rockmoose
his flabber is totally gastered
Anodised to match the cable end caps?
Confessions from the fuckwits
- Thread starter moorey
- Start date
Jpez
Down on the left!
So I’m in the shit with the missus.
Last week she’s working away on the computer, tap tap tappity tap, and she starts freaking out. Like major shrieking and shit. She’s like “WTF did you do to my computer????!” I didn’t do anything I say. I didn’t. “Then why does this email I just sent say words I didn’t write??!?!?! I’m still not sure whats going on.
Finally after more shrieking I look at her email and I realise what I’ve done. Yes me.
A week or so ago on her PHONE I changed some words. Text substitution. Just to fuck around with her with just text messages between us.
So I put in for the word ‘behind’ - Does my bum look fat in this?. And our local IGA is called Happy Apple. She often texts on the way home and says ‘I’m stopping past Happy Apple’ do we need anything? I substituted ‘Orgasmic Apple’ and a few other childish things.
Well it turns out that text substitution automatically goes to every device of hers.
So her computer, in an email with the ‘The Dept of fucking health NSW for a 100k interstate contract inserted the words ‘Orgasmic apple’ and ‘does my bum look fat in this? ‘ and she didn’t proofread it and sent it. Only realised when they replied and she looked back over her words. She can touch type and watch tv or have a convo at the same time so often doesn’t re read her words.
So. If you don’t hear from me for a while I’m dead. Probably cut up into little pieces. It’s very cold out in the garage.
Last week she’s working away on the computer, tap tap tappity tap, and she starts freaking out. Like major shrieking and shit. She’s like “WTF did you do to my computer????!” I didn’t do anything I say. I didn’t. “Then why does this email I just sent say words I didn’t write??!?!?! I’m still not sure whats going on.
Finally after more shrieking I look at her email and I realise what I’ve done. Yes me.
A week or so ago on her PHONE I changed some words. Text substitution. Just to fuck around with her with just text messages between us.
So I put in for the word ‘behind’ - Does my bum look fat in this?. And our local IGA is called Happy Apple. She often texts on the way home and says ‘I’m stopping past Happy Apple’ do we need anything? I substituted ‘Orgasmic Apple’ and a few other childish things.
Well it turns out that text substitution automatically goes to every device of hers.
So her computer, in an email with the ‘The Dept of fucking health NSW for a 100k interstate contract inserted the words ‘Orgasmic apple’ and ‘does my bum look fat in this? ‘ and she didn’t proofread it and sent it. Only realised when they replied and she looked back over her words. She can touch type and watch tv or have a convo at the same time so often doesn’t re read her words.
So. If you don’t hear from me for a while I’m dead. Probably cut up into little pieces. It’s very cold out in the garage.
cammas
Seamstress
Geez I thought it was bad when my granddaughter stuffed around on her iPad which is linked to Mrs iPad and all work emails go through as “Gamergirl” or some dumb shit. But that’s next level, also thanks for the coughing fit as I’m still crook and when I laugh hard I just end up choking.
Hopefully she can smooth it over but linked devices are always a trap.
sane
Likes Bikes and Dirt
pink poodle
気が狂っている男
Ultra Lord
Hurts. Requires Money. And is nerdy.
Ultra Lord
Hurts. Requires Money. And is nerdy.
This is the way.
Isildur
The Real Pedant
I think you just won CotFW @Jpez . For real. Like totally for real.
And there have been some absolute pearlers in this thread over the years. I mean even my "oven based slicko thinning" effort doesn't come close.
Farewell friend, it's been nice to know you on RB. Good luck on your next spin around The Wheel
And there have been some absolute pearlers in this thread over the years. I mean even my "oven based slicko thinning" effort doesn't come close.
Farewell friend, it's been nice to know you on RB. Good luck on your next spin around The Wheel
gregb
Likes Dirt
PJO
in me vL comy
ForkinGreat
Knows his Brassica oleracea
Fuck that, get TWO new bikes! and a truckload of tools.
Also, tell her that you have been thinking of joining the political party whose values are opposite to the ones she usually votes for, or if that's already the case, that you will be joining the party she votes for at every election.
Include hints of childhood trauma and how experimenting with ambien** and shrooms as a sacrament has been super cathartic for working through those issues to become a 'more harmonious and integrated being'. **The ambien could be your get out of jail card, as people have been known to do weird and trippy stuff whilst under the effects of ambien, and have ZERO recollection of it later. (unlike this post...
)If wine o'clock is not already a thing in the Jpez household, make it so, motherfucker!
Also, get a better sleeping bag, 4-season, FFS. Even if you are still allowed to sleep in the bed like human, shit's going to be cold for some time. Y'all need warmth.
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Stredda
Runs naked through virgin scrub
The Jpez house after that goes down....Fuck that, get TWO new bikes! and a truckload of tools.
Also, tell her that you have been thinking of joining the political party whose values are opposite to the ones she usually votes for, or if that's already the case, that you will be joining the party she votes for at every election.
Include hints of childhood trauma and how experimenting with ambien** and shrooms as a sacrament has been super cathartic for working through those issues to become a 'more harmonious and integrated being'. **The ambien could be your get out of jail card, as people have been known to do weird and trippy stuff whilst under the effects of ambien, and have ZERO recollection of it later. (unlike this post...
If wine o'clock is not already a thing in the Jpez household, make it so, motherfucker!
Also, get a better sleeping bag, 4-season, FFS. Even if you are still allowed to sleep in the bed like human, shit's going to be cold for some time. Y'all need warmth.
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Jpez
Down on the left!
So with all the pm’s asking about my welfare and pointing me toward homeless shelters and Beyond Blue organisations etc just want to say I’m lucky my missus has a pretty good sense of humour and she saw the funny side of it not too long after. It will be used against me in the future I have no doubt. But for now it’s all good.