Inverse beater project - even uglier!

[Rik]

A few weeks ago I was asking about cheap 29" MTB options for commuting. The decision was made quickly and I now have a bike...

It is intended for bashing around the city at all times of day and night, and I'll be leaving it locked up in some dodgy areas for long periods so theft-prevention is crucial. Another important thing is all-weather riding so mudguards and smart component choice is a must.
This bike is going to be a pure commuter that in theory should get me anywhere I need to go and save me catching bus/train/taxi whenever I want to go out. Riding to pubs/gigs/mates, leaving it locked up and wobbling home on it is the plan, to save me taxi fares and also force me to not drink as much and leave at a sensible hour (HAH!, yeah right).

So what do I do now? Well, the exact opposite of what most people get off on doing. Forget taking a sad old crapheap and making it look/go well, I want to take a perfectly good bike and turn it in to a pile of junk... aesthetically at least.

Things won't get underway for another week or two whilst I get current work done, but here's some pics to start with:

KHS Solo-One 29".

Incredible value for money, <$1000 with cromoly frame and fork, disc mounts, sliding vertical dropouts, Rhyno Lite rims and truvativ bits. The dropout is a huge feature for me, EBB's are crud and horizontals are terribly impractical. For the price it'd make a great fun XC bike or in my case a burly commuter, you can't go past practical simplicity.

This'll get stripped pretty soon, the good bits sold and the real fun will begin

 

[bazza]

already does....

 

[Dicky]

*subscribes to thread*

 

[k3n!f]

More reflectors, some "Save the Whales" stickers and a basket on the front.

 

['Ross]

More reflectors, rip up the seat or cut it up a bit, then tape it up again. Random duct tape to cover up the logos, novelty air horn (will also come in handy for scaring pedestrians and members of the puclic)

 

[johnny]

Haha, nice! You are a wobbler!

What's the philosophy behind 29"? Faster, smoother, easier to pedal? What the story?

 

[kyleman]

As Ive seen a bike locked up on a bridge on southbank...paint the whole bike dark purple with spray paint..seat and all.
NO-ONE would want to steal that.
And youll get a couple of laughs but not the haha he has a crap bike sort of laughs. The what an idiot..must be a funny guy sort of laughs.

 

[pinned--->]

Basket, give it the worst paint job you can using strictly one layer and a spray can, throw the bars in salt water over night, and rip the seat. I'm really excited to see the what it comes out like.

 

[Pete J]

I've got one word for you, racks! Not the boobular kind but the ones that help you carry stuff. They make any bike look shite and the more there are, the less anyone would want to steal it. Get a rack for the forks, one for the rear, a basket, lots of bottle cages and a seat bag as well. To top it all off, add one of those orange flags on a stick, i guarantee that only the nerdiest of the cycling community will even give your steed a second glance!

 

[bazza]

I've got one word for you, racks! Not the boobular kind but the ones that help you carry stuff. They make any bike look shite and the more there are, the less anyone would want to steal it. Get a rack for the forks, one for the rear, a basket, lots of bottle cages and a seat bag as well. To top it all off, add one of those orange flags on a stick, i guarantee that only the nerdiest of the cycling community will even give your steed a second glance!

with a milk crate.........as old as possible........ on the back as well. held by okey straps as equally old as the milk crate. and maybe an old stray cat in there as well. and a novelty toy strapped to the front of the bike.

 

[...jim]

Mud guards are great - they protect you from the wets *and* make your bike look like shite.

Reflectors are up there too.

Pull out those crap looking grips you took off your mountain bike three years ago - the manky ones. Who'd want to touch them!? (use gloves) Old Ourys are great - they don't weather well.

Stickers are good - more so when they're a bit old so don't be going the really high quality vinyl ones - the crap paper ones wear much quicker.

A bolt-up front axle ain't a bad idea, 'cause then you only have to carry around a U-lock...make it a good one because most bike theft is of convenience ('cause Ol' Mate Junkie wants to get to the next suburb to score) rather than the pinching of nice bikes because they're nice.

 

[dain2772]

I reckon several pieces of duct tape on the seat, but don't worry tearing it. lots of stickers on the frame - because if you try to scratch the frame up it could lead to rust/deterioration of the frame which you don't want.

scuff up the tyres plenty, don't want them looking too new, and definitely get some old grips.

get some lube and put it on the chainstays and seat stays, then ride through a dusty area so it all sticks on.

 

[Cameo]

Nice Rik,

As for ghetto-factor. I suggest a few layers of paint, dull reds, browns, maybe some black. Then, go and scrape back some parts so random colours are showing, or place your bike up against a pole as you would lock it, but make sure you reall grind your top tube against the galvanised STOP sign, or rubbish bin that you're locking it to.

Tyres, do a few tyre slides on a gutter. You know, front wheel on top of the gutter, rear wheel sliding along. That'll scuff up the logos a bit, and dull the tyre from the fresh black state it is in now.

 

[-Elliot-]

Recipe For Ghetto Looking commuter....

1. Ghetto spray job (as seen on stolen bikes) E.G Overspray, different colours, runs in paint, etc
2. Heaps of scratches
3. Duct tape in various places
4. Cheesy stickers E.G "save the environment" etc
5. Heaps of reflectors... (but not matching pairs)

I think that covers it.

 

[Turner_rider]

Paint finish wise I don't think you can go past hidesy's work....

If you could team that finish with a fluro yellow, orange to pink fade and add a few homemade world championship rainbow stripes and you'd be set.

 

['Ross]

Douse the brakes in WD40 so if any potential thiefs see you coming, they will be turned off after hearing ear piercingly screechy brakes.

Get some excessive cables going, doesn't matter if they are going to any parts or there for any reason, as long as they are loose and excessive.

Loosen the front wheel so it doesn't roll straight and appears buckled.

For Gods sake apply some dirt/grime to that chain!

 

[Tom Foolery]

with a milk crate.........and maybe an old stray cat in there as well..

I just pissed myself laughing~! Nice one!

 

[Mr Pants]

Good choice of bike Rik, it's a damn fine steed, pity you're going to ghetto-ise it but for good reason.

Mine with a a whole 2" of suspension fork on the front is a gad damn steamroller, mucho fun!

 

[rhysrhysbaby]

hHAHAH!
such a good idea!
looking forward to seeing progress!

 

[suG]

I think you should take 3 or 4 spokes out of each wheel replacing them with silver ones.
You need lots of stickers
maybe some foam grips big fat one like the ones of scooters
some odd tyers
get ried of most of the black parts (replacing them with silver) as IMO they look appealing to thieves.
maybe try and find some of thoes really old brake leavers that are quite long and plastic

this looks like it will be pretty funny