Open plan offices, a real eye opener

Dene Dweller

Dene Dweller

Likes Dirt
Open plan offices are eye openers you have some good people but there are plenty of slobs and a shit load without any self awareness.
 
Flow-Rider

Flow-Rider

Burner
pink poodle said:
yes, but that is the obvious stuff. I liked to pop the keys off people's keyboards too. I kept a huge tub of lollies at my desk for when arseholes brought their kids into the office. "Take as many as you want timmy! I've got take away bags in the draw too." a nerf rocket as well (one of the visiting kids went rank on gummy bears and shot the speckled hen in the cunt! was so funny, i was pretty sure she was a virgin or transvestite). Another good one is to travel up/down a floor and drop off a phantom poo...or leave a really filthy dish in the sink (of that other floor, never your own). Post up A4 adverts in the lifts, or fake birthday wishes. Office workers love a good birthday.
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I bet you aimed it for the young bloke too.

I used to go into a main office every Friday to complete paper work. Only one fax printer and 10 office staff printing shit out all the time from their PCs, dumb fucks would never look at the printed paper and pick up everyone else's documents. One time I had the shits and sent some pornographic material but sent it to the wrong printer on another level and the directors got hold of it. Didn't I cop an ear bashing after that.
 
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link1896

link1896

Mr Greenfield
Dene Dweller said:
Good office prank is to physically swap the M and N keys, have seen an IT manager waste half an hour trying everything to fix that one.
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Take a print screen of the desktop, use it as wallpaper and move every icon into a folder elsewhere.

Watch them click that mouse till it hurts
 
stirk

stirk

Burner
I work in an open orifice. We don't have a permanent desk assigned so you sit where ever there is one free. It's great, I can sit amongst a group of people I've never met or with my friends.
Some people are slobs and leave bits of lunch or their mucus on the desk as a way to protect it, claim it as their own, dirty fuckers. I sit a people's favorite desks just to tweak them.

Some cultures squat on the toilet seat with their feet which is demed dirty by the bum sitters so signs went up in the toilets to discourage this non western behaviour. Later another sign mysteriously found its way into the toilets..... :heh:


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Dene Dweller

Dene Dweller

Likes Dirt
link1896 said:
Take a print screen of the desktop, use it as wallpaper and move every icon into a folder elsewhere.

Watch them click that mouse till it hurts
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That's works well however the last couple of places I've work at haven't permitted wallpaper changes, gggrrrr, oh well back to the M and N keys.
 
MARKL

MARKL

Eats Squid
:spy:Mate of mine and I would get into a lift with a person that we didn't know well but knew what floor they worked on/roughly what they did. Then we would talk between ourselves but be overheard by that person about something that was going on that would impact that floor/team. We would make up ridiculous crap from the salacious to the inane it didn't matter whether it was moving our office, a new office romance, job cuts, the 'real reason' somebody left etc. Used to love it when we would hear the rumors back a couple of weeks later.
 
Ultra Lord

Ultra Lord

Hurts. Requires Money. And is nerdy.
Stoked im on the tools. Offices sound like way too much work, before you even get to do any work.

Worst I had to deal with was a bloke thinking it would be funny to blue ball the apprentice.





And it turns out it was pretty funny!
 
Flow-Rider

Flow-Rider

Burner
Shredden said:
Fuck me you are a bunch of bitter old fuckers
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So would you be if all you want to do on a Friday is complete your 16hrs of paper work in 8 that turns into about 10hrs, but keep on getting distracted by open living style office people. If it's not complete, you get a big pineapple jammed up your arse hole and that's not longways but sideways too.
 
silentbutdeadly

silentbutdeadly

has some good things to say
Flow-Rider said:
So would you be if all you want to do on a Friday is complete your 16hrs of paper work in 8 that turns into about 10hrs, but keep on getting distracted by open living style office people. If it's not complete, you get a big pineapple jammed up your arse hole and that's not longways but sideways too.
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On the upside...you get to take a pineapple home to feed the family with.
 
S

schred

Likes Bikes and Dirt
nakedape said:
Fart. Fart a lot - folks will fall over themselves to get away from you.
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The thing is I find the opposite. I look around, all good, fart, then voila someone appears beside me at my desk, invariably had to lean right in, and is usually female. I've no idea why, it's almost a theory now. I have found best to drop it, quick sniff, then go and get a coffee/water etc if it's a bad one.

We might need an office pranks/hacks thread at some point.
 
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