Safari theory
Dozer's tips reminded me of a few travel stories. Here's something for you "for those about to rock"...
So I'm going to divulge this theory. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone this but I've kept it secret for over 12 years and I'm married now so I don't need to keep it secret any longer. Besides that, the guy that told me was an asshole anyway. It's not like I used it, much. Just a couple of times. But I've seen it used successfully a lot of times.
So I was partying in Prague back in 2000 getting loaded all day, every day. You know there was a smoko bar just off the main street? Cops and military guys used to go there and everything. Probably not there anymore... So I made a lot of friends and it was just one bender after another, and we ended going down to Ceske Krumlov and living in this medieval hostel place and just got smashed constantly for a month when I wasn't at hospital.
Back in the day I did alright with the ladies, hell we all did in places like Czech. I've since talked to Czech girls and apparently they were keen to try out western guys coz all these new things from the west were pretty good, so we did pretty good with them. But mostly we partied with the travellers that weren't too hard either but yeah you had to work a bit.
So this one guy, the silent operator, me and all these guys would be drinking and chatting up birds and the silent operator would just be sitting there in the corner and sipping away at his drink but every night he would pick up with some fine, fine lady. One night pretty late we were at the snake pit getting shitfaced and silent operator was making out with this unbelievable bird. He left soon after and later in the night I dragged my ass back to the medieval bat cave. So I open the door and the silent operator is pounding away at this bird like a champion. The poor bloke in the next bed had just come from a kibutz or something and had to be exposed to some pretty extraordinary scenes. Once he's had his way he grabbed her clothes and shoes and kicked her out making some hollow promise to email. The next morning the guy from the kibutz was gone and the hostel managers never sent anyone else down to the bat cave. Anyway sorry for the long story, but we got ourselves out of bed and down to the nearest bar and smashed a few beers for breakfast while we got on the internet. Afterwards, we got on the scotch and got to talking about the silent operator's stellar performance and he told us all the secret of safari theory.
Everyone has watched some nature shows, a bit of discovery channel or whatever. So he tells us you need to consider yourself as the lion. The lion is only good for a short sprint but he can bring down all but the biggest prey by force. It's important in the wild that the predator gets more energy back from the hunt than is put into it. And gazelle, well they can run for miles, so don't try to chase down the first gazelle you see because you're just going to end up spending all of your energy and having nothing to show for it. When silent operator is sitting in the corner he's just watching what is going on, like the lion. The lion watches the hyena chase around the gazelle, but the hyena doesn't have the balls or the size to bring down the gazelle, especially not by itself. The hyenas are the "players" trying to "get" girls and they just chase them around and the girls just run and run. After a time, and a considerable amount of drinking, the hyenas are pretty tired but so are the gazelle. The lion picks the right moment when a gazelle is split from the herd and the hyenas are not looking, the gazelle's guard is down and the lion moves in.
When the shark attacks and the teeth sink into the prey, apparently the shark can tell in a split second whether they will be getting fat, or muscle and bone. Fat is where it's at, it provides more energy and a better return for the kill. Muscle and bone is more effort to eat, and digest and gives less energy return. So it's pretty common for a shark to bite something meaty and then just leave it. When you go for the kill, which will be brutal and savage, you will know in a split second whether you are getting the fat or bones and muscle. If you realise that you are not getting the fat, quickly retreat. If you are getting the fat, you should tear the prey to pieces, quickly and efficiently. Remember that the hyenas will be back in larger numbers to try to stop you and take the scraps. I'm pretty sure there was a whole lot more to it, but I hadn't eaten lunch and was pretty tanked by then so the rest was a blur.
Anyway, I was never a big subscriber to this theory. And once the silent operator had divulged this "secret" we all just sat there drinking watching everyone else like a pack of weirdos so that didn't work. Being some snake in long grass isn't especially cool in my books. But anyway, take some lessons from this, don't be a total tool but don't be the nice guy that finishes last either. And try not to hit the scotch before lunch.
Demon