...how the fuck do you find this funny?
Jokes Thread.
- Thread starter mattvincent
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Rampage Ripper
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f(x) walks into a resturant and asks for a meal. the waiter says, "sorry mate, we don't cater for functions"
lame ass maths joke i saw on the whiteboard is my class when i went to school the other day
lame ass maths joke i saw on the whiteboard is my class when i went to school the other day
blakie49
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Classic Fuuny how the simple things can be so powerful.
Rampage Ripper
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alright, i'll share another with ya. Barrack Obama, Michelle Obama and Opera Winifrey are in their own, private jet plane.
Barrack Obama says "You know, i could throw this $1000 bill out the window and make 1 person very happy"
Michelle Obama says "I could throw ten $100 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy
Oprah Winifrey says "I could throw one hundred $10 bills out the window and make 100 people very happy
The pilot over hears the conversation and says to the the co-pilot " The snobs, thinking there all high and mighty. You know, i could throw them all out of the window and make 75000 people very happy"
Barrack Obama says "You know, i could throw this $1000 bill out the window and make 1 person very happy"
Michelle Obama says "I could throw ten $100 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy
Oprah Winifrey says "I could throw one hundred $10 bills out the window and make 100 people very happy
The pilot over hears the conversation and says to the the co-pilot " The snobs, thinking there all high and mighty. You know, i could throw them all out of the window and make 75000 people very happy"
Bocaj1994
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''alright, i'll share another with ya. Barrack Obama, Michelle Obama and Opera Winifrey are in their own, private jet plane.
Barrack Obama says "You know, i could throw this $1000 bill out the window and make 1 person very happy"
Michelle Obama says "I could throw ten $100 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy
Oprah Winifrey says "I could throw one hundred $10 bills out the window and make 100 people very happy
The pilot over hears the conversation and says to the the co-pilot " The snobs, thinking there all high and mighty. You know, i could throw them all out of the window and make 75000 people very happy"
That would work better with the ladies from 'The View' and if you are a Family Guy fan yes they do sound like chickens.
Neon
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i hear ya brotha
chu
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HahahahaI don't really find it funny either.
I find it pretty damn erotic.
OMG. So nerdy but fuck that was funny. I am going to tell my maths teacher.
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lol same as above
tommyturtle
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There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad that she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "It's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
molzy13
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ahh fuckk
i cringed when i watched those last seconds
ahhh, so hilarious
got a joke of me own
dont peticularly wanna go through it all, from what ive seen, it hasnt been said
an unusual man goes into the pub
unusual man : i bet you $10 i could take my left eye out
barkeeper : yeah alright, why not
he takes his left eye out as its a fake glass one, and in doing so he recieves ten bux
he goes in the next day, and bets the 10bux waiter that he can take his teeth out and put it on his left eye
the waiter, just for his own amusement says: "yeah alright, why not"
the man does so, hence, wins ten bucks
he comes in the next day and says
unusual man : how bout this, if i can accurately piss in that glass 10 metres away from me and not miss, you owe another ten bucks, otherwsie il pay up!
the waiter knows he will win, so he puts him up on the bet.
the unusual man pisses ALL over the place, getting none in the cup
barkeeper : why did you do that? you just lost ten dollars?
the man says: "yeah but i bet with that bloke over there 100bux that i could piss all over your bar and you wouldn't give a shit!"
dont peticularly wanna go through it all, from what ive seen, it hasnt been said
an unusual man goes into the pub
unusual man : i bet you $10 i could take my left eye out
barkeeper : yeah alright, why not
he takes his left eye out as its a fake glass one, and in doing so he recieves ten bux
he goes in the next day, and bets the 10bux waiter that he can take his teeth out and put it on his left eye
the waiter, just for his own amusement says: "yeah alright, why not"
the man does so, hence, wins ten bucks
he comes in the next day and says
unusual man : how bout this, if i can accurately piss in that glass 10 metres away from me and not miss, you owe another ten bucks, otherwsie il pay up!
the waiter knows he will win, so he puts him up on the bet.
the unusual man pisses ALL over the place, getting none in the cup
barkeeper : why did you do that? you just lost ten dollars?
the man says: "yeah but i bet with that bloke over there 100bux that i could piss all over your bar and you wouldn't give a shit!"
Rampage Ripper
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the virgin girl is on the phone and asks her boyfriend to come
over and have dinner with her parents
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time
Well,the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before,so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms
He tellsthe pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and
sex
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3pack, 10-pack, or family
pack
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head
A minute passes,and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down
10 minutes pass, and stil no movement from the boy
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend lean over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious"
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist
over and have dinner with her parents
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time
Well,the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before,so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms
He tellsthe pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and
sex
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3pack, 10-pack, or family
pack
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head
A minute passes,and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down
10 minutes pass, and stil no movement from the boy
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend lean over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious"
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist