Confessions from the fuckwits

callum1

callum1

Likes Dirt
on my ride to pay the bills this morning i was playing with the gears running from one end of the cassette to the other. and noticed I only felt 9 clicks...
Stopped and counted the rings on my cassette.
realized i'v been riding a 9 speed for the last year! i'v never bothered to count, or noticed, I just assumed it was 10speed for some reason.
 
callum1

callum1

Likes Dirt
adds to the fuckwittery. I probly lost count and my brain just made up a number, but either way it made me look at the cassette closer, causing the discovery.
 
C

call_me_bruce

Likes Dirt
I went to ride to work early the other morning (6am, still dark) and my headlight had stopped working. 'Hang it' I thought, 'I'll ride anyway'. I was doing ok riding down this dirt track using nearish streetlights to see by. I was riding through a dark bit and ran straight into a tree that had fallen over the night before.
 
davnic74

davnic74

Likes Bikes
At Lysty Saturday and had to get through a Fence at the start were normally I just lift the front up and wheel it through the narrow gap... Easy.
This time I was on the bike un clipped left foot then right foot, then as I flicked the bike up onto back wheel using right foot on pedal I clipped back in hence me going up with bike and onto my back to the Amusement of my missus standing behind me...
First stack and I wasn't even ridding!!!
 
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lindz1817

lindz1817

Likes Dirt
Been completely winging some upgrades on the bike lately. Been trying to convert to 1x10 with no guide. I got a new clutched mech and chainring. Removed my front derailleur and shifter, changed the gear cable and rear mech, took off existing chainrings and spider and put on a direct mount ring. Finally got the rear mech tuned up and had it finished, went outside to pedal down the road. Took about 3 pedal strokes, stood up and SNAP! Then just the sound of all my bits of chain carpet bombing the road. Luckily i didn't end up arse over or with a face full of stem. Apparently i am just incompetent and should not be allowed near anything with moving parts!
 
Toughy

Toughy

Likes Bikes
call_me_bruce said:
I went to ride to work early the other morning (6am, still dark) and my headlight had stopped working. 'Hang it' I thought, 'I'll ride anyway'. I was doing ok riding down this dirt track using nearish streetlights to see by. I was riding through a dark bit and ran straight into a tree that had fallen over the night before.
Click to expand...
That brings back memories. Riding home from work one night taking the off road option when the lights ran out. Not to worry, almost a full moon so just had to take it easy and stick to the fire trail. Finally got to the slight downhill section near home and thought it better to play it safe instead of taking the single track through the trees where it'd be dark. Stuck with the safe option of sticking to the fire trail... didn't see the downed tree until too late.
 
Norco Maniac

Norco Maniac

Is back!
Lent a shovelling hand again at last Sunday's (ongoing) track mods at Gawler. After we packed tools up for the day I was videoing the kids riding. Farkwit me then allowed myself to be talked into taking a mates bike for a spin on the new and rain soggy track. Cue Violet struggling with cleat shoes two sizes too big on a very soft track with a Powerblock front tyre...no need to say how many bruises I limped away with. :cheer2:
 
sawtell

sawtell

The Great White Rooks Hunter
Bought a new fork, ordered a brake adapter over the phone on the Monday from store in melbourne city as I was to lazy to travel the 10kms to pick it up. Come the Friday They hadn't posted yet!!. (How id love to publicly flame this store!!!!!)

in my rage I went to another store, bought a brake adapter. Went to install it.
it didnt fit, my calliper was hitting the forks.


In car flying back to the store as it was about to close all guns blazing at the sales attendant 'eff this eff that waste my time' etc etc....
Yup it was the right adapter....Yup It's just been a long time since I installed disc brakes

hahaha I didn't have the cup washers on to space it out that extra ~4mm... My bad.


I think ill stick to online shopping, they post on time and atleast I can only rage at people via email that way!
 
bear the bear

bear the bear

Is a real bear
Something worthy of this thread......

Last Sunday on the way back from a race, heading down a gravel road on the way home.
Come round the last corner and drive right into a huge pothole, can feel the car bottom out, teeth smash together...you know the feeling.
Keep driving ,clear the last of the gravel, then 5k up the road look in the rearview mirror...no bike!!!! :rip: Stomach drops, pull to side of the road. Turn the car off and slowly get out and walk around the back... Bikes still there attached to the rack however the top support holding it vertical had let go when I hit the pothole and the bike had just been dragged 5k down the road.

Damage report: 1 set of new thomson carbon bars ground down to 3/4 length (I am sure that is not the approve method for cutting them down), I ground down XTR brake lever to half size.

Inspect the clamp on the rack and find it is loose and hadn't been tightned enough.....f$%kwit :mad2:
 
Puddleduck

Puddleduck

Likes Dirt
Hey Bear, I was driving behind my mate on a bitumen road on our way to a 6 hr race about ~4years ago. We were going to ride as a team of two. We were about 45 mins into the drive (45mins from his place fortunately) had about another 20 mins to get to the destination just in time for the race start . He must have not secured his bike correctly.... Both car were doing about 100km/hr on the open road. The bike was secured by bottom straps as well, so it didn't detach when it tipped over. I flashed my lights at him until he pulled over. Needless to say a carbon bar + XT brake lever vs the bitumen road, road won:lalala:. He had to drive back home and replace the bar and lever and then head back to the race. I had to do the first three laps myself. :violin: We pulled out half way through the race as our training was destroying beer for the 3 months leading up to the event, so we had our drinking pace on but not our racing pace on. It was also a 36 degree day. Went back to his place drank beer and freaked out about his destroyed expensive carbon bars and brake.
 
wombat

wombat

Lives in a hole
Oh yeah, I'm back. Not bike related but still a premium dumb moment:

The Girl's car has a shitbox stereo in it, it's a special model that shuts itself down whenever you hit a bump bigger than a 20c piece. It finally gave me the shits enough that I started installing a new one this afternoon.

Step one: remove shitbox unit and throw in bin.
...
Step 19, after a few hours work, realise that you still had a CD in the shitbox player and go rifling round in the bin trying to find it.

Thankfully it was easy to strip it down and trigger the release mechanism. To add insult to injury, I forgot the jigsaw too, so I spent half the afternoon making MDF speaker spacers with a stanley knife and a screwdriver. As a result, the new headunit still isn't in. Boo.
 
teK--

teK--

Eats Squid
Took the third tabletop at Aneurism (Lysterfield) way too quick and got major air time, couldn't clip foot back in before landing, so by the time I hit the next bump I was already unsteady. Got launched into large tree just before the berm and slammed into it just right of centre.

Got away with a sprained wrist and very sore chest. Bike and my face was OK.
 
Urban DH

Urban DH

Likes Bikes and Dirt
mate: yeh man the new tubeless is sweet as! tested it with a 3mm allen key and she sealed right up!
me: can I have a go with a small screw driver?
mate: yeh sure man GO NUTS!
me, stab stab stab
mate, turns round
me: dude this is shit doesn't even weap fluid!
mate: (shakes head) FARK I only put it the rear you cock head! I don't get flats in the front you fuckwit!
me: hmmm XXXX Gold?
mate: yep!
 
swaz

swaz

Likes Bikes and Dirt
I am a teacher- I have HEAPS of FW stories. Mostly involving students.

Scene: year 8 class of the not-so-brights. Teacher writing on the board.

One students calls out to another student to shut up and stop being a turkey.

Another student butts in, as usual, without really hearing the initial call and says "yeah shut up, my mum has herpes!!"


Year 10 student gets a fully sick tat on his arm, very proud of it as it is one of his fav sayings from Ned Kelly. He how has tattooed across his forearm SUCH AS LIFE

This is a teacher one.

Scene: We usually give the answer sheets to tests a name such as Ann Swers, or in this case Sol Utions. Teacher is new to the school.

As she goes though the exams she notices Sol has done very very well in this exam, in fact he has aced it. Looked him up on the system but he isn't there. Oh well, this deserves an award. So the teacher makes one up... Someone had twigged onto this and someone else called in, pretending to be Sol's dad, wondering how his son is going at his new school. Teacher gives a full run down on how Sol is going at school.
 
Knuckles

Knuckles

Lives under a bridge
swaz said:
Year 10 student gets a fully sick tat on his arm, very proud of it as it is one of his fav sayings from Ned Kelly. He how has tattooed across his forearm SUCH AS LIFE.
Click to expand...
His parents must be beaming at parent teacher interview time.
 
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