Jokes Thread.

PINT of Stella. mate!

Many, many Scotches
What's the best thing about shagging twenty eight year olds?

They usually have nice well developed breasts, a healthy appetite for sex, years of sexual experience and all the dirty tricks they have learnt thus far.

Probably do you a good breakfast and wash your clothes too if you're lucky.

;)
 

who...?

Likes Dirt
Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman
may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a
description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of
the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may
choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next
floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going...
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with
Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak...
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign
reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store
just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
 

Binaural

Eats Squid
What's the best thing about shagging twenty eight year olds?

They usually have nice well developed breasts, a healthy appetite for sex, years of sexual experience and all the dirty tricks they have learnt thus far.

Probably do you a good breakfast and wash your clothes too if you're lucky.

;)
You and Slip should go and start an "sharing the afterglow from good sexual fortune" thread :p
 

slip

Beefcake...BEEFCAKE!!!
You and Slip should go and start an "sharing the afterglow from good sexual fortune" thread :p
Well, I am on fire.

I just have to check - Do you not know what the punchline is?

as an aside - What the fuck was I doing last night? Organising a chat eh. Thats what happens when you post completely off your scone. Idiot.
 

Binaural

Eats Squid
Well, I am on fire.

I just have to check - Do you not know what the punchline is?

as an aside - What the fuck was I doing last night? Organising a chat eh. Thats what happens when you post completely off your scone. Idiot.
Yep, I just thought I detected a certain... smugness in his post that I thought was indicative ;)

Speaking of on fire - how's that turn out? Walking tall this morning?
 

slip

Beefcake...BEEFCAKE!!!
A certain smugness in a POSM post? Surely you jest.

No, not walking tall this morning, unfortunately.
 

PINT of Stella. mate!

Many, many Scotches
Smug? Nah. I'm stuck on nightshift in bloody cronulla at the moment. Nice enough place but it's kinda wasted on me just now.

I just thought that was a nice little riposte to hearing the same 'twenty eight year olds" joke for the hundredth time...
 

Nathan_S

Likes Bikes and Dirt
what do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

lick.alot.of.puss


chuck norris doesnt pitty the fool.... he round houses him


if you speel chuck norris in scrabble you win for infinity
 
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