed half my friendships. If there was one thing in my entire life I could undo, that one betrayal would be it. It's always hanging over me and i know that even though I was farked up at the time, i'll never have 100% trust from the woman I love, there's always going to be that little seed of doubt. "Why couldn't it happen again?"
If these folks get it together, their road aint gonna be smooth.
Drew
The point has been made that they were going through a rough patch. As far as I know, rough patches are the bits that make you think "do i really want to be in this relationship?" and "might someone else be better for me?" These are a really bad time to be out sinking brews with the opposite sex as you don't have the restraint not to act on the initial impulse. To say "If she really loved him she wouldn't have cheated" is a blanket statement but, in my opinion at least, an utter load of crap.
If these folks stay together, they've got a rought road ahead. Dented trust is a killer. No matter how long you keep your nose clean there's always that little niggle in the mind of the other person of if they can trust you.
As for Fat_Ride's theory, if that's the attitude then give up now. One betrayal can never be cancelled out by another from the other partner. You eiother say that you're going to stay, wipe the slate and put it behind you as best you can or you accept that the whole situation is farked and get out. You can't have it both ways, you can't keep a grudge for years and you can't stack a retaliatory shag in the cupboard for whenever in the future you feel you might want to get back at someone.
I'm living with a screwup I made with a fiancee 8 years ago (we've been married 6 years) while i was clinically depressed. Ended up on medication for 6 months and got my shit back together, but not till I'd bolloxed my uni studies, bolloxed my relationship, bolloxed half my friendships. If there was one thing in my entire life I could undo, that one betrayal would be it. It's always hanging over me and i know that even though I was farked up at the time, i'll never have 100% trust from the woman I love, there's always going to be that little seed of doubt. "Why couldn't it happen again?"
If these folks get it together, their road aint gonna be smooth.
Drew